wedding planning

5 Flowers for the Month of Janauary

0 · Jan 15, 2020 ·

The landscape is grey and white. There’s billowing snow all around. Perhaps you can see a few evergreens or some of last summer’s weeds still poking up through the snow, but beyond that, January is a pretty barren month here in Northern Michigan.

But thankfully, there are still flowers growing in other parts of the world. Flowers that can quickly bring a little bright spot into our day or remind us that warmer months will return. In truth, January is when the flower markets really seem to jump to life – Japanese and Dutch products show up with some of the most unusual colors and shapes. The year I went to New York and visited the flower markets in January was unbelievable, I should have planned better because I simply wanted to try and buy them all.

Back to today, and the flowers I have in my studio right now. I’ve chosen 5 that I’m loving at the moment, sticking a little more to the basics, and hopefully inspiring any of you who might find yourselves in a creative rut or perhaps scared to plan any events in the winter months because “there aren’t any flowers this time of year”.

Spray White Allium

A truly white flower against a strong green stem, this bulbs begin showing up in the wholesale markets around this time of year and are available throughout most of the spring. The full flower is about 2-3 inches in diameter and covered in clusters of smaller flowers. I love these as fun accent flowers giving some lacey texture to an arrangement, or I’ve also incorporated the smaller, individual flowers into wrist corsages and other wearable flower pieces.

Dried Bougainvillea

I’ve coveted these little blooms in other designer’s work for years. I see it growing up fences and charming stone buildings. But, it’s not available in Michigan and does not have the tolerance for shipping, until now. This delicate little guy has been dried and is now the perfect little textural tidbit for an arrangement. The shape of the flower and overall look when placed in an arrangment is similar to a sweet pea, but we don’t have to worry about freezing them in the chilly January air and the color is more creamy, rather than a true crisp white. It warms up a winter arrangement, while still complimenting the landscape outside.

Hellebores

Also referred to as a Lenton Rose, these little guys are one of the first ones to spring to life in the garden. I’ve heard of them popping up and blooming through the snow, although I’ve personally never had that experience in my own garden. They are a great winter flower option though, not only because of the season, but also the subtle color they add to an arrangement. They’re mainly found in shades of pink, purple, green and white. The a single bloom usually contains more that one hue, creating a natural ombre effect and I simply love any flower that won’t define itself as just one color. Second bonus point for this little bloom, the colors are usually more on the antique scale which will appeal to those of us who like color, but not when it’s loudly screaming in your face.

Kochia

This is a new one to me, I saw it on my wholesaler’s list and thought I’d give it a try. I loved the texture and silvery color. Silvery green foliages are extremely popular, definately in the winter months, but really the entire year through. I’m always on the lookout for new ones to replace the ever popular dusty miller which everyone seems to love, but I personally have very little luck with. This is more delicate and textural adding just a touch of silver to an arrangement and making a really great, sturdy and linear, frosty option.

Quicksand Rose

My favorite of the standard roses, the quicksand rose. She’s hardy, dependable and opens up beautifully. She’s the perfect neutral, blending with pinks, white, beige and more golden hued flowers. Its the subtle way that she takes control of an arrangment that really makes me love her even more. She’s popular any time of year, although her availablity becomes a little more scarce during the summer months, due to the high demand.

This list could have carried on for awhile, but for now, those are 5 of my favorites. I’ll be sharing how I combined them into an arrangement and a tablescape later this month. Plus if you recieve my newsletter, you’ll get bonus content including an exact flower recipe and video. If you’re not on that list, you can joing HERE.

Happy Flowering!

Planning Marriage

1 · Dec 4, 2018 ·

Working in the wedding industry means I’m surrounded by weddings and marriage all the time. I devote my weekends in the summer to celebrating with couples and those long winter days to helping them decorate and plan. But those days are devoted to the wedding, not the marriage. We often use those words together, understanding how closely the two are related and sometimes even wrongly interchanging them, but they’re not the same, not even close.

Even doing what I do for a living, I wouldn’t call myself an expert in either of these areas, marriage or weddings. There’s always more work to be done. Always something more to learn. Always an area for improvement. Planning either of them is not easy.

7 years ago when I began writing in this little corner of the internet, I wanted to talk about the topic of marriage. But my courage waivered. I was barely more than a newlywed myself and what did I know? The ironic part of that is I would write about wedding planning as if I knew something, and yet I knew so little, being in the baby stages of my planning business as well.

I still don’t think it’s an easy topic to chat about. It’s much easier to write about changing leaves, decorating a new house or what flowers are in season on your wedding day. It’s not nearly as superficial as these topics that I easily post about. I’ve been quiet here because, well life is busy, but also because of the fight against what needs to be said. Because it is a fight. Each and every day, a fight to the death to keep your marriage alive.

When you’re first engaged, and are unsure of the first steps of planning a wedding, where do you turn? One might ask their mom, their best friend or hire a professional. There’s no shame in being uncertain of the steps needed to plan a wedding. There are articles after article posted online and hundreds of magazines and similar publications dedicated to helping people plan this one day. But it’s ONE day.

Who’s helping plan the marriage? A marriage that is FOREVER? Where are the exposés at the checkout lane promoting couples staying together, loving one another and never giving up? It’s easier to degrade your spouse then lift them up. It’s hard to admit that we don’t naturally know the secret to a successful marriage. Loving one another isn’t quite as easy as it seems because we’re all selfish people and marriage is an act of selflessness, completely giving yourself to another person. The idea of turning to an expert for help isn’t quite as socially acceptable. So we all struggle. Have days of failure. And so many couples in the end, find it much easier just to give up.

I am one teeny tiny voice in a world of so many. I have had good days of marriage and bad. But I have a voice that understands the struggle and can sympathize with the battle that is before you. So if you’ve ever read one of my articles about wedding planning, decorating a bedroom or setting a holiday table, I urge you to read up on marriage. How can I claim to be a lifestyle blogger if I won’t talk about this most important of topics? What have you done for your marriage today?

Photography: Cory Weber Photography

I wrote part of a series on our own marriage study early this year which you can read here. For more reading I recommend starting 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas and watching Ashely with Arrows & Bow’s Instagram highlights – Marriage Talk because YES to cherishing our husbands!

Justine & Devin :: The Inspiration

0 · Aug 15, 2017 ·

It’s been awhile since I’ve shared an inspiration board on here. It’s not because I haven’t been creating them, because I certainly have. They’re an amazing tool to help keep your planning on track. Sometimes the process of wedding planning can become so overwhelming and there are so many ideas out there, and directions that decor and styles can take and after a year or more of preparation for your big day, the final results can deviate so much for where you orginally wanted to be – this can be either really good or bad. I like to think of these as modern magazine clippings all compiled onto a one page summary of your day.

Photography: Samantha James Photography

On the other hand, Justine and Devin were engaged in May and wed in August (you can see their super romantic proposal story here). It was quick, and there was very little room for debating all the various design options. So we created a mood board to help set the stage and made sure that everything stayed on track with the initial concept. If something felt out of place with this “summary” their wedding day, then it was vetod and we moved on.

There’s a beautiful ballroom in downtown Flint that would play host to the day. It has thick white trim, orginal early 1900s grey and white tiled floors, marble accents and gold chairs. This was our canvas for creating. The next layer of design was the bride’s desire to add dusty blue touches and glittering sequin bridesmaids gowns. Elegant and glamorous where key discriptive words, and since she’s my sister I know her sense of style pretty well, which meant I also knew we needed to add in some frills and girly charms.

This is the condensed version of our design, as the actual design plan went on for 5 pages detailing every aspect of their glittering wedding day. There was much focus on flowers and end results were too good for words and I’ll be sharing the entire day soon.

Image sources (top to bottom, left to right): Photography: Heather Payne Photography, Bouquet: Philosophy Flowers via Team Flower Instagram | Quicksand Roses | White Majolika Roses | Gold Chiavari Chair | Helga Piaget Roses via Peterkort Roses | Photography: Heather Payne Photography, Floral Design: Philosophy Flowers via Team Flower Instagram | Minted Invitations | Faith Roses | via ModWedding

You can also see an expanded Pinterest board that helped inspire their celebration here. The results of their beautiful wedding are coming soon!

3 Tips for a Successful Marriage

0 · Jul 25, 2017 ·

Last month Josh and I celebrated 7 years of marriage. I was asked what the secret is. I don’t really think there’s a secret to making a marriage last but if I had to sum it up, I might use words like stubbornness or persistence. You have to refuse to give up, even when the going gets tough.

Before we were married, we did premarital counseling. In all the wedding planning blogs and timelines and lists of things to do after you become engaged, this little step rarely makes the list. Someday I’d really like to expand upon this subject, because it’s not nearly as scary as it sounds. In the meantime, there are three things that I remember our counselor telling us to do regularly to increase our chances of a successful marriage.

Tips for a Successful Marriagen | The Day's Design | Samantha James Photography

Photography: Samantha James Photography

Listen for 20 Minutes a Day

20 minutes of uninterrupted conversation per day is essential. It’s also nearly impossible and anyone with kids will agree. We don’t sit there with a stopwatch or anything, but we both make a point to listen to one another and share what’s on our minds each day. Communication is key to success.

Date Once a Week

7 years ago I remember thinking what an easy concept this sounded like. Once a week, we go out or stay in or do something together. Put the phones away and just spend some quality time. But through the years, it’s gotten much harder. We have busy schedules, he works full time and has passions on the side, I own a business, we have two kids under the age of 5, babysitters are expensive and often hard to come by, there are home improvement projects in the works and the list goes on.

For us, date night often is the equivalent of putting the girls to bed a half hour early and then eating dinner together, just the two of us. We might watch a movie or play games, we rarely even leave the house for our dates anymore. But that’s what works for us. And we might not actually do this once a week, but we do try to make some sort of an effort on this front. Scheduling it ahead of time so we have something to look forward to is also really helpful.

Get Away Once a Month

The last piece of this quality time equation requires you as a couple to disconnect from the outside world for 24 hours. Whether it’s an overnight stay out of town or you send the kids to grandma’s for the day, our counselor recommended planning a getaway once a month. This one is by far the hardest and we rarely follow this suggestion. We have our nights away from the girls here and there and definitely take advantage as much as possible, but we don’t’ stick to this rule. However, it think it’s still worth mentioning and maybe someday we’ll be able to get back on track with this tidbit of advice.

If you didn’t notice the pattern, spending quality time and communication is key. A marriage can’t thrive without meaningful interaction and understanding, along with the persistence to stick to these guidelines and never give up on one another. While I’m certainly not an expert on the subject, I think if your partner always remains a top priority, your chances of success are greatly increased.

Chasing Candles

0 · Jun 29, 2017 ·

This week, I’ve been on the hunt for a candle holder I found via the mysterious interwebs of technology. I say it’s mysterious, because while Google gave the results for the image and I was even able to track the photo back to the originating website, the owner of the website cannot provide me with a source for the subject of the image (which is the most amazing brass taper candle holder) and I can’t even come up with any other key words that can provide me with similar search results.

I’ve contacted companies and event florists throughout the country, all who are intrigued by my dilemma but none are able to offer me satisfactory results for my search. I have racked up hours of frustration, late night Google searches and I don’t feel like I can give up because all this effort would truly be wasted.

I love a good hunt. But this is just getting ridiculous.

As much as I love flowers, I also love illuminating them with the most perfect golden glow. Candles are one of my favorite event accessories and I pride myself I choosing the best ones for each and every tabletop I design.

Wedding Taper Candles | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography

I don’t really have a profound reason for sharing these thoughts today, but I did come across this quote that seemed appropriate for the situation and perhaps we need a dose of positivity in an often frustrating world,

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

-Buddha

We’re drawn towards a beautiful flame. Let us light one another and share joy. Just a little something mull over on this gloomy Thursday afternoon. And if you’re really interested on the candle that I’m trying to track down, it’s these gold bases (but VaseMart doesn’t actually carry them). Any tips on sourcing them would be greatly appreciated.

An Ode to Calligraphy

0 · Jan 25, 2017 ·

I’ve had dreams of many creative ventures. Some of them are fleeting, romantic notions and others have lead me to where I am today. Often I like to bite off more than I can chew, telling myself that I am more creatively adept than my natural abilities truly reflect.

It came to my attention that earlier this week we recognized national handwriting day. My first thought, “What a silly thing to celebrate”. But then I realized that this was a really beautiful thing to pay tribute to. This in my book, is a slightly more important than national donut day (which I can also easily get onboard with) or even some of the “Hallmark holidays”. This is history, art and the written language. This should be held in high regards.

Cursive writing has always fascinated me. Growing up, we had a close family friend who had the most stunning penmanship. Just to see her writing my name got me ridiculously excited. And she wrote this way every single day. It was so natural for her. I think this was probably the starting block for my love of beautiful writing.

For years I tried to emulate her talents. I’ve doodle and played with different forms of the same letter for much of my life. I used to write my name over and over and over again just to see how I could make it more striking.

Since I entered the wedding industry, my awareness of calligraphy and its beautiful form of art have been at the forefront of my mind. It makes me incredibly happy when a bride seeks out a gorgeous calligrapher for her invitations and designs. There’s a level of elegance and a timeless air that greets each guest. And romance soars.

So back to me dreaming of many creative ventures, one talent that I was convinced for a while I could someday possess is calligraphy. I have fairly decent handwriting, I love flourishes and modern scripts and somehow I convinced myself that calligraphy couldn’t really be that hard. After countless Youtube lessons, a mini session with the fabulous Molly Jacques (through Bloom the Workshop) and lots of smeared ink, I have finally concluded that I’ll leave this to the experts.

Photography: A shley Slater Photography | Invitations Suite & Calligraphy: Graceline Calligraphy | Styling: The Day’s Design

But doesn’t necessarily mean you need to do the same, I am forever going to be an advocate of handwritten addresses, even if so many invitation companies are now offering printing services free of charge. There’s something soothing about tracing a pencil across a crisp piece of white paper that typing cannot begin to compare. Curate your own pen and even if only for the sake of proper communication, learn how to write legibly. Sometimes it’s the smallest touches that add the most pleasure and let others know that you truly care. I think my friend Ciarra at Silver Fox Calligraphy says it best,

“To me, calligraphy should not be about what etiquette dictates, or what will make your stationary seem luxurious. It is about adding a beautiful thoughtful touch, to add soul to your stationary”.

The above invitation was from Jarvie & Hank’s Lake Leelanau wedding, you can see the entire celebration here.

Real Weddings :: Jarvie & Hank’s Leelanau Wedding

0 · Jan 9, 2017 ·

I know I promised this wedding would be posted Friday. But something that I have learned is life is unpredictible and so is your internet service when you live in the country. I’m trying to cut myself a little slack in 2017 and not get so up tight about little hiccups such as this. Plus this wedding is definitely worth the wait.

If you know me at all, then you know that Lake Leelanau holds the key to my heart. So for that reason alone, I could dub this wedding one of my favorites of all times. But then I get to add in a beautiful vineyard, gorgeous watercolors and calligraphy and stunning film photography and this wedding alone just about made my year. Not to mention how incredibly fun, authentic and just wonderful people that Jarvie, Hank and their families really are.

The story started a little year prior to their wedding, we began searching for the perfect location to host their Northern Michigan celebration. It was my first tour of Aurora Cellars and right away I knew it was special. Thankfully, Jarvie and Hank recognized it too. We took a chance on a tented space that was just a sketch and a farmhouse that was still pink.

Throughout the planning process, the theme stayed the same. There was a focus on simplicity, with a clean and organic feel, a Northern Michigan vibe with a Tuscan twist, however still wanting all of their Chicago friends to feel right at home.

A slight kiss of pink accented the mainly white day, so we brought in some California roses and luscious pink peonies and displayed them as many places as possible. Jarvie found she had a hidden love for calligraphy, so Graceline was hired to address everything from her save-the-date envelopes to her custom invitations and all the signage in between.

June 18^th arrived with a sun beaming bright in the sky and the smiles were contagious throughout the vineyard. The guests were greeted with refreshing lemonade and ushered through the vines to the ceremony site. Cocktails and Aurora’s divine wine waited near the farmhouse on the lawn. And dinner & dancing took place under a pristine white tent.

And the evening ended with a most glorious Leelanau sunset. I would plan every wedding on the peninsula for that reason alone.

If you’d like to see more behind the planning of Jarvie & Hank’s wedding, you can see some of the inspiration and details that when into the design here.

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Should Friends be Vendors at Your Wedding?

0 · Dec 6, 2016 ·

I’m having flashbacks to the time that was a wedding planner, floral designer, did 4 heads of hair and was the matron of honor all on the same day. That’s multitasking at its finest.

As someone who has the professional abilities to do all of these things – even professionally style hair – I can’t say I whizzed through this day flawlessly. In fact, it was really stressful and I definitely thought I was going to lose it at a couple points. This was my sister’s wedding – it had to be perfect! I simply wouldn’t have it any other way. You could also interpret that as, I’ll be hearing about the results from my family for the rest of my life, so they better be good.

Should Friends be Vendors at Your Wedding | The Day's Design | Samantha James Photography

Photography: Samantha James Photography

You may skip quickly to the end of this post to read my verdict, should your friends/family be vendors at your wedding? Spoiler alert, I’m not going to completely answer that question. I think the role you’re asking them to play and the current standing relationship with said friend has a lot to do with the answer. As someone who has been hired as a vendor for family and friend’s weddings as well as a bride who has hired friends, here’s my two cents worth of wisdom.

Consider Your Working Relationship

Some people work really well together. Other’s butt heads a little more. Just because you’re amazing friends doesn’t mean you always see eye to eye. If you think it’s going to be more stress than it’s worth, save both of you some hard feelings and simply explain that you’re hiring someone else so the friend can be fully present and celebrate the occasion rather than working on your wedding day.

Only hire vendors that you feel fully confident in working with and who completely fit your overall vision.

Is this Friend Invited to the Wedding?

We hear the term “friendor” and tend to automatically assume that this would be someone who would naturally fall on the guest list. However, this might not be the case. Maybe you know said person, but clearly you can’t invite everyone you’ve ever met to your wedding. When weddings are really small, I love including vendors that you know and can have sit at the dinner table and converse naturally with. This is nice at larger weddings too, but small weddings are just so much more intimate and that adds another layer of warmth to the day. However, if they are someone who you were going to invite regardless of whether or not they’re hired for the day, then you need to continue reading on.

Will They Miss the Celebration?

If said friend or family member is too busy working, they might actually miss the wedding or at least the celebratory tone of the day. When I was matron of honor for my sister, I said that after 11:00 am, I was strictly a bridesmaid and refused to do more planning or floral duties beyond that point. It didn’t completely work out that way, but I felt I had to at least set a few boundaries for myself or I’d be working all day and night, which I was determined not to do.

If you’re asking a friend to do a more minor task, such as great guests, hand out programs or even officiate the wedding, this can be a really nice and personal touch that still allows them to focus on the vows and ceremony of the day.

Is it Even Possible?

I once had a bride tell me she was considering having one of her bridesmaids be her photographer because that’s what she did for a living. While I’m sure her portfolio was stunning, I strongly advised the bride against this. First off, they would most certainly miss the celebration. And secondly, I couldn’t even fathom how that could possibly work without her cloning herself so she could be in two places at once – behind the camera and in the bridal party portraits. Consider their role both as a guest and as a vendor and how the two will both conflict and actually work quite smoothly together (i.e. – both roles require them to be in the same place and time).

While there’s certainly no way that I could imagine having another floral designer work on my sister’s wedding, I took the overall flow and schedule of the day into deep consideration, knowing that I could begin decorating and setting up the night before and as early as 6:00 am on the actual wedding day. Without the flexibility, it would have been extremely difficult for me to juggle all of the tasks I had on my plate and I would have needed to subcontract additional help or sacrifice sacred time with my family.

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When Should You Carry Your Bridal Bouquet?

3 · Nov 15, 2016 ·

It seems like a pretty straight forward question and answer. As a bride, you have a bouquet and as a floral designer, I’m going to encourage you to have flowers around you as often as possible. But even with something as simple as a bridal bouquet, there are logistics and moments of practicality to consider and moments that you might truly want to have it by your side, even if you hadn’t previously thought about it.

When to Carry Your Bridlal Bouqet | The Day's Design | Bradley James Photography

Photography: Samantha James Photography

Getting Ready Photos

I like to drop off the bouquets sometime during the getting ready process rather than having the bouquets waiting at the ceremony location. I do this for a couple of reasons. First off, many photographers like to photograph the bouquet right away, along with the other accessories. So many of the photographers I work with start the day off with “detail shots” – meaning photographing the bride’s jewelry, veil, shoes and dress before she puts it on. The bouquet normally falls into this category and also adds some extra charm into these pictures. Secondly, bridal party pictures with maids in matching robes and fun styled photos like this have gained so much popularity in recent years and often bouquets are also incorporated in as well. And thirdly, if you’re doing a first look, sometimes locations have been known to change last minute due to weather or lighting or perhaps even running behind schedule. Having your bouquet there and ready for you makes one less detail that needs to be re-coordinated if there should be a timeline modification.

First Look

I am a huge advocate for having flowers with the bride for this moment. And I know not everyone agrees with me on this issue, but so much time, care and money spent on choosing the perfect blooms (or floral designer to choose the perfect flowers) and this is a highly photographed time so I think it’s only right that said blooms should be treasured and held in the bride’s hands. Furthermore, immediately following the first look is usually a small photo session of just the two of you and I really believe you’ll want your flowers accessible for this.

Wedding Party Pictures

Again, this seems obvious but the bride and her maids should have handfuls of blooms readily available for when their time in front of the camera arrives. A couple of helpful hints with this – make sure vases of water are kept nearby and certainly make sure the entire bridal party is aware of all the happenings of the day so they’ll know to keep their bouquets handy for the most important moments of the day. One of the most common questions I hear from the bridesmaids on a wedding day is whether or not they need their bouquet at any particular time and it can be challenging to communicate this especially with larger wedding parties.

The Ceremony

Smack me on the forehead and say “duh!” right now, because we all know the bride carries a bouquet during the wedding ceremony. But the reason I bring this up is because often with modern timelines of the day (i.e. – doing first look and all bridal party pictures prior to the actual wedding), this becomes one of the last opportunities for the bouquet to be photographed however most brides find it the most important and they’re fearful that it will be wilted from all the activity earlier in the day. In all honesty, this time isn’t normally about photographing flowers, and your guests notice your bouquet but don’t dwell on it. This is the time to capture emotion and focus on the sanctity of marriage. This is the time for you and your groom to shine, accessorized by the décor but not overshadowed by it.

Sunset Photos

Yes yes yes! Of course you need to see your flowers shining in that glorious golden light. But if you’re thinking you’re just over carrying the bouquet around all day, I encourage you to take it along anyway. You don’t have to hold it for every single picture, but I think you’ll be glad that you have it within reach for at least a few.

If all of the above holds true, you’ve just held your bouquet out of water for nearly 4 hours or more on what might be a really hot day. Here are a couple of extra tips for you to make sure that your flowers stay at the peak of perfection for as long as possible.

Keep a vase of water nearby, for both you and your maids. Replace the flowers into the vases whenever you have a break from photos – touching up makeup, groomsmen photos, etc. Do not just ditch the bouquets on a nearby table and do try to find a shady spot.
To help with that first tip – have each bridesmaid carry her own vase of water (which I’m sure it was delivered in) or if possible, designated one person to carry the entire box or basket of vases (I always deliver mine in a basket with easy carry handles). Transport that box/basket with you from getting ready location to photos to ceremony. This is a great job for that extra person who really wanted to be involved with your wedding but you just couldn’t find the perfect task for.
Appreciate the beauty while it lasts. Many of my favorite flowers actually shine the brightest in the moments before death. They open the fullest, find the perfect drape and shout romance. Embrace the fact that your bouquet will not look exactly the same at the end of the night as it did upon delivery. And that’s okay, it’s just the beauty of nature.

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Why I’m Excited to Plan a Wedding in Flint, Michigan

0 · Aug 3, 2016 ·

I grew up in a small town 13 miles north of Flint, Michigan. While I realize that I’m not “from” Flint – it was not the city on my mailing address or where I went to school – it still has the draw of home. It was my stomping grounds. That’s where I went to Meijer, Target and the mall. The Vehicle City provided a small town girl with the conveniences that weren’t available in a town with an urban population 2,500 people. My Grandpa worked at GM as did many of my friends’ parents. And since most people aren’t familiar with the town of Clio, for the first 18 years of life instead of giving a geography lesson, Flint is where I claimed to be from.

The stories of Flint’s decline are prevalent. I’ve never been okay with the tale of a dying city, crumbling structures and lost history. I cannot stand it when someone tears down a historic home or leaves a stunning old building standing in decay. New is not better! And when it hits this close to home, it’ all the worse. Between the closing of the factories, the increased crime rates and now the undrinkable water, the future of Flint seems hopeless.

But I’m excited to plan a wedding there.

Yes, I am planning a wedding in Downtown Flint. And I am excited. The prospect of bringing something beautiful to a dismal place is a symbol of hope. There is a least one gorgeous venue in the area which holds so much history. William C. Durant is credited for founding General Motors. The Durant Hotel was named in his honor. After years of a vacant existence, the landmark building has been restored. What was once a symbol of prominence and success, is again a beautiful vision of the potential the city still holds. In its heyday, it was known for its luxury accommodations, events and grand ballroom. The building’s smaller ballroom still holds its original spender and will host my sister’s wedding next week.

Once again, I’m going to tell you how excited I am for my sister’s wedding. But this post isn’t about her, it’s about the city that she chose to be wed in. And I’m sure she’s not romancing this declining city the way I am, but I’m still glad she chose to have a wedding near home. We looked at venues across the state, she didn’t hold any loyalties to the area. But in a really, really small way, I feel like we’re helping. Business is staying local. Every dollar counts. I love supporting local and hometown efforts.

It’s also been a welcomed challenge. Do you ever try to look at the world around you in a different way? I’ve been forced to see the beauty as well as the decay. I want to think about what it would have been like to be one of the original residents in the area. I can only imagine an era of carriages turned to horseless automobliles in a scenic city along a beautiful river. Somehow, I feel like we’re telling their side of the story. We’re honoring their history. Just picture the 1920s scene of a lavish woman parading proudly down the street in a proper long gown and a dapper gent on her arm. Next week, that scene will come to life once more.

Wedding in Flint Michigan | The Day's Design | Samantha James Photography

Photography: Samantha James Photography

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How to Work with a Wedding Planner :: Part 3 :: The Event Designer

0 · May 16, 2016 ·

Welcome back to our little working with a wedding planner series. If you need a recap before you fulling plunge into part 3, you can read part 1 and 2 here and here. And now moving forward with all the pretty details…

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography | Floral Design: The Day’s Design

What in the world is an event designer? The term is a little foreign and if you thought it was hard for people to understand the difference between a wedding planner and a coordinator – tell them you’re an event designer. It’ll blow their mind.

Technically, an event designer isn’t a wedding planner at all, they’re a visual planner. Think interior designer, for a wedding. That’s the best way I have to describe it. When people hire me for this, it’s purely cosmetic. Think all things aesthetically pleasing on the wedding day. There really isn’t a clear cut line on what all this entails, it’s more of a case by case plan. But generally speaking I’m going to meet with the bride and groom, discuss feelings, moods, color palettes, favorite flowers and more. Then I’m going to go home and lay in bed that night dreaming about all the fancy details we discussed. And then, my pen is going to hit the paper.

I love sketching out these ideas, playing with flower combinations and coordinating linens to the room layouts. I daydream about ceremony backdrops, café lights and chandeliers. I agonize over vessels for your centerpieces and coordinating votive holders. I’ll make sure that the napkins fold just right and show off the custom stationary we commissioned. The décor options are absolutely endless. I can list off 10 different chair options right off the top of my head and where to get each of them.

So once I’ve done my research on what is actually possibly, works with your budget and isn’t just a wild dream of mine, I put it down on paper and send it to my clients. They approve parts of it and often things get tweaked a touch here or there. But once it’s all to their liking, I get to work sourcing all the pieces to make it happen.

Some of the work I will do myself. I will create massive floral arches, moss and floral photo backdrops and let you rent my taper candle holders. But sometimes I have to outsource certain projects. It could be due to lack of resources, time or even know how. I will subcontract vendors to make this happen. It’s really nothing that my clients need to get involved in, I’ll sign the contract myself and add it to my invoice. I have little clause in my contract projecting me if one of the wedding guests sets fire to a $100 linen or breaks a chair, my client will be held responsible. And I also ask my clients to cover rentals that are over a certain dollar amount but I still work on my clients behalf handling the arranging of those services.

When it comes to the actual wedding day, I’ll be there. I’ll be directing all the vendors that I hired. But I won’t deal with the logistics or help manage your timeline. I’ll be focusing solely on the visual aspects, making sure that every flower is perfectly placed and that beautiful arbor isn’t going to blow over during the ceremony. It’s even possible that I’ll be gone before the bride ever sees the reception and I may not see her reaction to the space in person.

Dear Vendors: if I’m renting from you or working with you as an Event Designer, you’ll probably never meet my clients. I’ll fill you in on the relevant details of the wedding and you’ll most likely hold onto my credit card number. All communications will go through me and I’m technically your client.

Dear Clients: Trust that I’ve found you the best place for your chiavari chairs and all those floral extras are going to happen because I have flower friends who are amazing and willing to lend a hand. I have spent countless hours shopping and researching and making sure everything is top notch just for you. Sometimes that means that the sofa you wanted to rent lands on my final bill, making my service price seem a little crazy. But trust me, I’ll be so worth it in the end.

How to Work with a Wedding Planner :: Part 2 :: Day-of Coordinator

0 · May 4, 2016 ·

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography | Floral Design: The Day’s Design

As my business has evolved, I usually only coordinate weddings that I’ve also done the florals or some aspect of design for. This wasn’t always the case, I used to do coordination or event management for the day as a standalone service. So I’m writing this post as if you were hiring me for that unaccompanied help – since we really are trying to single out the Wedding Coordinator’s role in the overall vision of the wedding.

This is purely speculation, but I think this is probably the most commonly hired wedding planning service. Couples are given some professional guidance without relinquishing control or loosing too much from their pocketbooks. While they aren’t necessarily contracted to do so, most Day-of Coordinators will give some tips on etiquette share their favorite vendors with you. After all, it’s in there benefit for the couple to hire a photographer that coordinator loves and makes their life a whole lot easier if you don’t hire that caterer who is terrible at communications. I always say, I’d rather that you come to me instead of asking Mr. Google.

The process of working with me as your Day-of Coordinator typically works like this: the bride and groom hire me. Sometimes this is the first thing they do, other times it happens in a panic three months before the wedding. Either way, I won’t really start talking in more depth about the wedding until about 6-8 weeks before hand. We’ll walk through what the couple has planned for the day, how they envision everything, chat about a brief day of timeline, locations for things such as the guest book, placecards and the cake table. If at all possible, I try to visit the venue together. Then I’ll get a complete list of vendors hired by the couple. I’ll address any concerns I have logistically or otherwise and then I’ll get to work.

My first task is filling in the gaps on the itinerary. Details like ceremony and reception start time aren’t up for discussion. But often no one knows what time the caterer is planning on arriving or when the tables and chairs will be set up so the florist can place her flowers (or when I can place the centerpiece if I’m also your floral designer). If no one has told the baker what time she should arrive with the cake, it might end up sitting out all day and we’ll end up with a big pile of melted buttercream. We want to make sure that pertinent events are scheduled during the time that the photographer is contracted to work. Coordination of these details is absolutely necessary and I fill in all those holes, working on arrival times, traffic flow and general order of the day – things that the bride shouldn’t be worrying about while she’s off having her hair and makeup done the morning of the big day.

Dear Vendors: Your first contact with me will be a nice little introductory email asking if you have any concerns, special setup needs or any lingering questions that haven’t been clarified quite yet. I’ll do everything within my power to address those and a couple weeks prior to the wedding, when all these details have been confirmed with each and every one of you, I’ll send along a copy of the finalized itinerary and contact information – important phone numbers, addresses and anything else I think you might possibly need on the wedding day. Yes, that itinerary will be chucked full of information that you might not think you need, but I think over informed is much better than under.

On the actual wedding day, I try to interrupt the bride and groom as little as possible and ask that you do the same. Please be respectful of what they hired me to do and address me first with questions or concerns. I don’t have all the answers, but normally I have a few.

Dear Clients: You can make this process go smoothly by being up front with those hired vendors about my existence right from the start. Give them my email and cell phone number, that’s excellent and telling them that I’ve authorized to make decisions on your behalf is even better. As for me, I ask that you let me know the person that you’ve been in most contact with. I’d like to know all previously arranged details and if you feel inclined to cc me in on emails or forward contracts my way, that’s perfect. This gives me a little leverage when the limo driver shows up a half hour late to pick you up from the church. But so we’re clear on things, I don’t address why things when wrong on the wedding day – we can figure that out later – my goal is moving forward to solve the problem. Please don’t ask me to focus on the negative on your wedding day.

And one more little reminder – the term Wedding Planner and Day-of Coordinator are NOT interchangeable.

In case you missed it, you can read Part 1 of this series here.

3 Tips for Planning Rustic Weddings

0 · Apr 12, 2016 ·

I originally wrote this post a couple months ago as part of my monthly guest feature over on Simply Blue Weddings. It was titled “3 Mistakes Couples Make When Planning Rustic Weddings”. But after it when live, I felt bad. I had just posted something really negative and it bothered me.

So today, I’m sharing it here on my personal blog, but I’ve reworked it a bit, shedding a more positive light on the subject. Here are some things you should do to make sure that you’re rustic celebration is just as fabulous as you always dreamed it would be.

Quicksand Rose | Rustic Wedding Planning Tips | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography | Styling & Floral Design: The Day’s Design | Calligraphy: Wondrous Whimsy

Properly Define Rustic

What does rustic mean to you? In the wedding industry, it seems any celebration that doesn’t take place in a formal ballroom (and even some that do) can easily be defined as rustic. However, these seem to be three different type of “rustic” bride that I most normally come across.

There’s shabby, vintage and sometimes even a little dirty “rustic”. This bride includes décor choices that you might generally associate with a barn wedding. Perhaps horse saddles, wooden crates, vintage table numbers and burlap accents.

Then there’s outdoorsy rustic. Think almost woodland wedding or even more nautical style. Birch bark, tree stumps and mossy touches might be mixed in. You could also incorporate antlers, sand or outdoor activities that the couple enjoy together. This is where natural lovers rejoice.

Finally, there’s the girl who describes her day as rustic elegance. She dreams of a touch of sophistication paired with wide open spaces. Think gold flatware against a raw wooden table. Everything stays sleek and refined while complimenting a slightly more relaxed mood.

And of course there’s a hybrid of any of the above which makes every day extremely unique.

Choose the Right Venue

Michigan is home to a countless number of barns, wineries and other outdoor spaces that lend themselves so well towards this style of gathering. With such a plethora of earthy spaces, I think that’s why we tend to assume that everyone getting married with a loose bouquet of wildflowers is search of that casual vibe. However, we mustn’t forget that there are many hotel ballrooms, elegant restaurants and rental halls that also can host amazing events. And not all of them pair well with burlap, wooden crates or nautical rope décor. Make sure that your venue provides the right backdrop and sets the perfect tone for you wedding day.

Don’t Assume that Planning will be Simple

I hear it all the time, I want a simple wedding day. Don’t we all? Does anyone want their day to be an overly complicated nightmare?? The fact of the matter is, regardless of the style or theme of your wedding day, you’re still inviting guests, they still need invitations, chairs, tables, linens, food, centerpieces, transportation and about a 100 other details that go into the planning of a successful event. Oh and you thought it would cost less because it’s a rustic wedding? While there might be a few details that become more casual and you could possibly skip out on the draping or extremely tall formal centerpieces, but that greenery garland and beautiful compote centerpiece is still cost money. And the price tag on your flank steak is the same whether you serve it in a fancy ballroom or on a tented hillside.

I love working in casual elegance as well as grander ballrooms. I think that’s one of the reasons that I love what I do so much, I get to meet a variety of people, working in different atmosphere and am never limited on my creativity. Each wedding as is individual as the couple planning it.

Shelby signature

Looking for more wedding planning tips? Read my guest feature over on Simply Blue Weddings the second Thursday of each month.

Wedding Planning Services

0 · Jan 8, 2016 ·

Wedding Planner Services | Job Description | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography

Somewhere between pretentious corporate event planner and “I planned my sister’s wedding so now I’m an event planner” – on the side, is where you’ll find me… with a bouquet of flowers in my hands. I am a small business owner and boutique wedding planner, specializing in one of kind celebrations. I have a degree in event planning – or as close as I could get (Bachelors of Science in Hospitality and Tourism Management with an emphasis is Event Planning – yes, that’s a mouthful). I plan, design and floralize weddings for a living.

However for me, business isn’t really about the title, it’s about being able to do what I love. While The Day’s Design didn’t necessarily start with flowers, it was born out of my love for design. Pulling together all the individual details for a wedding and forming one cohesive event makes me so happy. I love finding the perfect napkin that matches your invitation that pairs perfectly with your bridesmaids dress.

FLORAL DESIGN

But often the element that speaks loudest in that design scheme is the flowers and since I am so passionate about this aspect too, they naturally became part of my service offerings. They are a tangible component that everyone can see. The floral selection for any event says a lot about a person and the impact is huge. This is what draws most people to my work. And then we bond because they fancy blooms almost as much as I do.

I can’t seem to quench this thirst for floral knowledge. Colors, varieties and bouquet shapes fill my imagination…

WEDDING DESIGN

At times, the conversation ends with flowers, but more often it continues on, circling back to that design discussion and dreaming of all the decorative possibilities from escort card displays to making sure each place setting is arranged with a perfectly graceful ribbon draped on top. My sketch pad is full of doodles from blooms, to ribbons to invitations and the possibilities are endless. My creative mind is always on a wild quest for more. We’ll fashion an entire mood board and sketch out designs for the day. Together, we’ll visualize all the various details, big or small, and the roles they play in the overall tone of your wedding. If you hire me to design your wedding, I’ll be a part of every aesthetic facet working with your other creative vendors and then onsite that morning making sure that everything is perfectly placed and spotless. I may even help your photographer style a few photos if our paths should happen to cross and your timeline allows.

EVENT MANAGEMENT/DAY OF COORDINATION

Since I am there anyway, event management becomes a natural step for me to take. It’s a little more work for me on the front end of things (with a stellar team of assistants in tow), but so worth it to any bride who is considering whether or not to do everything herself. I’ll help build the entire itinerary for the day, making sure there’s a planned arrival time for each and every vendor. You won’t have to worry about whether or not the cake was delivered or the linens are set on your tables in time for the caterer to begin their part. The bridal party will know where they’re supposed to be and when to start walking down the aisle and I’ll straighten out your train before your grand entrance. Concerns about whether the photographer is in the room when the best man makes his toast or when husband and wife dance for the first time are eliminated as it will all be scheduled and well thought out, flowing as if it were all just naturally meant to happen.

FULL SERVICE WEDDING PLANNING

Then there’s the bride that needs help from the very beginning. The number of inspiring vendors in her area seems daunting and the idea of figuring out a budget is tedious. I become the friend that’s planned a million weddings and a liaison between practical, glam, organic and what your mother wants. I’m the voice of reason and inspiration, guiding the couple through each step of the planning process. Our journey together may begin with a location, a venue, finding the perfect caterer, tasting cakes or drinking champagne after he first proposed. Having a wedding planner doesn’t mean that you lose out on planning your wedding, but rather you have an experienced hand helping you along the way and any dull tasks that you don’t want to do, you can have someone else take care of. Everything stays orderly, on schedule and remains fun, after all wedding planning is supposed to be fun. It’s a celebration!

Regardless of contracted services, each couple is special to me. Each event is one of a kind and deserves its own contemplation and creativity. Being engaged is a once in a lifetime experience and I want to make it the very best for you. But most importantly, I wish all of my clients a marriage far more beautiful than any wedding I could ever help to create.

Shelby signature

When it’s More than Just Cold Feet (Part 2)

0 · Oct 29, 2015 ·

Photography: Bradley James Photography

Returning gifts, cancelling plans, pleading with vendors for a refund, thousands of dollars lost, returning your ring – cancelling your wedding is a horrid chapter of life and a very humbling moment in your story. After my last post, someone mentioned how proud I should be that I was able to make the right choice. It was hard to think of it in that light. It was much easier to feel embarrassed that I had made the wrong decision in the first place, it was easier to wonder why I had never seen what a poor match we were before. When outsiders asked how the wedding planning was going, I was ashamed to say that all planning had ceased. “We called it off.” Those words pierced me.

I felt like a lost soul. I had to re-find my single self and remember who I was without him. And that might have been one of the biggest challenges of all.

Skipping forward – how do you know this is the man your supposed to marry? That’s the question I left you with at the conclusion of Tuesday’s post. That was a question that ran through my mind for a long time. I lost a little trust in myself. I felt like my instincts were now off. I could never let something like this happen again.

All I can speak of is my own experience. But for me, there wasn’t even a shadow of a doubt that floated into my mind when the right proposal came along.

In my broken engagement, I prayed for a sign. I prayed for a closed door if this wasn’t the direction my life was supposed to go. Be careful what you pray for. A huge sign came crashing down on me and was so obvious there was not a chance I could ignore it. In my current relationship, of course I prayed for guidance but it wasn’t a scary plea. It wasn’t a prayer born out of fear, it was a prayer of wisdom and care and thankfulness.

So how did I know that I’d met the man I was supposed to marry? Everything was just different. The overall aura of the relationship was unique to any other bond I had experienced. And I might not have recognized that without my past misfortunes. There was a calmness and peace. There was a security and my self-doubt seemed to fade away. I didn’t feel like I had lost myself with him, but rather I was able to be myself. My past heartbreak gave me the confidence to move forward. I now knew what I wanted and who I wanted to be. And most importantly, I knew who I wanted to have standing beside me as I strived to be that person.

There is a happy ending on the road ahead.

“Don’t rush into love, because even in fairytales the happy ending takes place on the last page”. – author unknown

The Problem with Percentages

0 · Oct 6, 2015 ·

As I was scribbling down that title I couldn’t help but think anyone who has a distaste for math is surely going to want to read this. And of course they’ll agree, percentages are tricky and problematic. However, this is not a full on math lecture just a little advice when it comes to wedding planning.

I’ve come to the point in my season where weddings are winding down the planning is gearing up for next year. As my first consults begin, we chat about things like overall style, favorite colors and flowers, locations, priorities, fantasies, crazy proposal stories and my least favorite part of the conversation – budgets. It seems there are a couple of very common scenarios that I run into while talking numbers with couples. 1. They have an overall number in mind but have very little clue as to how that money should be allocated and how much things in “wedding land” cost. Or 2. They have pulled a budget worksheet from The Knot or Weddingwire or similar and know exactly what they’re willing to spend in each area based on the website’s recommendations.

There is nothing wrong with either one of these situations. It’s tricky to know what things cost when you’ve never planned a wedding before. I think these sample budget sheets from the various website are really helpful guidelines. But they’re just that – a guide. And they’re usually made up of percentages. The problem is the website doesn’t know your exact needs. They don’t know that you can decrease your rental amount because the venue provides super amazing chairs – chairs that also made the venue itself more expensive. They also don’t typically take into consideration the number of guests. For example – if you’re budget is $50,000, it’s recommended that approximately 30% of that budget be allocated to food and food services. If you’re inviting 300 guests, that works out to $50 per person. This includes appetizers, salads, entrees and service staff fees and gratuities. If you have a smaller wedding of around 75 guests, you’ll be spending $200 per person on their meal. Depending upon your menu selections and formality of the event, that might seem a little excessive. In the case of the smaller guest count I may recommending using some of those monies elsewhere.

The same holds true with flowers and décor. Usually about 8-12% is allotted for this part of the budget. However, fewer guests means few tables. On the flip side, the more guests you have the more centerpieces you’ll need, meaning you might not be able to do some of those extra floral showpieces you were hoping for or you might have to adjust the percentages of your budget.
So what doesn’t change with guest count? There are certain fixed costs within the planning process. Think photography, music, venue rentals and officiant fees – all necessary items that typically don’t fluctuate with the guest count.

And what if you can’t find someone who’s pricing fits within that allotted percentage? Photography can sometimes be the biggest struggle here. It’s pretty rare that I hear a bride mention that she doesn’t care about the photographer. It’s more often the case that they want the best that they can find within their budget. However, with smaller budget weddings you might have to up the percentage of that funds you’re willing to spend in this area. This is an area I truly feel that you get what you pay for and it’s the lasting memories from your day.

Prioritize. That’s my biggest piece of advice. Use these percentages as a guide but if you want the more expensive band verse a DJ, go for it. Just remember to adjust other areas of the budget accordingly, perhaps eliminated the custom invitations for premade or have your place cards and escort cards do double duty. And theirs your accounting lesson for the day. Problem solved.

Photography: Heather Cisler Photography

How to RSVP for a Wedding

0 · Aug 26, 2015 ·

This might seem like a silly post. Everyone knows how to RSVP for a wedding, right? It seems so obvious. But oddly enough, it’s been one of my biggest battles this year – gathering the guest count!

Photography: Bradley James Photography

So here we go – whether you’re a bride sending out those precious invites or just something planning (or not planning) to attend a summer soirée, here’s what you need to know about that little card inserted within the invitation, commonly known as the RSVP card.

To start, I strongly believe that RSVPs should be done through the mail. You’re not saving yourself any time by accepting them via email, Facebook messages, text, etc. You already receive enough emails regarding your wedding and you’re not always near someplace to track the RVSP if you collect those via phone/text. Purchase the cute little card that matches your invitation. Then make sure that it’s address to where ever you’d like these little RSVPs to arrive – your house, your parent’s home… whoever is going to be responsible and keep them in a safe place. Put a stamp on it. Make it easy and convenient for your guests.

Near the top of an RSVP should be a date. This is the date that it is due to be returned by. Place it in the mail prior to this date. This is so the bride and groom can collect final counts for not only the caterer, but the number of tables and chairs that need to be rented, the number of centerpieces needed, the number of programs, menu cards, favors and desserts. And after that data is all processed, they can then begin the daunting task of table assignments. If you RSVP late, your run the risk of being unfed and shoved at the “reject table”.

Under that date is a line. That line typically starts with an “M”. It looks something like this:

M______________

I cannot count the number of times that I’ve been asked about this “M”. That “M” is just a starting point, it might stand for Mr. or Mrs., Miss or Madame – fill in the rest of the blank however you’d like the be addressed. Some modern invitations eliminate the “M” and just leave a blank line or perhaps they say “Guest Names” which is really specific for you. Whatever it says, make sure that somewhere on that card is your name and the names of those who will be attending with you. If you do not put your name on the card, they cannot track who the RSVP came from and you will be bothered later with a phone call wondering why you have not responded to the wedding invite.

Entrée selection. This might be listed on the RSVP card but it might not. It just depends on what is being served and whether or not the guest has a choice. For the purpose of this article, we’re going to say that the guest is being given a choice of entrée. That means you must choose one – one for each guest RSVPing. So that means if there are 4 names on the card, there should be 4 entrees selected. Bonus points for letting us know who is eating which entrée (initials or something similar is extremely helpful), otherwise you might be playing the switch-a-roo game later.

We changed our minds. It happens. But realize that this is an inconvenience. If you’re no longer attending, the bride and groom may have already paid for your meal, set an extra seat, paid the calligrapher to create you a tag, etc. If you decided to attend afterall – the bride and groom now have to get in touch will all of these various people and make sure that they can squeeze you in at a table somewhere. To be a good guest, make a decision and stick with it.

Everyone must RSVP. That’s right, EVERYONE. If you received an invitation, it included a card with an envelope that already had a stamp on it. Don’t waste that stamp, send it back to the bride and groom. Even if you’re the mother of the bride or best man, don’t assume that they know you’re coming. The bride and groom might not be the ones tallying up the RSVP cards – they may have delegated that to a bridesmaid, sister or wedding planner who will not know to assume that you’ll be there. And they definitely won’t know what you want to eat or how many are in your party.

And finally, only the people who were clearly listed on the addressed envelope should be attending. If the outer envelope is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. Then there are 2 people invited, only 2. I don’t care that it’s an out of town wedding and that you have to travel with your 6 kids, those 6 kids were not invited. Don’t hassle the bride and groom, it’s their decision and I’m sure it wasn’t made lightly and there are probably lots of reasons unknown to you as to why your children were not invited. If the children are invited, it will say on the invitation Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family or it will specifically name the children who are invited. Children who are over 18 or not living in the same household will be sent a separate invitation.

So brides, there’s the detailed info on how to create and send the RSVPs. And guests, make it easy on those brides, they’ve got a lot on their plate – return those cards properly filled out.

Adventures of Kitty & BFF

0 · Aug 6, 2015 ·

Coordination is the name of the game. I have been up to my eyeballs in details lately. I have organized my little heart out. Typed lists for vendors. Written lists for baby sitters. Jammed 22 centerpieces, 8 bouquets, 4 crates, table numbers, suitcases, emergency kits and more into my tiny little Tahoe. I have coordinated 3 different baby sitters, packed bottles, blankies and formula. I have outlined wedding day timelines and Willa June’s feeding schedule. I packed an emergency kit and emergency snacks for Gretta. Cell phones, Walkie Talkies and car keys all come along for the ride (all to be misplaced an outrageous number of times throughout any given day). Dog sitters, nannies, Grandmas and husband keep life on track at home. I’ve bought more greenhouse plants, made emergency trips to the flower market and dealt with more humidity and wind related issues that I ever care to sweat about again. My mantra through it all – “Someone can plan the perfect event, but it certainly isn’t me”. Truth.

I’m always preparing for the unexpected. I warn every client that something – be it big or small – will go wrong on their wedding day. There’s always a hiccup in the plan. You’re hiring me to manage that glitch.

I’ve just about reached that half way mark throw the wedding season. And to be honest, I’m ready for a teeny break and think it’s time for a bit of comic relief. This is where my bff is always sure to deliver. Friends always know what you need, don’t they? So without further ado, let me tell you about the detail that I failed to consider and definitely did not coordinate.

It was about 11:30 pm the night before my Traverse City wedding. I, for once, found myself already in bed, preparing to get a good night’s sleep prior to tomorrow’s busy wedding day. I then received this text, “I found the Caption”. Confused, I didn’t respond right away. {Caption = the extremely offensive and not even close to being politically correct abbreviated term of endearment we use for our cat, Caption Retard}

The message was then follow up with a screen shot that read, “Ugh, I don’t know what to do. I can’t find her. Went under the deck… treats not working!”

The came my husband’s reply “Hmmm… You can try my toothbrush. It’s an electric one in the bathroom closet. Every night when I brush my teeth she comes running and tries to nuzzle it… Kinda weird, I know. But, could work?”

Let me paint this picture for you. My bff was at my house watching the girls for a brief moment before Grandma came to pick them up. Upon their departure, she helped herself to a glass of wine and made herself to home. During this time, Nelly (our cat’s real name) figured out how to open the screen door and let herself outside. When discovering this, my extremely allergic, cat hating bff searches in desperation and runs circles around our house crying out “Kitty” (because no one ever remembers her real name) with a toothbrush in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. All to no avail.

Moral of the story? Plan for everything, you never know what wedding day shenanigans might take place… and lock the screen door. The scenario still has me laughing. And Nelly is now safe, back at home.

Silence on the Social Front

0 · Jul 22, 2015 ·

It saddens me that nearly a month has passed since my last post. I love blogging. I love sharing tidbits, advice and thoughts about weddings and life in general with all my amazing readers. So when busy takes over and I cannot find a moment to clear my head, write a sentence or much less format a post that’s worth reading, I find myself a little depressed.

It all comes down to priorities. I’m still dreaming of flowers, ribbons and foraging for the most perfect accents for each and every bridal bouquet. I am scheming up designs, laying out floor plans, creating flower recipes and timelines. But being a wedding planner is a selfless profession. It takes an enormous amount of dedication to each and every couple. It’s their needs that are put first, not my own. While I try to find balance in as many places as I possibly can, I always know that my clients come first. It’s their once in a lifetime experience that’s important, not my need to share what I’m up to with the world.

To the outside world, when things become quiet on the social media front it appears that we are doing nothing, we’re not busy and have little to share. To anyone in the wedding industry, we know that this is when we’re our busiest making wedding dreams come true.

Here’s just a peak at one of those dreamy days that we were honored to be a part of. Wishing the happiest of marriages to Hallie and Eric.

Photo by Bradley James Photography, from our wedding together last weekend in Ludington.

Ribbon Selection

0 · Jun 24, 2015 ·

Photo: Ashley Slater Photography

I love ribbon. It’s actually really embarrassing how much ribbon I have stashed away in my basement. I could wrap Christmas presents for years before running out. But as with most things, my styles and preferences change and so I find myself favoring one particular type at a time, leaving the others behind.

Beyond wrapping presents, my obsession is really focused on bouquets and finding the most perfectly delicate spools to flow freely from your handful of gorgeous blooms. The right ribbon will complete everything, blow perfectly in the wind and continue the color story beyond where your eye naturally stops at that bottom petal.

As I’m designing with my clients I find that most either have a very strong preference on the type or color of ribbon used throughout their event or they really don’t care much at all, which leaves that detail up to my choosing (which puts a lot of pressure on me… but I love it!) So here’s a little more on that subject, the most common places that ribbons are used throughout designs and how to make the best selection for each of these areas.

The Bouquets

I’ll start with the most obvious. Regardless of what service my clients hire me for, the subject of ribbons for the bouquets always comes up. And the conversation runs much deeper than just popping into Hobby Lobby to pick up a 50% off spool. There’s so much to consider.

Do you want long, flowy ribbons or do you prefer nice, neatly trimmed and shorter tails? Would you prefer multiple layers? Do you want your bouquets tied with a bow? It is necessary for your ribbons to match your blooms or dresses? What other elements are including ribbon throughout the design?

My preferences lean towards long, flowy trailing ribbons on each and every bouquet with multiple layers. I like big bouquets so I think a large amount of ribbon seems appropriate to balance that. Most weddings I’m a part of have a least a portion of the day outside or plans to have portraits taken al fresco and the sight of ribbons freely blowing in the wind makes me weak in the knees, so I like lightweight options that will make that fantasy a reality.

A fairly common practice is to tie the bride’s bouquet with a big, beautiful bow. While I do occasionally accessorize the bouquet like this, more often, I just loop a couple of ribbons together which I will then pin on the front of the bouquets once on site, as not to get them too wet during transport. It’s a slightly more casual approach, but no less elegant and I don’t agonize over creating the most prefect bow (which I am way too picky about!) Whether I choose loops or a bow, I always tend to place them slightly to the left. I’m asymmetrical in nature, so bridesmaids always get the “how to carry a bouquet” speech from me as I’m handing them out. I don’t want them facing that main ribbon straight forward therefore showing off the side of their bouquets.

Color also needs to be considered. In a perfect world, the ribbons should accent the flowers, stand out from the dresses and still blend with the overall design of the day. Just because your colors are navy and white, does not mean you need to use navy ribbons, especially if your girls are wearing navy dresses – you’ll never even see the streamers hanging down. Select a color that will compliment – perhaps silver or gold or white, or another neutral. Then as the bride, you could choose to use navy ribbons if you want a bold, different look or you could also stick with the more neutral tone of the bridesmaids’ ribbons, just keeping in mind what they’ll look like in front of your white dress.

Stationary Pieces

It really pains me when people put all this thought and care into choosing the ribbons for their personal flowers (or allow me to put all this time and effort into choosing) and then just make a willy nilly selection when it comes to choosing what will be accenting their invitations and/or menu cards. This is the ribbon that people are actually going to touch. One day someone came over and was poking through my goodies and found one of my silk ribbons “It feels like butter!” she exclaimed and she couldn’t stop touching it. What if all of your guests had that reaction? Wouldn’t that make your paper goodies seem that much more luxurious and special?

A couple other thoughts, watch what the ribbons will be placed up against – paper colors, napkins, etc. Then consider the texture of the ribbon and how it might tie. If you’re making bows, does it form one easily or do you really have to fuss with it? Do you want to fuss with 150 bows? Or is it really pretty just casually knotted? How will it look after it’s been crammed in an envelope for 3 days before your guests open it?

Styling Pieces

A great way to style details and add a little extra flair is use the same ribbons throughout. Having extra scraps for the photographer to style the invitations suite with, tie the chair back signs or simply have flowing across the cake table. These small details really do make a huge impact.

Obviously there are a 100 other places you can use ribbons and you have to consider the cost and amount of ribbons you need. Save the most special and luxurious pieces for the places it will be most noticed – highly photographed portions of the day and places where guests will touch it. Most importantly – focus on what details matter most to you.

Feeding Creativity

0 · Apr 21, 2015 ·

Photo: Hetler Photography

I was up at 3:30 this morning feeding Willa June. I don’t usually have many profound thoughts in this half sleeping, middle of the night state of mind. However, last night I began thinking about food. My life has been surrounded by it lately. In the eight hours while my husband escapes to work, I feed Willa June approximately 4 times. On top of that, Gretta gets breakfast, lunch and a snack. Basically this means that I’ve prepared 7 meals before the 5:00 rolls around and I haven’t even eaten yet. But I am surrounded by food.

I was thinking how this relates to my work. Right now I’m in the preparation stages. I have passed along so many floral and design proposals, brainstormed ideas and am so excited for all of this summer’s weddings to take place. I am surrounded by ideas and inspiration. I’m really really busy working with brides who are hungry for ideas. However, all of these ideas are on paper still. They’re just in the prepartion stages and have not been brought to life. I haven’t fed my creative side, I’m just planned a menu.

Without this extra fuel, our minds and imaginations become stagnant. Our creative juices cannot flow and our tank is running on empty. Its something that people outside of this industry just can’t seem to understand – why do you waste your money on workshops or photoshoots? You’ve got a dynamite portfolio and people know what you can do. Your talent speaks for itself. The answer is, sometimes I need to take time out for myself. Sometimes, I need to eat.

Married in a Month

0 · Dec 30, 2014 ·

Photography: Katie Grace Photography | Floral Design: The Day’s Design

Happy Engagement Season! So cheesy, right? But I read somewhere that nearly 40% of all proposals that take place each calendar year happen between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve. And if that weren’t crazy enough, there’s another big burst ready to happen as soon as Valentine’s strikes.

This means that wedding vendors (myself included) are getting bombarded with inquires and people trying to plan their weddings – some for this year, and some for next – because it really depends on the individual as to how much time they need to plan their wedding.

Which brings me to my next point, how much time do you need? I know I’ve touched on this subject before (you can read that post here), but earlier this year I worked with a bride that decided she didn’t really know what tomorrow might bring so, forget the long engagement, let’s get married next month (she also happened to be my sister… eep, that was challenge #2!) . For real.

How in the world do you make that happen!?

First and foremost, develop a plan and stick to it. There’s no room for second guessing yourself or changing your minds. Have a few ideas of what you want your wedding to look like, feel like and the overall formality levels but remain just a little flexible.

Hopefully this spontaneous event is on the skirt or off season for weddings. This will be so helpful. Finding vendors a year out is tricky enough, but a month out? Well that’s a whole new can of worms. Remain flexible and open to recommendations from vendors who might be already booked but know someone with a similar style or budget.

Find a venue ASAP. You have to get invitations or you won’t have any guests. And it’s rather difficult to send out invites if you don’t have a location. Most weddings planned on such a short notice have a smaller guest count and tend to be more casual, so consider what’s really important to you. Will a restaurant or bed and breakfast do? Do you need a place for a DJ and dancing? Can the ceremony and reception take place in the same spot?

Stay away from diy projects. They’re tricky enough when you have 9 -18 months to complete them, but on such short notice you’re just asking to be stressed out.

Find a planner. Seriously. I’m giving you a sales pitch here but they can save you so much wasted time and frustration. If for nothing else, hire them on an hourly basis for consulting and let them steer you in the right direction.

Pray that you can find a dress off the rack. We can’t have you walking down the aisle in your pj’s. However lots of department stores also offer bridal selections, or at least formal white or ivory gowns that can be ordered and arrive within a weeks’ time. You’re going to have to give up the dream of a custom, couture gown. Sorry.

So what do you think, is a quick engagement right for you? At the end of the day, you’re married and that’s the most important thing. You’ve found the man of your dreams now you just have to figure out how to pair the perfect wedding with him.

The Monday After

0 · Nov 24, 2014 ·

It’s often assumed that once the wedding is over, the role of a planner is finished. They’re married, everyone partied and now everyone has gone home. For me the day’s following an amazing celebration are a couple of the most dreaded. This is what your wedding planner does after the wedding.

Saturday night – CRASH!! The End.

Sunday – try to conquer the wedding hangover. The struggle is real, even if though this is a non-alcohol induced hangover. Every Sunday after a wedding I always feel like I’ve been hit with a Mack truck and am barely able to pull myself off the sofa. My feet are screaming, my head and body ache and my mind is a fuzzy cloud of blurry yet amazing details from the night before. So I patently wait for a couple of sneaks on social media from the night before and Instagram a few of my own, or at least get the posts ready for Monday since Sunday technically is the day of rest and I try to take the day off.

And then it’s Monday. Monday is definitely not a favorite day of the week for me, but the Monday after a wedding weekend is the absolute worse. First off, there’s the inbox to be tackled. Inevitably while I’m out Friday and Saturday in preparation and planning mode, I get more emails than ever before – new inquiries and networking request, some vendor love, etc. I’m so grateful for these, however the timing could just be a touch better. So scratch a couple hours out of my day for those. Then I need to write myself a to-do list, I’m bound to forget something and should probably have figured out my priorities before I started my day, but hey, late is better than never.

Then I should unpack. Ugh… I despise this part of my job. Without doubt, my Tahoe is always loaded to the brim with extra flowers, vases, dirty linens, an emergency kit and crates chucked full of wedding goodness and possibly a few rental items to be returned. I do not travel light. Once it’s hauled into my house, let the sorting, cleaning organizing and dragging to the basement begin.

Brew more coffee.

Determine what rentals need to be returned first thing. Stop my organizing because I totally missed something that must be returned by 5:00 and it’s probably nearing 3:30 at this point. Throw on some quick mascara and real pants (because I’ve not left my house yet and am still enjoying the comforts of my pj’s). Frantically rush out wondering what else I can do as long as I’m out in the world and dressed.

Upon my return I will be too exhausted to continue my organizing and forgo my project in favor of returning to my inbox and fixing Gretta a snack, since she will no-doubt be starving from our excursion, in which I had to drag her along. Stare at the rest of my non-sorted pile willing it to put itself away. Check social media for the 4^th time today making sure there isn’t a pro photo wondering around the web (or something else fabulous that I missed) from over the weekend.

Promise myself to accomplish more on Tuesday. Tomorrow is another day.

Speaking of things I missed over the weekend – my Modern Fairytale inspiration shoot (with Heather Cisler Photography, Bianka Bridal, Emilime Designs and A Piece O’Cake) was featured on Artfully Wed Friday. Go check it out, it was a double feature week – so exciting!

Happy Monday!!

The Industry Newbies

0 · Nov 7, 2014 ·

Photo: Evie and Jr. Photography

At one point in life we were all new at something. Whether it was our first time riding a bike, first day of school or the day we officially set up shop and opened our doors for business. After spending over 10 years in the hospitality business, the past 5 years focused mainly on weddings and events and officially naming my business back in 2011 – I can’t help but still feel like a newbie.

And to the local wedding natives who made the West Michigan wedding industry what it is today, I am. To others, I’m looked up to – which seems really strange to say, but I’m sent messages on a regular basis regarding my path to making it to where I am today. They’re asking for advice from ME, the little newbie who is trying to make something of herself.

What I think it really comes down to is perspective. Sometimes being a newbie and shaking things up a bit can be a really good, good thing. While other times it’s translated a little more as “unexperienced” or “she doesn’t really know what she’s doing”. Or in my case, it’s a little bit of both. Let’s be perfectly honest here, if you have it all 100% completely figured out either you’re borderline boring or you’re not challenging yourself to take enough risks.

It’s with all of this in mind that I choose to support new businesses. I like to collaborate and take risks offering newer professionals the chance to shine. Sometimes the results are lacking, and sometimes they’re pure magic. But if you never give a person the chance, then you’ll never really know the outcome.

Does that mean you should be hiring the industry “newbies” for you wedding, one of the most important days of your life? Friends, do be hesitant. Look for recommendations, experienced vendors can truly make or break your wedding day. I would advise not using a full group of individuals who have little experience, however sprinkling one or two new vendors throughout your team might be refreshing. After all, if no one would have ever taken a chance on me, I would still be sitting here daydreaming about planning my first wedding.

wedding planning

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Dried Bougainvillea

Hellebores

Kochia

Quicksand Rose

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

“To me, calligraphy should not be about what etiquette dictates, or what will make your stationary seem luxurious. It is about adding a beautiful thoughtful touch, to add soul to your stationary”.

Consider Your Working Relationship

Is this Friend Invited to the Wedding?

Will They Miss the Celebration?

Is it Even Possible?

Getting Ready Photos

First Look

Wedding Party Pictures

The Ceremony

Sunset Photos

Properly Define Rustic

Choose the Right Venue

Don’t Assume that Planning will be Simple

The Bouquets

Stationary Pieces

Styling Pieces

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