the day's design

The White Wedding Dress

0 · Nov 13, 2013 ·

Simple, clean, elegant and timeless – white has been the go-to color for the modern bride. Whether lace or taffeta, short or long, it seems hard for us to imagine a decade when the bride didn’t wear white. But this tradition really hasn’t been in fashion as long as one might think.

Throughout history brides have worn the best they could afford to celebrate their union in life. From the richest fabrics to their Sunday best, the dress should always represent their families and class in a favorable light. It wasn’t until 1840 when Queen Victoria wed her groom in a white gown, accented with her favorite lace, which really set the tradition. Her wedding photographs were greatly published for that era and we all know how royalty sets the trends.

Around the 1920s the idea began that white represents virginity. Prior to this, blue had been the color that represented purity, although it never was extremely common in bridal fashions.

I have actually talked to brides who felt that they might be “judged” if they swayed from tradition and did not wear some form of white. Then there are those who feel to wear white is to wear a lie. But here’s what I think. I think white and ivory are classic and traditional choices that are simply stunning. I believe if you find a pink gown that screams your name, then you should wear it proudly. I also believe that it should be of no concern to the public whether you are a virginal bride or not. That is a highly personal matter between you and your spouse and you shouldn’t be forced to label yourself one way or another. A wedding is a celebration of love… so dress in a color that makes you celebrate!

I found this inspiration over on The Pretty Blog yesterday and it took my breath away! Would you consider wearing black on your wedding day? You can see the whole shoot here. And if you’d like to read a little more history on the modern wedding dress, you can do so here.

The Day’s Design Inspiration Shoot

0 · Nov 1, 2013 ·

A common question that I get asked is to describe my style. And this is not an easy question for me to answer. This summer I really tried to channel in on that thought and focus. What is my style?

First off, I love shabby chic. Distressed, romantic and soft details make me smile. I absolutely adore vintage pieces, whether they’re ornate early century finds, mid-century modern or industrial and roughed up. Just think of the stories these pieces can tell and the hands that they’ve passed through. Decorating with sentimental pieces warms my heart. It’s magical when cherishing your past, pieces that once belonged to Grandma or other family heirlooms or even a more current gift. And then I have a huge love of family. If you’re trying to figure out your wedding style, just look around your home – your happy place – that should be your inspiration.

So together with Bradley James Photography, I put together a small shoot trying to really focus on my style. I began with re-imagining my own wedding. How would I do it today? But that was so hard with all the fabulous inspiration out there and beautiful events that I have seen. I sat down and made a list of all my favorite things, I highly recommend this to anyone who is trying to focus your wedding style.

It’s a little bit rustic, a little modern, playful and whimsical all at the same time. And the color pallet matches my brand and my grandma’s china which is too perfect. I’m so happy to share the results with you today – let’s think back about warmer weather and lots of sunshine!

My hubby bought me the vintage silverware last year for Christmas, so sweet! And it looks stunning with Grandma’s aqua plates.

The parasol is vintage, from my mom’s wedding in 1975 – they’ve been married 38 years, such an inspiration!

Event Styling & Florals: The Day’s Design / Photography: Bradley James Photography / Harvest Table: Refunction Junktion / Ghost Chairs: The Rental Company

A huge thank you to all the above vendors who helped bring my vision to life! Have great weekend… stay dry!!

Wedding Planning Financial Advice

0 · Oct 18, 2013 ·

A couple weeks ago Credit Card Insider published a list of financial advice for newly engaged couples. I was asked to contribute my tips and advice to couples, along with past brides and other wedding professionals. Money can be a huge stress factor when it comes to the wedding planning process, and while they just shared one little blurb of what I had to say, here’s little more insight.

Finances are a big part of planning a wedding and often a subject that couples don’t even know how to begin to approach (Umm… Mom? Dad? Can I get a little help here?!). Normally I say that the very first step in wedding planning is setting a budget (and sticking to it!!), but I have started to shift a little from that. It doesn’t do a couple much good to set of budget of say $5,000 when they’re planning on inviting 300 guests and there isn’t a caterer in the area that will provide dinner for under $25 a plate. You’ve just blown through that budget and haven’t even fed everyone! So the budget must be realistic for your wedding market. Do a little research and find out what you should generally expect wedding vendors to cost.

Then set your budget and stick to it!

The engagement period leading up to your wedding can be a highly stressful time. You are embarking upon this journey together, planning the start of your ‘happily ever after’ and on top of that there’s money being spent in every which direction. So keep track of your spending. Many couples choose to open a special bank account used just for the wedding purchases, and when the money’s gone they are forced to stop spending.

If your budget allows, hire a wedding planner or designer who will help you come up with a cohesive and fabulous scheme for your wedding day. By having a plan (think blueprints or roadmap for your wedding) you can eliminate the urge to impulse buy. All the details you need are all written in black and white which alleviates that temptation to change your mind because you saw something cute on Pinterest. In addition, your wedding planner will help you stay accountable to your purchases. They can help you ensure you’re spending your money where it will have the biggest impact – you’ll get more bang for your buck!

The last thing on earth you want to do is go into debt financing your wedding. Know your limits. If the budget is tight, consider having a small and simple dinner party to celebrate or perhaps just a cocktail reception. Stick with what you’re comfortable with and not what others expect of you, unless of course, they’re chipping in to help foot the bill.

And have fun planning!

Photo by the fabulous Shannon Scott {Smug Shots}

My Sock Bun Hits the Ceiling!!

0 · Oct 11, 2013 ·

I rarely wear my hair up. And if I do it’s one of those super-messy, spur-of-the-moment, I-HAVE-to-get-my-hair-off-my-neck situations. I have this really weird thing about my neck and showing off my ears, anyway, so NOT the point of this post (I’m just quirky and don’t like my hair up – enough said).

In addition to being the pre-wedding coordinator and event designer for my sister’s wedding, I have the added bonus of also being the maid of honor. I am so super excited about this and about her, and it is truly an honor to be a part of her dream day in such a big way. It is also my duty as a bridesmaid to be an awesome MOH and realize that it’s her day, and things will be done her way. Perfect.

But she thinks she wants the girls to wear their hair up. So as a good older sister and bridesmaid I’ve begun experimenting with how I can wear my hair up and keep both of us happy. The ever so popular sock bun has come into play. I love the look of a giant, sophisticated and neat bun. I would still get big hair, but it wouldn’t be messy. Yes, I thought this might be the perfect solution.

I rocked it for a couple days. And then I got in my car.

Now, I’m not going to go off on a tangent about how cars were clearly designed by bald men who have no appreciation of a greatly teased head of hair. However, the frustration of having to lean my seat back and slouch while driving is great. It might even be classified as a safety risk. But of course as a female, I tend to put beauty before safety, oops.

When I drive my Tahoe, it’s not an issue. I have since told my husband that I will no longer be driving the car. He rolled his eyes and switched keys.

What I am wondering is, how are you brides with fabulous up-dos being transported to your ceremony location or who’s driving you home from the salon? Are you going to have to be crammed in a car or do you have a luxurious SUV of some sort? Or perhaps your stylist is coming to you (which I highly recommend). Am I just being crazy?? Maybe others don’t really have this concern… Maybe I just like my hair too big!!

The above image is from here. And you’ll also learn how to achieve this look yourself!!

Just the thoughts going through my head on the beautiful Friday morning! Have a great weekend!!

Model Call

0 · Oct 9, 2013 ·

Hi there – it’s been a whirlwind of activity over here and I’m so excited to share a few details regarding my next project! Kellie of Hetler Photography and I are teaming up again to create some beautiful holiday magic. I’ve got some new things up my sleeve and while I can’t share all those gorgeous details yet BUT I can tell you that this well definitely help you ACCESSORIZE for your next party! (Yes, that was a giant hint!)

So if you’d like a little sneak peek while also having a fabulous and fun time hanging with your girlfriends
YOU can be part, we’re looking for models.

Here are the details:

We are putting together a fun editorial styled shoot happening October 30^th. 4 female models would be perfect although we wouldn’t turn away a dapper gent or two, if they wanted to help out. All sizes and shapes are welcome, although I will need to know sizes in advance as we’re making wardrobe decisions. The shoot will take place in downtown Grand Rapids and will last most of the day, so please schedule accordingly. For more information or if you’d like to be a part email me (Shelby) at hello@eventsbythedaysdesign.com.

Grab your girlfriends and we’ll pour some bubbly! Cheers!!

Photo by Helter Photography from our last editorial shoot which is scheduled to be published next month!

September’s Bride

0 · Oct 2, 2013 ·

I have been wanting to share this shoot from last year for awhile now… I waited until September and now it seems that September has come and gone so fast, I nearly missed it! But today is the perfect day. My beautiful model and friend for this shoot just gave birth to a sweet baby boy this morning, and I could not be happier for her.

This project represents all things lovely about fall – leaves beginning to change, the scent of apples in the air and my love for donuts. And of course I couldn’t resist throwing a little aqua into the mix either! Thank you so much Unikke Photography for capturing the day, and congratulations Jessica on your new bundle of joy!

Photography: Unikke Photography / Event Styling & Coordination, Floral Design: The Day’s Design / Vintage Rentals: Refunction Junktion / Chocolate Chip Pumpkin cookie favors: Monica’s Gourmet Cookies

Be Still

0 · Sep 18, 2013 ·

Lately I’ve been in this strange place. I want more from my business, more from life and yet not wanting so much that I can’t actually LIVE my life. So I’ve talked about balance before, trying to figure out this perfect formula for living. But maybe it’s not just balance I need to focus on, maybe it’s also contentment.

“You will not find My Peace by engaging in excessive planning, attempting to control what will happen to you in the future.”

-Sara Young, Jesus Calling

This showed up in my Instagram feed this morning. Umm… I plan things for a living, so what am I supposed to make of this?

A couple weeks ago I shared my perfect plan about what this summer was supposed to look like for me. I’d be wrapping up wedding season, be able to sit down and relax in my super awesome studio space and so on (read more here – just in case you missed it).

And again we’ll fast forward to today… I want more, more, MORE! I have not wrapped up wedding season and am still getting inquiries for 2013, which is absolutely amazing and I am so thankful for. However, I am still greed stricken as I want my 2014 to start filling up and I want to book more weddings and have a better peace of mind.

“Be still and know that I am God”

-Psalms 46:10

I just need to step back and stop trying to figure out how to get more, and rather start focusing on what I have TODAY. Today might actually be a pretty amazing day, if I can just stop thinking about tomorrow.

I was looking through my notebook and I have the words “Gratitude changes everything” scribbled across my notes. So that’s the thought I’m going to leave with today. Be thankful.

Featured: Vendor Interview on Wedding Lovely

0 · Sep 17, 2013 ·

I started this week off with a lovely vendor feature over on the Wedding Lovely blog. Can I say, I’m just a little excited? It’s my first feature, just a little interview with yours truly, but it’s kind of fun to be in the spotlight for a minute, I’m not going to lie (even though normally I don’t really like to be the center of attention).

In case you missed it, you can read about me here. I’m going to share more of those lovely photos seen in the post soon, because that little shoot with Bradley James Photography was pretty darn fun!!

Hope you’re having a great week!

Cover Those {Table} Legs!!

0 · Sep 12, 2013 ·

Can we just talk about linens for a moment? I just received three new gorgeous and sparkly new swatches in the mail and I could not be more excited. I have stacks of sample books on my dining room table and sometimes I wander through JoAnn Fabrics just to find new and pretty patterns – most of which, sadly, I will never use. But somehow just knowing they exist puts me more at ease.

So why do I like linens and fabric so much? I believe the perfect linen can make or break an event. I know it sounds silly, but people really underestimate the impact they have in a space. It breaks my heart a little each time I hear a couple say they’re just using the venue’s or caterer’s standard (short), square tablecloths on the round tables. Does a square linen on a round table even make sense? And what about those NAKED table legs??? If it’s a budget issue, then I can completely understand, I don’t want people to spend money they don’t have. And let’s face it, free square linens are better than NO linens. However, when it’s not a budget issue, that’s when I have to hold back the dramatic gasp and keep myself from crying out “WHY??”

There’s a reason we all go gaga over inspiration galleries full of linens dripping with sequins or bursting with bold modern patterns, it’s because they make such a huge statement. This is yet another place to show off your fabulous style. Just like your luscious blooms you so painstakingly selected, they add more texture and design to the space.

These are some of the lines I would love to incorporate into your event some day!!

Just something to think about on the lovely Thursday morning! Enjoy your day 😉

One Year Ago

0 · Aug 26, 2013 ·

It was about this time last year that The Day’s Design became an “official” business (paperwork filed, DBA, tax IDs and all that un-fun stuff put in order). I was almost seven months pregnant and waiting to be called back into work after a short and temporary summer lay-off. Around this time I had high hopes and dreams about what this summer would bring, bustling around with numerous brides, designing away and getting ready to wrap up wedding season, all with my perfect little baby girl by my side.

Yup, life was to be just about perfect. My basement studio space would be shabby chic fabulousness and provide lots of space and organization. I would have the best of both worlds being able to work from home and not have to send Gretta to day care – not missing a single moment of her life. We could spend time playing together in the mornings and I’d stay busy crafting and creating while she peaceful slept each naptime.

Now we’ll fast forward to today. That studio space doesn’t even exist. Instead my basement looks like a moving truck full of décor exploded, with vases, tulle and supplies scattered in every direction, creating an obstacle course for me to maneuver through each time I need a new supply. My office has been relocated to the living room for convenience purposes and is haphazardly organized and accessorized by a baby gate. Miss Gretta is crawling nonstop, hardly allowing me to sit down and scribble down an idea or blog post, much less all the other pieces of owning a business I need to work on. Despite it all, this summer has been amazing and I wouldn’t change a thing.

But it does leave me wondering, why didn’t anyone point out to me how crazy I was starting a business now??? Shouldn’t my mother have told me I was getting in over my head? (Moms are supposed to warn you about stuff, right?) It probably wouldn’t have mattered much anyway, I was and still am super determined to make this work. It does work, just not in the same way that I had envisioned. But on that note, I have every intention to take the rest of this week off, savoring what little sliver of summer we have left organizing life before the onset of fall, and even sneaking up north for a couple days too!

So loves, have a great week and a happy Labor Day! I’ll talk to you next week!!

And also last year around this time I was busy designing my first photo shoot with Unikke Photography, as I prepared to launch my website. This is just one of the images we created together 🙂

When does ‘Happily Ever After’ begin?

0 · Aug 19, 2013 ·

I’m a daydreamer and a fairytale lover so being as such, I often reference the “happily ever after” period of time. You know, that magical moment when your go from the damsel in distress hopelessly looking for Mr. Right, to Mrs. Right, complete with a white gown fit for a queen and you ride off together into the sunset to forever live in a blissful “happily ever after” state.

The reality is we’re all looking for our knight in shining armor. We are given this illusion that if we just marry a wonder man then we can be forever happy. And while there is some truth to this, we also might find ourselves a bit disenchanted with him over time.

My Prince Charming and I got into a little quarrel yesterday morning. Or maybe it was more of a big quarrel. At any rate, the fact of the matter is, everything isn’t going to be just peachy because you took vows to love each other forever. I have mentioned before that people have told me the first year of marriage is the hardest. My mother will tell you the first seven years are the hardest (and she has been married for thirty-eight years now). What I can definitely tell you is that we’ve had arguments and differences in all three years that we’ve been married.

So yesterday morning we were not speaking much as we drove to church. But I was determined that we were still going. My mother also used to say that arguing on Sunday mornings was the way of the Devil trying to get you to skip church. I think there’s some truth there, as there just seems to be lots of extra stress rushing around on Sundays.

I sat through the service feeling a little down, thinking about how this isn’t exactly the married life that I had envisioned. When suddenly it occurred to me, happily ever after starts when YOU want it too! YOU have to create that life that you dreamed of. No one is going to just hand it over to you. And while there might be some curves and bumps along the way, it’s a journey that you can choose to travel onward together.

As you think about that white horse carrying you off into the sunset, remember that just because you lost site of the horse on the horizon, doesn’t mean it stopped walking. Journey on that horse together and maybe that will be better than the destination.

PS – We made up 🙂 And that picture up there? That’s one of my first ever brides from two summers ago, captured by Kelly Lynne Photography… it’s amazing how time flies!

It’s the Weekend!

0 · Aug 16, 2013 ·

Coming home after a few days away is like entering a whole new world of possibilities. Stepping away allows me to clear my head, refresh and refocus. We skipped town for a couple of days last weekend, purposely leaving my laptop cord behind, so we could soak up some sun and Lake Michigan air.

It was pretty chilly last weekend, so our plan didn’t pan out exactly as I’d hoped, but it was still great to get away. Tuesday morning when I stepping back into my office, I didn’t even know where to start… I was simply bursting at the seams with inspiration! It’s one of those times where I have so many ideas, trying to figure out how to get them all out of your head and onto paper, somewhat organized and making sense of it all seems nearly impossible. And the ideas are so scattered, multiple events with various components can leave to an overload of creativity, but I love it! This is what I thrive on 🙂

So this week my desk has been covered with random sketches tossed every which way, I have been elbows deep in piles of tulle, lace, feathers and Swarovski crystals and unpacking my suitcase has been shoved way down low on my priority list!

To some people a strong work ethic includes spending extra hours away from home, not taking vacations and having zero family time – they’re married to their work. For me, its understanding that some time away can lead to new possibilities, more creativity and a healthier overall perspective on life. So please excuse the mess… this busy mama has work to do!

Happy Friday friends!!

For more glimpses of what I’ve been up to, follow in Instagram!

Fear: Part 2

0 · Aug 8, 2013 ·

Just a little recap from earlier in this story, I was feeling a nudge to leave my comfortable job and to spend more time with my family, while focusing more on what matters in life. I acted on that, but perhaps I stepped in the wrong direction… (for more, read part 1 here.)

It seemed everywhere I turned there were signs pointing me in another direction. That spring and summer our pastor preached countless sermons on taking leaps of faith, and not just being contented but also fulfilled in life. I cannot remember the entire message, but one Sunday in particular he spoke about the ABC’s:

A – We get super excited about something new. We are absolutely on fire and cannot wait for our journey to begin.

B – The road becomes a bit more difficult. Challenges arise and the journey seems too long. We cannot see the end of our path.

It’s at this point that many people turn back. They look for a new point A, a new beginning. Inevitably, difficulties will arise again (point B) and so the search for another A also begins and it’s a vicious cycle of never seeing anything through.

C – However, point C brings the fruits of our labor. If we can just push through those difficult times, we can reap the rewards and be fired up once more. The message was aimed right at me, I knew it to the depths of my soul. Point A was over so I left my job and now in my new job had gone through A and B, but it didn’t even seem worth continuing on to C. And I was paralyzed by fear.

So much fear. I didn’t know what I was doing. I had this idea to start my own event design and planning company for years now, but it was such a distant daydream. It was just a hobby, people don’t support their families doing stuff like this! And did I mention, I was pregnant?

And then Pastor Brian said something else: are you willing to fail for God? Wow.

I cannot say that my next actions made any sense at all. I began researching all the wedding planning businesses in the area (and there are A LOT). The market seemed like it was becoming saturated. I couldn’t figure out if this was a smart move in business. But I began writing a business plan anyway.

I have made many of my first moves in fear. I have never been an outgoing person and I hate being the center of attention. I have reached out to other vendors and tried to live reminding myself that they can’t say anything more than “no.” But “no” is a scary word. It gets you questioning everything you do, wondering if you’re good enough, smart enough and talented enough. I keep me reminding myself that I am enough (and if you need a reminder about that, I highly encourage you to read this post by my good friend Kellie – who I would not have met without having started this “scary” business).

I am a control freak and I like to have all my ducks in a row, with a perfect plan in place before I start anything (I’m an event planner, remember??). I am fearful of starting anything without first knowing exactly where I’m going and exactly how I’m going to get there. But lately I feel like I’ve been feeling another nudge…

Countless people in the wedding industry lately have been posting tidbits about anxiety and how “done” is better than perfect. “A year from now, what will you wish you had started today?” Quotes about fear and rejection have been popping up all over my Facebook and Instagram feeds. I’ve already of made a couple of mistakes and wish I would have done some things differently in this little baby business of mine, and I don’t like that feeling. I think it’s that icky feeling that’s holding me back.

What are these feelings holding me back from and where is this nudge leading? Don’t worry, I’m not leaving The Day’s Design, I love this business that I have created, I just have the notion that it could be more. There are more services to offer and more opportunities awaiting, but am I ready for them?

As you read this, I know what you’re thinking, “You felt like you needed to make and different and do something that matters and you chose wedding planning??” It’s okay, I had that moment too! But a wedding is a huge deal! It’s so much more than just a pretty celebration; it’s a recognition of a commitment, not only between man and wife but a commitment to God. I want to be a part of that! I want to utilize the talents He has given me. I want to help create a beautiful start to the rest of each couple’s lives.

So what’s next for The Day’s Design? A step forward. I need my grandma’s faith in me. I need faith in myself. And most of all, I need to have faith in God. I must overcome fear.

The above print and quote is from Lara Casey, such an amazing woman and inspiration. You can find it here.

Fear

0 · Aug 6, 2013 ·

I let fear hold me back. That’s an honest and open, bold and truthful statement. I get scared and am unsure of what my next step in life should be.

Two years ago (summer 2011), I received a promotion to Dining Room Manager at the restaurant where I was currently employed. It was a decent job with good pay, the hours were not exactly what I’d like in a perfect world, but I could go shopping, we could continue remodeling our house and life was pretty comfortable. I continued to work here and there on weddings, although there just wasn’t too much time for that.

It was not where I was supposed to be and I knew it, but I continued on with my comfortable life. That fall my grandma, who I was VERY close to was diagnosed with cancer and she began failing fast. As the holidays approached work got busier, life got busier and the question arose as to whether or not Grandma would make it to Christmas.

During one of the most joyous times of the year my heart was so heavy. I remember being bitter towards all the people celebrating with their loved ones as I served food, greeted guests and tried to stay somewhat upbeat. I have over 10 years’ experience in the hospitality industry, so customer service has become second nature to me. But not during this time. All I wanted to do was scream “My Grandma is dying, and you’re upset that your steak is slightly overcooked!!”

A time like this really has a way of putting things into perspective. We find meaning in life’s dark times and are able to focus on what’s really important. For me, that was family. I felt like I needed to be with them and I needed to make a difference and give my life more purpose than just overseeing a dining room of overindulgent seafood lovers.

Three days before Christmas I approached my boss and told him I would not be into work for the next few days. I had to go see Grandma and focus on what mattered most.

We had the best Christmas EVER. I cannot even begin to describe it more than that… it was just an amazing time being surrounded with family and love. Period.

January 9, 2012 Jesus called Grandma home. On one extremely snowy and blusterous day we all gathered around to celebrate her life. She was an absolutely amazing God filled woman who I was so proud to also call my friend. She always pushed me to do my best and was filled with simple words of wisdom and comfort.

More than ever, I knew it was time to leave my restaurant home of six years. It was time for something new, but what? I accepted a new position as an event coordinator at a private club in downtown Grand Rapids, leaving my old job on a whim. I was there for a few months but nudge, nudge…

So why is this post titled “Fear”? This is just the beginning, the story doesn’t end here, part 2 will soon follow.

Little Sister Getting Married!! {Weekend Update}

0 · Aug 5, 2013 ·

Oh hello Monday… so glad you’re here for another busy week! But before I start on the busy week ahead, I just must share how much fun this past weekend was.

While my sister and I have been collaborating and doing much of her wedding planning from afar (she lives on the east side of the state), it was so nice to have her visit and put so many of our plans into action! We scratched countless items off the planning list this weekend and I am unbelievable excited about how this whole celebration is coming together. A couple weeks ago I wrote a post about how long it takes to plan a wedding and in her case, she could get married next month no problem (In case you don’t remember, she was engaged mid-June so that’d be 3 month engagement!).

Her dress is breathtaking, her venue filled with classic architecture and natural light and the design plan just fits together so perfectly. Linens have been selected, invitations created and floral needs have been decided. And the cake (or should I say cakes), I am so excited about, but maybe that’s just my sweet tooth talking!

Upon leaving, I could see the disappointment in her face as most of the fun details have been found and put into place, so now what? No worries, there’s still plenty to do and the holidays will be here before you know it!

Have a great week!

And this cake picture? It’s just a sneak peek at some of the inspiration behind her gorgeous cake table. We found it on Pinterest (where else??), but I believe the original was created by Connie Cupcake.

Our Social Connection

0 · Jul 31, 2013 ·

Social media is this worldwide phenomenon that keeps us oh so connected with people that we might otherwise never see or speak to, or at least have a very limited contact to. Thanks to Twitter, Facebook and Instagram I can now know what my high school crush’s first baby not only looks like, but also know the exact moment that they took their first steps and said “mama”. I am able to connect with other wedding professionals across the country and see the mock ups they created for their clients today or know that they’re having a slow week. Through the magic of selfies I now know exactly how much eye make-up my friends are wearing, if they are having a bad hair day and what shade of pink their blouse is. I see when someone splurged on a new Coach bag, is drinking coffee at their desk, in the middle of a brand re-launch or if their hubby bought them flowers “just because”. I feel so connected.

But am I really???

While we might post the random comment expressing a strong distaste for some political movement or a fit of road rage, we really don’t let our true selves shine through. In reality, we create this online “virtual version” of ourselves, sharing only the side of us that we really want people to see, usually the more positive one. We showcase our fabulous lives, the glitz and the glam, nights out on the town and the high end purchases we just made on our huge shopping spree. What we don’t share is the credit card debt or the blisters on our toes from the amazing 4 inches heels that you just had to party like a rock star in. In a sense we’re branding ourselves. We’re all our own paparazzi and PR professionals. We broadcast our lives in the light that we want others to see it in.

I don’t really know what it’s like to be you. I don’t know what makes your worry or how insecure you are about your next move in life. I may read your blog and see your triple post across Twitter, Facebook and Instagram (is it really that important that I see it all three times???), but what I don’t know what really makes you tick, what’s keeping you up at night or gets under your skin. Since I have a this false sense of knowledge about how peachy your life is, I use it as an excuse not to pick up the phone and call or meet for coffee and stay really connected. The sound of people’s voices is becoming a piece of the past as text replaces talk.

We laugh that future generations won’t know how to write, other than the short hand versions we use in texting and proper grammar might be lost forever. But could we also loose the feeling of actual human contact as well?

Just some thoughts on my mind lately, as I have found that I compare myself to other professionals, thinking the grass is much greener on their side of the fence (or town or country). I am discouraged by their success not taking into account their failures. I by no means am saying that I’m getting rid of social media or dislike checking my Facebook page and Instagram feed, I just want to keep things in perspective. I love to see what others are up to. I want to see your vacations photos and be jealous of your time at the beach. I enjoy seeing your children grow and your thoughts on life. Sometimes you even inspire me. But I also want to see the real live version of your face and connect on a more personal level. I want you to know that I really do care and I want to be you friend, to share your sorrows, joys and all life’s happy moments.

Photo by Shannon Scott {Smug Shots}

Let’s create friendships that last!!

After “I Do”

0 · Jul 28, 2013 ·

I generally try not to blog or do any work on a Sunday. Sunday’s are that amazing day every week where we can sit back and relax, take a nap after church and possibly not plan anything at all and just let the day happen.

However, sometimes my brain doesn’t really get that memo. I find myself daydreaming about wedding plans, designs and colors. I’m guilty of looking at other’s sneak peeks from the weekend’s wedding and events. I’m thinking about my upcoming brides, with upcoming plans, both in the distant future and in the upcoming week. And even if I can manage to steer my mind away, I my mind just wonders to thoughts about home décor and I find myself staring at the hideously awful green color of my living room/office.

So in all the wedding magazines, websites and planning tools I stumbled across, in combination of advice and words of wisdom from family and friends, I don’t feel that anyone really prepared me for this. This being the I’ve-been-married-3-years-live-in-a-“starter”-home-have-a-baby-a-career-and-want-life-to-be-perfect stage of life. Sure people gave me useless pieces of advice like “You must fall in love over and over again, with the same person” or warnings that the first year of marriage would be the toughest (which I do not agree with!) But how could you really prepare for this? How can you warn people what being married is like?

I just read that… warn people. Is that really what I meant? Certainly not! But sometimes, yes. Each year, month, week, day and hour brings a new challenge of married life. So I debate… should I share these challenges with you? Should someone give you a little glimpse of the life that comes after “I do”? It’s a battle and balance between personal and professional, a line that I’m constantly trying to keep in check. But I can’t help but wonder, what exactly are the marriages I’m helping to create going to be like?

I promised myself I would never help my couples do all the planning for their wedding, walk down the aisle and then just leave, never to be seen or heard from again. So in starting to share a little bit more of my day to day life, I hope to help inspire and encourage those of you who might find yourself in a “rough patch” of marriage or just feeling blah and depressed for the day. We all feel that way, even those of us who seemingly have a perfect life, from the outside looking in anyway. Let’s move into Married Land together and learn from each other as we start this life “After I Do.”

Oh, and you know that rhyme, “First comes love, then comes marriage…” well this is Gretta a couple months ago, she arrived in the “baby carriage” last November. Kellie of Hetler Photography worked her magic and took some amazing pictures of the two of us back in May (Gretta was about 5 months).

The Cake Debate

0 · Jul 24, 2013 ·

TeaParty-21

Who started this silly tradition about saving your wedding cake to eat on your first anniversary? Here’s your little history lesson for the day…

Once upon a time people got married, got pregnant and had a baby. Bam, bam, bam. So these celebrations were often fairly close together and once the baby was born a christening celebration was held. And of course when we celebrate, we eat cake. Around the 19^th century, tiered wedding cakes became increasingly popular and the top tier was left over in many instances, so it was saved to be served at the christening celebration.

In more modern day, the amount of time that separates the wedding and christening has increased, so couples have opted for enjoying their cake in celebration of their first anniversary. Cakes originally were more of a dense fruitcake that lasted well over time (without modern refrigeration methods), rather than the light, fluffy buttercream covered versions we enjoy today.

So should you honor this tradition? It’s completely up to you. Many bakers will now recreate a mini cake for you to enjoy on your anniversary, which is a great option. I personally saved my wedding cake, and it was surprisingly delicious! I would have never guessed it was year old freezer cake.

If you decide to honor tradition, here’s how I saved mine (although your baker might have some additional tips for you!):

Refrigerate the cake to ensure the outside frosting is nice and firm for handling.
Wrap the cake in plastic wrap, ensuring the entire surface area of the cake is completely covered.
Next wrap the cake in aluminum foil, again covering the entire cake.
Place the wrapped cake into a large freezer bag and seal.
Enjoy in 1 year!!

*This is not a fool proof method, but it definitely worked for me!

Now you can have your cake and eat it too!

Photo by Bradley James Photography

Little Sister Getting Married!! {The Venue Search}

0 · Jul 3, 2013 ·

When you’re not the one getting married, it’s often very easy to judge how you would do things differently or how you might think a couple is going about the planning process all wrong. First off, let me just say that no two weddings are exactly alike. There are so many more feelings and emotions that go into a wedding, beyond venue choices, timelines and entrees.

My little sister is getting married (yay!) and as a good older sister who just happens to be a wedding planner, I’m helping her plan her wedding. So here’s the truth, I have a hundred thousand gorgeous ideas swimming around in my head just based on the very few descriptive words she’s provided me with about her dream day. From those hundred thousand gorgeous ideas, I have to narrow it down (with her help of course) to the ones that truly represent her and her relationship, and will also fit within her budget without having the sacrifice the sanity of those around her and without stepping on toes and tell Mom to back off (sorry Mom if you’re reading this!) That’s a lot to handle. She truly might be one of my most difficult clients because there is so much extra emotion there. My sister deserves the absolute very best.

As we’ve began this journey together, a mere 3 ½ weeks since he proposed, my sister is finding herself shoulders deep in venue research and trying to secure the perfect location, time and date. So going back to judging other people’s process, that’s exactly what I’m trying not to do. It’s easy for me to say “if I were getting married I’d do this…” or pick out the most gorgeous venue ever, when in fact I’m not the one footing the bill. So as a wedding planner, I have to put myself into my client’s shoes, and remember to treat her as a client, and not just as my little sister that I can boss around.

So here’s what you should really ask as you’re trying to settle on a wedding location:

What is the overall feel or mood I’d like to set for my wedding?
Do I want the ceremony and reception in the same location?
What is the most important thing about venue to me? Aesthetics? Price? Functionality?
How will this venue affect my décor budget? A really awesome space can sometime eliminate the need for lots of extra flowers and fluff, whereas a less attractive area may need some extra design help.
Who provides the catering? Am I limited to certain caterers or is in-house catering the only option? Then consider their prices.
What is the lighting like, especially during the time of day you are planning your event? Will it lend to the type of pictures and mood you’d like to have in these keepsakes?

Choosing a venue can be a lot like buying a home. I was house shopping with my parents recently and the realtor said when you find the right house, it will speak to you. Does the space speak to you? Are you going to want pictures of this space years from now?

And in case you don’t follow along on Instagram, here is one of the fabulous spaces that we’ve had the opportunity to tour!!

Have a safe and happy 4th of July!!

Bridal Headpieces

0 · Jun 20, 2013 ·

I simply adore looking at bridal fashions. And while traditions stay close to my heart, I cannot seem to ignore the new trends in bridal headpieces. Simply swapping a tulle hat or adding a floral headband can completely transform your wedding day look.

So which look do you prefer?

{Traditional veil via Style Me Pretty / Tulle hat via Style Me Pretty / Birdcage veils via Style Me Pretty / Floral crown via The Wedding Chicks}

3 Years Ago

0 · Jun 19, 2013 ·

I was married 3 years ago today. 3 years ago Pinterest did not exist and wedding blogs were yet to dominate the internet planning world. I purchased bridal magazines and used creations from my very own imagination. 3 years ago I had a wedding filled with rustic and earthy details that have long since been forgotten about by my guests. Timelines and seating charts are a thing of the past and my ivory taffeta gown is shoved in the back of my closet. Linens and charger plates have been returned and my gorgeous peony and wildflower bouquet has long since wilted.

So what remains from my wedding 3 years ago? A marriage.

For 3 years now I have had a man by my side. Together we have built a life full of stress, chaos and laughter. Since we said “I do” we have celebrated a life together full of family, sorrow, adventure and new life. I cannot think of a person I’d rather have by my side.

We are long since past the point of living in wedded bliss. The “honeymoon phase” dissolved quickly as argued about paint colors, kitchen remodeling plans and whether or not shoes should be worn in the house. Sometimes we go to bed angry. Sometimes I have to vent to friends and gripe about how his way of thinking is completely backwards and opposite (and clearly wrong!) from mine.

Recently I was asked how I knew that I was marrying the right man. What a loaded question! I never had that a-ha moment where I just knew that Josh was “the one”. I really didn’t even know where to begin in answering that, but after much debate here’s my conclusion. You much choose to love someone for the rest of your life. Butterflies and bliss will not last forever, so if that’s what your marriage is based on, be prepared for failure. Spend some time on your knees, I asked God every night to show me if there was a reason I should not marry Josh. He will show you. Do not take this commitment lightly, being caught up in the romance of a wedding. Make sure you can handle their cute little quirks, which will drive you crazy later. Think about what your life would be life without him, does that scenario even exist? And be prepared to never give up.

Photo by Shannon Scott {Smug Shots}

Happy Anniversary baby… I love you!!

A Couple Truths about Wedding Planners

0 · Jun 14, 2013 ·

Photo by Hetler Photography

Many people hear the words “wedding planner” (or coordinator, etc) and immediately get this vision of someone who is going to come in and take over your wedding day, dictating every decision from venues to colors to day-of timelines – creating an event that is not even close to representing you as a couple. So we shy away from this concept, ask friends and family to help out and thinking that as brides, we can just do everything ourselves.

The second myth we hear is how expensive wedding planning services are and this is only a luxury that high end, big budget brides can afford.

Here’s the truth. Wedding coordinators only take over the entire planning process if you want them to. On average, it’s said that a wedding takes about 200 hours to plan. I personally have not taken the time to do the exact math, but I think the actual number might be higher. This is a ton of time for someone working a full time job to commit to. Rather than having 20 separate vendors to research, meet with and keep informed you can hire a planner to articulate your vision to each and every one of them, keep all communications with them and you only have to email (call, text or whatever) ONE person to make sure EVERYTHING gets done. Now sit down and take a load off!!

Secondly, your budget might be more planner friendly than you think. Many planners have a variety of options on how involved they actually get with your wedding day. You can use them as a consultant basis just to make sure you have everything covered, because let’s face it, you’ve probably never planned a wedding before! Not sure how to construct your itinerary? Can’t decide which linen colors will give you the best impact? Or just need someone to make sure that the reception is set up beautifully while you’re off getting married? I’m so glad you asked!! Let me help you!

Packages can be tailored specifically to meet your wedding day needs, meaning you can help control the costs without losing control of your wedding day!

PS – I have limited dates still available in 2013 and would love to chat about your 2014 wedding!

Downtown Inspiration Shoot {Teaser}

0 · May 31, 2013 ·

Something gorgeous happened in downtown Grand Rapids Wednesday that we simply cannot wait to share! An urban city venue combined with lots of sparkles, amazing shoes and other fabulously girly delights – there’s so much to swoon over, but we’ll just tease you with this little sneak peek for now!!

West Michigan has some amazing vendors who I simply cannot thank enough for their contributions to this project! Photography: Hetler Photography / Event Design: The Day’s Design / Floral Design: Modern Day Floral / Chairs: The Rental Company / Bride’s Dress: Bridal Elegance / Hair & Make-up: Cheeky Strut / Jewlry: Ashley Poolman, Lia Sophia Independent Consultant / Cake: Mirabella Confections / Paper Products: Emily Ross Creative / Videography: Inspiration Video – and a huge thank you to our lovely models!

Tuesday’s Chat

0 · May 30, 2013 ·

Take a little step back in time with me, I actually wrote this post yesterday (Tuesday) morning but you get to read it now!

I’m a last minute planner… it’s true. My day today will be spend scrambling around doing last minute errands and crafting last minute details for tomorrow’s completely fabulously glitzy photo shoot.

And as much as I like to plan and have dates and times and itineraries all typed out on my cute stationary, sometimes you just can’t plan for new inspiration (or plan for the fact that your computer won’t turn on, hence why you’re reading this a day late!) I’m a laying in bed thinker. I often get epiphanies late at night, thus I keep a notepad on my nightstand – there’s nothing worse than have a great idea and then forgetting it by morning. That being said, sometimes my design plan can completely change in the middle of the night, or I may have figured out a way to make it even better. This is why it is so important to trust your vendors! Sure I drew up a beautiful proposal when we began planning your event, but sometimes I stumble across products and ideas which will make it THAT much better!

So here I am sharing all of this on the day before my big shoot, when I actually need to be crafting, creating and running errands, all because I came up with an amazing element to add while I was out of town enjoying a wonderful Memorial Day at the lake.

Happy Monday… er, Tuesday (actually Wednesday now)!!! Bring on the coffee, it’s going to be a long but fabulous day!

PS – I can’t wait to share the results with you! Lot’s of pretty coming soon!!!

the day's design

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