From the Heart of a Planner

Winter Stationary

0 · Jan 16, 2017 ·

I’m trying to dial back to the basics of my business. I’m trying to focus on what I love. I think that’s the core of my brand, just me being me. I love just sharing my passion and hope that someone else likes what I’m doing. And obviously in my journey I am running a business so I must always keep that in mind, but carefully without betraying who I am and balancing this with what best suits my clients.

I’ve been working with Ciarra at Silver Fox Calligraphy on some branding elements that will reflect this. I love pretty paperie and beautiful wedding details, but more than that, I love when there’s a story and some meaning behind those details. It’s what I preach to my clients and I think I need to start setting a better example for them. With that in mind, Ciarra has created a few special pieces for me that really hit home and are the core of who I am and what wedding planning and floral design is all about for me. I will show all the details in the coming months, but for now, I’d love to just share my winter stationary that I had her design for me.

I haven’t counted the exact number of birch trees on our property, but there are a lot. And their paper white bark just makes me happy every time I look out my window. With a blanket of white surrounding them, it’s a peaceful and serene scene. I want to share this sight and yet preserve it for myself. So I sent Ciarra this photo and asked her create a watercolor card.

She captured it perfectly each time I send out a little note, it makes me so happy. I paired the cards with deep dusk blue envelopes and simple white liners that have a wood grain texture. I also had a stamp made with a flower she sketched especially for me so I can add a sense of nostalgia with a golden wax seal.

I absolutely love snail mail (both sending and recieving!) if you read this post and would like to see a card in person, I’d love to send a piece of happy mail your way, email me at shelby@eventsbythedaysdesign.com with your address 🙂

Prayer Walk

0 · Jan 13, 2017 ·

Truth be told, 2017 is off to a rough start, in an emotional sense. Everything that I’ve envisioned for the New Year isn’t exactly coming true and I’ve been a little disheartened. I made a couple mistakes in 2016, both personally and professionally and I’m still beating myself up a bit. But knowing that there’s nothing I can do to change the past, I’m striving to move forward and my mantra has simply been to do 2017 better. I think we can all be a better version of ourselves.

Focusing on the future. I’m hopeful that there’s some really beautiful things ahead. However, it’s scary because the future is always an unknown. I have a hunch that I’m not the only business owner out there who might be dealing with a little fear.

Prayer Walk | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photgraphy

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography

Yesterday, I was going about my day and stressed and hurried but then found myself in an usual situation with a couple extra minutes on my hands. So I went for a stroll down a city sidewalk and wandered into an antique store. I was minding my own business and going about my shopping when a stranger approached me, kindly introduced herself and asked if she could pray for me. Was there anything on my heart that I could use prayer for? She was on a prayer walk.

I nearly burst into tears then and there. There were a number of people out and about yesterday, and yet this person I don’t even know wanted to pray for me. I don’t know that I looked like I needed prayer or that there was a troubled look on my face. But I gave her an abbreviated version of what’s been keeping me up at night and she prayed for me and was then on her way.

I have been filled with such a peaceful feeling since this encounter. It gave me a little hope for the world, there’s good around us. I think this is just a good reminder to all of us that we never know what the person who parked crooked next to us, is taking too long in line in front of us or has a beautiful life on social media is really go through. What would happen if we all just prayed for each other? And what if we showed someone grace and kindness whether their life is beautiful or they’re just flat out rude? What if we all promised to be the very best version of ourselves?

Farwell 2016, Time Refuses to Stand Still

0 · Jan 3, 2017 ·

My mom used to say that the older you get, the faster time passes. As a child who waited forever for Christmas morning, my birthday or out next vacation, I would inwardly always roll my eyes. She didn’t know what she was talking about. A year was 365 days regardless of your age and a day always contained 24 hours. Period.

Yet somehow, my mother was once again correct. I don’t know why this phenomena occurs, it’s really quite peculiar but I’m about 2 steps away from following in her footsteps and telling my girls the same thing.

Photography: Samantha James Photography

This past wedding season went by in a flash, I hardly even remember it. It wasn’t until I went through all my pictures on my hard drive that I suddenly recalled so many gorgeous celebrations filled with the most amazing couples and so much love.

I had a little break down on New Year’s Eve because I realized that I wasn’t ready for 2016 to be over. There were so many things I wanted to accomplish still. I felt like I was still living in the shadow of 2015, and hadn’t even fully embraced 2016 yet. I have yet to improve my skills, make business progress or even finish unpacking from our move. Thank goodness I didn’t share my goals on this little blog, I’d have to hang my head in embarrassment from the lack of accomplishment.

I went back and re-read my year end post from last year (you can read it here) and realized all the goals that I had checked off my list and what a brag board I really had. But most of all, this stuck out at me and still holds completely true:

“Moving forward is a sign of progress and a little bittersweet. There’s a part of me that thinks I should have kept a tally of how many times I bled, how many times I wanted to give up, the hours of sleep I lost, the times I wanted to do a happy dance and high five (only to realized I work most days alone), the number of times I witnessed “the moment”, the walks up and down the aisle, the steps I take on a wedding day, the trips to venues, caterers, flower markets, greenhouses and down the road foraging for treasures. I need to keep track of it all so I can remember. So when 2016 rolls around and I can’t hardly function because I’ve pulled another all nighter before one of my fabulous brides’ big day – all I’ll have to do is see the expression in her eyes as she sees her groom staring back at her so in love. I want to remember why I love this job so much and never forget. My mother has mentioned on several occasions that there must be an easier way to make a living. Of course she’s right, but they’re not my passion, my drive or what I want to be doing. This is right where I want to be.”

Can we just say yes to all of this again? Remember, but don’t keep score. Stay inspired and stay true and never forget why we started in the first place. And let’s do 2017 just a little bit better because time isn’t going to slow down for any of us.

The above photo is from my sister’s wedding, which I’m going to go ahead and say was my favorite wedding of 2016 😉

Peony for President

0 · Nov 8, 2016 ·

Sometimes I like to live in this blissful little bubble filled with peonies and silk ribbons. I like the stare at the autumn leaves and think that the pending winter season should be the biggest worry on my mind. And that quickly turns my thoughts to roaring fires and big fluffy snowflakes gracefully making their way to the ground. The world can be a really beautiful place.

Photography: Samantha James Photography

A quick shot of reality will remind me that life isn’t all chiffon streamers, brass candlesticks and Chantilly lace. Flowers don’t fill everyone’s world. And this election has surfaced a whole bunch of ugly around us.

There’s a lot of banter out there regarding who one should be voting for. I’m not here to share my political views. I’ve never considered myself political whatsoever, even though I do have strong opinions on certain matters. I’m not going to stand on a soapbox and preach about voting one way or another. I have my morals and values and in the end, only one candidate even remotely aligns with those.

I feel like this election has surfaced a lot of judgement and nasty comments on both sides. There’s a huge push to get us all to the poles and exercise the right we have to vote. But there’s another right that we all have – and we didn’t have to fight wars or preach of equal rights to earn it. It’s the right to love one another.

That’s not to be misinterpretted as marriage equality or romance or any of those topics that I’m not chatting about today, but rather the command given to us all “Love your neighbor as yourself.” [Mark 12:31] What if we all stopping judging one another’s ideas, tastes and opinions and just loved. We could love the widows and the orphans, the seniors and young, the rich and the homeless, the sinners and those who sin a little less. Loving means the end of anger and hate. It doesn’t mean we have to agree with everyone but showing compassion to their point of view and humbling ourselves would be a good start. Go vote and then love your neighbor unconditionally, regardless of what his yard sign says.

I don’t have control over who ultimately wins this election. But I do have control over my own actions – actions I took to voice my opinion by voting and then how I react regardless of the outcome. I can do my small part to make this world a more beautiful and loving place. I maintain my position that the peony is one of the most beloved and agreeable flowers. I’m voting peony for president.

Autumn Leaves :: A Reminder to Never take Life for Granted

0 · Oct 24, 2016 ·

There’s a house near town that has the most amazing grape vine draping over its fence. And every single time I drive by, I get the sudden urge to pull over and take a picture. The foliage slowly turned from lush green to shades of golden corn, honey Dijon and chartreuse. Little specks of brown have formed delicate patterns on each leaf and the entire plant is singing with perfection.

Yesterday I drove by the adorned fence once more, but I was instantly saddened by the realization that the lushness has dissipated. It was no long full and vibrant but rather preparing itself for the long winter months ahead. Only a few speckled leaves clung to their woody stems, the rest littered the ground beneath. I had missed my chance to stop and take a picture and now I would have to wait another year entirely for this phenomena to take place again.

Fall is fading away all too quickly.

I know this isn’t a new message, but it’s once that’s constantly on my heart. Beauty if fleeting. Life as we know it right now in this exact moment will never be exactly like this again. A couple weeks ago our pastor stood up on stage and shared how silly he thinks it is to buy someone flowers – even his wife – they’re just going to die. But as morbid as it is to think about, his wife is going to die someday too. That doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t love her while she’s here. It just means that we should treasure every moment of their life without reserve. In the same way, we should treasure every leaf, every blossom and each delicate stem while it is able to grace us with its presence. Winter is going to be here all too soon and while there will certainly be days of glittering snowflakes and blankets of white, there will also be gloomy grey skies, bitter winds and days not fit for man or beast.

Autumn Leaves | The Day's Design | Kelly Sweet Photography

Photography: Kelly Sweet Photography

I’ve had a couple of goals on my mind for this autumn season and this is just the reminder I needed to push myself forward and not take this time for granted.

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The above photo was the setting for Tim & Christina’s first look, a most gorgeous autumn wedding in Northport, Michigan. You can see the entire day here.

Busy

0 · Sep 9, 2016 ·

“How’s your summer? How have you been?”

Busy. Without fail, it’s the first word that I blurt out of my mouth. Followed by a deep sigh.

“That’s good, good for you” is the typical response. “Glad to hear business is good”.

I’m glad of this too. I’m thankful of how far I’ve come. I’m thankful that I have found people who appreciate my strengths and talents and want me to be a part of their celebrations.

But the exhausted sigh that follows the word busy as it bursts out of my mouth often thinks otherwise. That exhausted sigh wants a moment of rest, wants to catch its breath and remember what summer used to be like. I want to go for a country drive. I want to have enough time to seek treasures in the woods. I want to listen to Lake Michigan’s shoreline. I want to have to wash grass stains off of the bottoms of my feet. I want to pick up a camera, learn calligraphy, paint or dabble with a 100 other creative hobbies that sometime consume my mind. Alas, I want to play with new flowers.

Reality finds behind a computer screen. Gmail is holding me hostage. And when I finally close my laptop, I am rushed the depths of my basement, I scrub buckets like it’s my job, I package an average of 150 votive candle holders per event, I creative checklists and pack my car only to unpack it at an event then repack it at the end of the night and unpack it again only when a tiny ounce of energy finally returns to my body on Tuesday – which is typically 3 days after the wedding has concluded. Although, I’ve been known to keep my easels zip tied to the top of my Tahoe for as long as a week or two, knowing I was just going to be throwing them back up there, so I simply shouldn’t waste my time. I pack again, prep, coordinate and making sure that nothing fall through the cracks. I find myself problem solving dead blooms, missing packages and no show vendors. And I ship my babies off to Nina’s for another weekend. Yes, I’m busy.

And I find others praise me for staying busy.

Plum Centerpiece | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography

I want to look at the other side of that coin, it’s the side that says “rest”. I know that word is important. And it seems like every day there’s some social media message somewhere reminding me to stop and smell the roses. That’s how my creativity thrives. I have to been able to see the world to be inspired by it. If it buzzes by so fast that all I see is the blurred ground beneath my feet, my work is going to suffer. My life is going to suffer. My family suffers.

Then the guilt creeps in. I can’t leave an email unanswered for more than 2 days. Someone out there is waiting on me. This person is depending on me and they’re also paying my bills. They are important to me. And I love every single wedding I plan.

There’s guilt towards my family as well. I have been a vessel of guilt for months now. I’ve been seeking moments of solitude and release where I can. Honestly, I haven’t been able to decide if I’m supposed to be thankful for the busy or if I should just throw in the towel. Ever where I look I seem to find conflicting views. Some days I love my yoga pant wearing friends displaying their lives, how they work from home so they’re rarely forced to brush their hair while other days I’m inwardly screaming, “your life is a vacation – when do you actually work!?” Where is the hustle? How do others find time of these extracurricular activities?

So I went for a walk. I set up the stroller, grabbed the dog’s leash and down the road we went. I was craving silence. Gretta had other thoughts in mind and was jabbering on pointlessly about rocks and hills and heaven only knows what else. I would mutter some sort of response every few sentences so she thought I was listening, but I couldn’t really tell you what her three year old babble was all about. I was thinking about how much more you can observe if you can just be quiet and listen to the world around you. Then suddenly she yelled “A deer! Mommy do you see it!? A deer!”

Sure enough, a deer had crossed the road no more than two car lengths in front of us. But I was so annoyed by all of her chattering on that I had nearly missed it. And she saw it despite the fact that she was elbows deep in a conversation with herself.

It was at that moment that it hit me, whether you’re busy or giving yourself rest, you still may miss something going on in the world around you. You can’t rest simply because it’s Saturday and someone tells you too. Likewise, we don’t always have to rush back to work on Monday morning (yes, I know, perks of working from home). You have to create your own balance and a schedule and life that works for you, not necessarily the rest of the world. So while I love to say that I work from 9-5 and close my computer, I might find myself working at 11 pm on a quiet Friday night. My work is really important to me. But so is my family. I know this isn’t my first time writing about balance, but it’s a constant struggle as a business owner and one that I hadn’t exactly planned for.

Your life doesn’t have to be a cookie cutter mockup of everyone else’s. Plan to take spontaneous play days but work hard so you’re free to do so. Make your life work for you, and enjoy it.

Happy Friday friends!

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Why I’m Excited to Plan a Wedding in Flint, Michigan

0 · Aug 3, 2016 ·

I grew up in a small town 13 miles north of Flint, Michigan. While I realize that I’m not “from” Flint – it was not the city on my mailing address or where I went to school – it still has the draw of home. It was my stomping grounds. That’s where I went to Meijer, Target and the mall. The Vehicle City provided a small town girl with the conveniences that weren’t available in a town with an urban population 2,500 people. My Grandpa worked at GM as did many of my friends’ parents. And since most people aren’t familiar with the town of Clio, for the first 18 years of life instead of giving a geography lesson, Flint is where I claimed to be from.

The stories of Flint’s decline are prevalent. I’ve never been okay with the tale of a dying city, crumbling structures and lost history. I cannot stand it when someone tears down a historic home or leaves a stunning old building standing in decay. New is not better! And when it hits this close to home, it’ all the worse. Between the closing of the factories, the increased crime rates and now the undrinkable water, the future of Flint seems hopeless.

But I’m excited to plan a wedding there.

Yes, I am planning a wedding in Downtown Flint. And I am excited. The prospect of bringing something beautiful to a dismal place is a symbol of hope. There is a least one gorgeous venue in the area which holds so much history. William C. Durant is credited for founding General Motors. The Durant Hotel was named in his honor. After years of a vacant existence, the landmark building has been restored. What was once a symbol of prominence and success, is again a beautiful vision of the potential the city still holds. In its heyday, it was known for its luxury accommodations, events and grand ballroom. The building’s smaller ballroom still holds its original spender and will host my sister’s wedding next week.

Once again, I’m going to tell you how excited I am for my sister’s wedding. But this post isn’t about her, it’s about the city that she chose to be wed in. And I’m sure she’s not romancing this declining city the way I am, but I’m still glad she chose to have a wedding near home. We looked at venues across the state, she didn’t hold any loyalties to the area. But in a really, really small way, I feel like we’re helping. Business is staying local. Every dollar counts. I love supporting local and hometown efforts.

It’s also been a welcomed challenge. Do you ever try to look at the world around you in a different way? I’ve been forced to see the beauty as well as the decay. I want to think about what it would have been like to be one of the original residents in the area. I can only imagine an era of carriages turned to horseless automobliles in a scenic city along a beautiful river. Somehow, I feel like we’re telling their side of the story. We’re honoring their history. Just picture the 1920s scene of a lavish woman parading proudly down the street in a proper long gown and a dapper gent on her arm. Next week, that scene will come to life once more.

Wedding in Flint Michigan | The Day's Design | Samantha James Photography

Photography: Samantha James Photography

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Cinderella’s Proposal Video

0 · Jul 29, 2016 ·

My little sister is getting married.

If you’re a longtime reader of this little blog, you’ll understand the impact of that one little sentence. It symbolizes how love overcomes all. It shows that we should never settle or give up hope. I’m not going to dig up her dirty laundry, but rather I want to celebrate the future that lies before her.

To say that I was honored to be a part of her proposal story is an understatement. I heard the news months before that all important question was posed and was privileged to be a part of the entire process. Ring shopping, scheming and all the lovely details.

When I suggested that we have the entire occasion photographed, my sister’s soon-to-be fiancé was overjoyed with the idea. It all snowballed from there with video, flowers and a beautiful dress. He wanted something memorable. He wanted to create that perfect moment that she would never forget. He definitely accomplished that.

For me, bringing this to life was one the most stressful events I have ever taken on. Everything had to be timed perfectly, from hair and makeup, to her dress, his arrival and the music cued in the background. I rehearsed the scene over and over in my mind, but ultimately it was out of my control.

I couldn’t decide whether to share the story, the video or the photographs first. I love it all. They complete each other, just as Justine and Devin complete one another. Today I’ll leave you with the scenery in motion from Katie Grace Photography & Videography. It tells the tale in a way that words cannot.

In just two short weeks, they’re getting married.

Seasons of Love

0 · Jun 27, 2016 ·

This past week, I co-hosted a bridal shower for my younger sister. I am ridiculously excited for her wedding and so happy for her. However, this post isn’t really about her. Rather, it’s about something that was said during her shower that particularly struck me.

Whenever my family hosts a shower, we always include a small devotion. This shower was no exception and we asked a member of her church to share a few words. She started talking about fairytales (you may have seen a few sneaks of my sister’s Cinderella inspired proposal so this message was spot on) and then she spoke about the different seasons of love. Seasons of Love | Marriage Proposal | The Day's Design | Bradley James Photography

Photography: Bradley James Photography

Anyone who is married can tell you that those butterflies and pangs of longing and excitement don’t last forever. Happily ever after is something that you have to work at. Love has different seasons and is constantly evolving.

As she spoke, I began to wonder what it would be like to hold onto that so fresh in love feeling forever. I starting thinking about how miserable life might actually be if my gut was tormented eternally every time we were separated for 2 hours or if he didn’t return my call.

And then another memory came flashing back into my mind. My first love. I was sixteen years old and he was my everything. His mother, on the other hand, has some prude-like tendencies. I remember one night sitting and watching Groundhog Day with his entire family. Remember at the end when Bill Murray finally makes it through the night and it’s a different day in the morning? And Andie MacDowell is still there. In bed. With him. And then they kiss. And my boyfriend’s mother said “ugh, like anyone would kiss with morning breath”.

As a sixteen year old who was madly in love with her first boyfriend, I was appalled by this comment. Who cares?! I would have given anything to give my boy a kiss first thing in the morning. I could only dream about a time when this would be a real possibility. Thoughts of love, marriage and all sorts of romantic notions flooded my hormone infused teenage mind. My heart nearly broke every time I had to tell my boyfriend good bye.

Fast forward 15 years, 6 of which I have been married, and suddenly I can see where she was coming from. It’s certainly not because I don’t love my husband, but I prefer a little minty freshness in the morning. I’m in a different season of life, of love.

We need to cherish the season we’re in. If you’re newly engaged, this is your time to savor the feeling of novel love. The tingles and exhilaration will vanish overtime, but that doesn’t mean that either one of you have “fallen out of love” but instead, it has evolved into something new. Newfound emotions and levels of understand and commitment are just around the corner.

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A Story Waiting to be Written

0 · Apr 19, 2016 ·

Remember back in the day when people would want to show you slides from their vacations? Alright, so maybe I’m not that old but I have definitely been forced to sit through rolls of awful developed images with full of landscapes, with pictures and pictures of rocks and trees, a few buildings and inevitably the backside of the picture-taker’s thumb.

I remember always wondering why people would take so many pictures like this? Why aren’t there any people in these pictures? Where are the smiles and memories?

It’s funny how things change. Now, some of these person-less photos are some of my very favorites that come back after working on a wedding or an editorial piece. There’s an art and emotion that can be felt through this imagery. It’s like I can envision myself there without others in the picture to distract me. I’m instantly transported back to that time and place.

You may remember this post awhile back when I grumbled about the wedding guest who thought it was ridiculous that we’d want untouched reception photos. I’ve suddenly been able to jump in his shoes, channeling back to that time when I too thought “empty” snapshots were pointless.

While I can hardly compare some of the fine art produced by my photography friends on the same level as that of a disposable camera, I think the thought behind it was the same. There’s something special, something beautiful happening in front of them and they want to remember it forever. Those scenes deserved to be remembered always, whether they’re of a bride and groom, a flower girl twirling or simply the mountainside where the day of your dreams took place.

North Carolina Mountains | Team Flower Workshop | Heather Payne Photography

Photography: Heather Payne Photography

The above photo is from 2014, almost exactly two years ago in the mountains of North Carolina. I have oodles of flower pictures from that workshop, I have pictures with friends that I made that day. But this image always comes back to my mind. It instantly transports me back to that time and place.

Driftwood | Beach Wedding | The Day's Design | Bradley James Photography

Photography: Bradley James Photography

And this one. A simple piece of driftwood. I posted it on my Facebook page and had the most engagement that I’ve ever had for a non-floral picture. It seems relatively simple, nothing overly special about it – it just made me happy. I thought about the beach, what it would be like to walk there after a long cold winter. I thought about the first time I met Hallie (who’s wedding pictures it was a part of) and the day that we went on a sightseeing adventure when the weather finally began to thaw last April.

Beach Wedding | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography

Or this one. I certainly don’t love feet, but this image compels me.

I don’t know why these pictures are so powerful, why sometimes they can express more for me than I could even put into words. But I know they’re an important piece of the story. I know this world would be lost with only portrait photography. And there’s a reason beyond my understanding as to why when I’m playing with my own camera, I take picture after picture of my back yard – without a soul in sight or a real purpose behind it. There’s a story there – it’s just waiting to be written.

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Why You Should Consider an Unplugged Wedding

0 · Apr 6, 2016 ·

Do you ever just take a moment to sit in silence? Just stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, turn off the TV, put down your phone and sit quietly.

How do you feel? What are your emotions at this moment? Just breathe in and breathe out. Let your thoughts circle around you.

Reasons Why You Should Have an Unplugged Wedding | The Day's Design | Clary Pfieffer Photography

Photography: Clary Pfeiffer Photography

A few weeks back after the kids were to bed and while hubby was still at work, I experienced a moment of silence. After a couple of minutes of merely sitting on the sofa, I started to grab my phone and mindlessly scroll through Instagram. I thought about finding something else to watch on Netflix. But I fought the urge. I sat there without a sound, without a movement, for a few minutes more. I had to battle myself the entire time.

Prior to this moment, I had watched a sappy Nicholas Sparks movie. They get me every time. It made me smile, it made me cry and at the end I was a blubbering mess of emotions. When it was over, I wanted those emotions to disappear. I couldn’t feel the hurt and sadness anymore. After all, it was just a movie.

But instead, I embraced this rare moment in time and let myself feel things. I pondered exactly why this movie made these feelings surface in the first place. I took the time to sort out things that have been haunting me for years, but I’m always just a little too busy to stop and think about. I thought about love, I thought about life, I thought about family and past relationships.

Oddly enough, the following Sunday the message at church circled around the idea that people are so busy that they don’t take the time to properly grieve. They don’t take the time to feel things, embrace their emotions and understand what their senses are telling them. They become a tangled mess of a person who doesn’t know how to deal with life when something when it doesn’t go their way. In biblical times, when someone died they would find people to come cry with them. They would sit in a period of mourning and embrace their grief – for days, for weeks. Today, we encourage people to get back to work, get back to normal, stay busy. The hurt will go away.

But it doesn’t. It just gets buried under the busy of the moment.

We’ve created a generation of people who are hot headed and miss out on so much of life because they cannot properly channel their joys and sorrows.

It’s for this reason that I encourage you to have an unplugged wedding. There are arguments that iPhone cameras get in the way of photographers. Point and shoot flashes can be damaging to the venue’s natural light. And guests get in the aisle way and try to get the very best shot, therefore preventing the professionals from doing their job effectively. All very valid arguments.

However, I think by encouraging your friends and family to put down their phones/cameras, you’re actually doing them a favor. You’re taking away the pressure for them to get the very best shot and be the first one to post it to Facebook. You’re giving them the opportunity to be present with you and experience the joy and celebration that’s happening in your hearts during your union. You’re allowing an excuse to disconnect from the rest of the world and focus solely on what’s happening right in front of them. Let them inspect every flower that’s been so painstakingly selected. Enable them to smell the sweet scent of the fresh summer air. Allow them listen not only to the musicians, but the birds and the babbling brook in the background. Give them the opportunity to reconnect with family that traveled from afar to share this day. And encourage them catch up on life happenings with old friends. It’s your gift to them on your wedding day.

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When to Break the Blogging & Business “Rules”

0 · Feb 26, 2016 ·

Love Letters and Lace | The Day's Design | Wildfield Paper Co | Ashley Slater Photography

Calligraphy: Wildfield Paper Co | Photography: Ashley Slater Photography | Styling: The Day’s Design

What do I have to offer the world today?

A fellow blogger posed this question and it’s been bubbling around on my brain for month’s now. Ever read something that another writer, or even friend, has posted online and wondered why on Earth are you telling me this? I have those moments all the time. Why did the world need to know that?

Something very few people (if anyone) knows about me is that I used to daydream about being a writer. I would write short stories, dream up scripts for plays, novels and had collections of poetry. And I kept a journal. But my journal wasn’t a pretty little notebook with flowery thoughts and aspirations, it was a mass collective of random papers, paragraphs and ideas I’d scribbled down during calculus class or angry letters to ignored crushes. My journal was anywhere I could find a scrap of paper, napkins, post-it notes – you name it, I was resourceful and could then stuff them in my purse or pocket only to be discovered later or perhaps never even relived again. It was this way for me to vent and clear my head and figure out what I was really feeling. And usually they were deep, dark and often angry. Those are the moments I most feel the need to pick up my pen.

The thing about these writings is they were never really meant for an audience. I couldn’t easily share them with anyone and most people don’t even know of their existence. I had a poem or two that I’d read to a boyfriend on very rare occasion, but never my mother, best friend or even an English teacher – they were much too personal and I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone critiquing my work.

Creative writing was always my elective course of choice. I guess you could look at this as sort of a foreshadow of things to come. Never did I think that I would post writings online, I rarely even update my Facebook status because it is simply “none of your business”.

But from what I have read of “successful blogging” is you must be consistent, follow the 3 part story structure and most of all, have something worthwhile to share with the world today. Those are all three things that I really struggle with – and perhaps that’s why my blog isn’t “successful”. Why would anyone want to read what I want to share with the world? However, I mentally turned a little switch and decided to break these rules and no longer look at this as merely an informative wedding blog but rather my journal. My writer’s block has decreased. I feel like I just gave myself some freedom to be myself and write whatever I want – not what you’d want to read on a “wedding blog”. And I’ve actually had a very slight increase in readership.

So, what do I have to offer the world today? This – be yourself. Don’t do something because it seems like that might be the “rule” of business or “the way” things are done. If it don’t feel right, then stop. Simple enough, right? Just be yourself.

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And a little side rant – I hate the word blog. It so harsh and not poetic at all as it rolls off your tongue, it’s like you just spat the word out. Plus it reminds me of Pogs which gives me a little 4^th grade flashback.

A Fall Family Photo Session

0 · Feb 24, 2016 ·

Just as the trees were dropping their last few leaves and before the blistery cold came billowing in, I realized there was a moment to be captured.

They say that things change with your second child and I couldn’t agree more. Time slips away faster and the days of being a baby are soon forgotten. The months have fled and I’ve hardly even looked at these pictures. I have piles of things that will “someday” hit the blog, both personal and work projects.

Meanwhile, Gretta has grown to a big sister of 3 years. In one breathe, it all seems so natural as if this is how life has already been. But I’m fearful that it will all too fast just be gone. Willa June turns one next month.

Don’t forget to schedule in a few play days. Have a friend follow you around with a camera as you walk by the river, inspire an impromptu game of peek-a-boo and just remember life as it is. 3 Year Old Toddler Pictures | The Day's Design | Katie Grace Photography Ada Park Family Session | The Day's Design | Katie Grace Photography Riverside Family Photo Session | The Day's Design | Katie Grace Photography Black and White Family Photography | The Day's Design | Katie Grace Photography Autumn Family Photo Session | The Day's Design | Katie Grace Photography Vintage Kids Coats | The Day's Design | Katie Grace Photography Fall Family Photos | The Day's Design | Katie Grace Photography Ada Michigan Photography | The Day's Design | Katie Grace Photography 8 Month Baby Photos | The Day's Design | Katie Grace Photography Family Photos in Ada Park | The Day's Design | Katie Grace Photography Thank you to Katie and Lisa of Katie Grace Photography for being that friend and helping us preserve these precious moments.

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Artful Boudoir

0 · Feb 12, 2016 ·

Boudoir is concept that sometimes I struggle with. It is a French word that means a woman’s bedroom or private room. And I think that’s the key to boudoir – it is private, personal and an emotional experience.

Each January I see a huge influx in boudoir advertising, its right before the Valentine’s holiday and it seems like a very romantic gift. It is, that I can absolutely agree with. And from a marketing standpoint, it’s right on.

Bridal Boudoir | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

I also get asked to be a part of similar sessions, staging, designing and helping to choose tasteful lingerie. I personally love it, it’s so romantic and raw. There’s an energy that’s created and the form of artistic expression is something special. I understand why the ancient Greeks and Renaissance artists used women in the nude as their muses.

But then I struggle with whether or not I should actually be posting these private images. Is this something that’s too racy and dare I say, pornographic, for me to be a part of?

Enter the gray line. Remember when Glamour Shots from the mall were all the rage? When I was younger, my pastor had one of his wife hanging in his office. She looked amazing. So remarkably beautiful, sexy. Of course, I was 10 at the time so those weren’t the words I used to describe her, but just the same that gorgeous airbrushed image is burned into my mind and I can still see the teal backdrop against her fiery red hair. She was a vision. And not the vision you’d typically think of when you imagine a pastor’s wife.

She was somewhat plain in her everyday existence. I think every woman deserves to feel like a fiery redhead goddess at least once in her life. It’s a boost in self-confidence to be depicted in this way and there’s really no rule that you need to share these images with a man. As someone who often struggles with body images and confidence, I encourage any photography style that will help promote inner beauty and enhancing the outer, in a natural, real way.

Bridal Boudoir | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography

What I have witnessed is a trend towards the art and the thoughtfulness. Boudoir is 2015’s Glamour Shots. I worked with one woman who wore a full length robe. It was silky and feminine, but showed no more cleavage than one might expect to see in a wedding dress. And on the other end, she showed off her ankles and toes. Back in 1915 this might have been controversial, but today it was barefoot and beautiful. Often textures and fabrics add grace to the photos. Some of my favorites would hardly even be considered boudoir. They’re not full of the kinky lingerie, provocative poses and indecent images that convince ourselves are necessary for this type of session. Think long lashes, sweet muted tones and tender beauty.

My thought is if you can’t show them to your daddy, then they should never leave the bedroom. I’ll never post anything that’s revealing beyond an artist’s eye. But I do encourage sessions that show off this more sensual side of being a woman. Whether it’s in a sequin dress, a bridal veil an old t-shirt, be your own definition of sexy.

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Patience is a Virtue

0 · Jan 11, 2016 ·

My family is one of those families that can take about any word or phrase and turn it into a song. So today’s lyrical inspiration comes from Mr. Tom Petty because “the waiting is the hardest part”.

I was awake at 6:30 this morning with thoughts of home décor, moving and endless possibilities floating through my brain. I just laid in bed pondering it all. We put an offer in on a house over the weekend. And while we did give them an acceptance deadline, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they adhered to it. So we’re still waiting.

I was reminded of a time back in high school when I prayed for patience. It might be a virtue, but it’s never ever been one of my strengths. Once I set my mind to something, I like it to happen NOW – like instantaneously. So I thought it would be wise to ask for some assistance in this area of my life. I said a few prayers and soon forgot about it. Little did I know that there was a lesson on its way.

You see, there was this boy. This boy was the apple of my eye. Remember high school crushes? My world revolved around him. And finally, I got his attention. We went to homecoming. We dated for 2 whole months. Pure high school bliss. Until he broke up with me. My world ended. I didn’t give up on this romantic dream though, but for months I lived in tortured misery. He didn’t go to the same school as me, so he didn’t know that I had practically given up on life (that’s a little teenage drama for you). Six months after the worse day of my life, he wanted me back. Oh joy! Life was worth living again! We went to prom, had an awesome summer and everything was right in the world once more.

There was an epiphany moment a little while later. I realized this was a lesson in patience. It wasn’t that I couldn’t have what I wanted, but rather I needed to wait.

I have faith there is something amazing down the road for me, for us and my family. But waiting for it is not the fun part. It is however, just another learning period in life teaching patience.

Waiting | The Day's Design | Hetler Photography

“You take it on faith, you take it to the heart, the waiting is the hardest part”

-Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

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And speaking of waiting, can we give a little shout out to Kellie of Hetler Photography, she never keeps me waiting for gorgeous pictures. The one above is from a little project on Saturday, talk about a quick turn around time! You can see more from our project together here.

An Undecorated Life

0 · Jan 5, 2016 ·

The Felt Mansion | The Day's Design | Weber Photography

This weekend we took down the Christmas tree. Packing away the Christmas tidbits is always a bit bittersweet. There’s a big empty space in my life.

And then we started packing. Not just the décor, but packing up our lives. I feel like 2016 is a huge mass of unknowns for us. We’re planning a huge move without an exact destination determined yet. I have complete faith that it will all work out, but just the same the unknown is a scary place to be.

We’re stripping down to the bare basics. I’m living an undecorated life. That’s not an easy realization for me. Pretty things inspire me. I don’t deal well with living in ugly, chaotic clutter. I’m struggling with the idea that we may find a home without floral wallpaper, thick crown molding and crystal chandeliers. I’m seeking to find the beauty in the situation.

The new year is also the perfect time for my little blog facelift, which I’ve been envisaging about since last spring but struggling like crazy to make it happen. One of the biggest changes is actually quite minor, but I’m changing from a blog to a journal. So many of my post should really start with “dear diary” and I’m pushing myself to be more real, more open and more vocal on certain matters. Somehow having a journal seems more natural. I’ve had a journal ever since high school when writing was the only real way for me to clear my mind. My sporadic thoughts will continue, along with insights on moving, home buying and the redecorating journey. And of course this will forever and always be the home for wedding planning and flowers. Lots and lots of flowers.

2016 goals? Surviving and living to the fullest. I can’t be specific about my goals quite yet because I’m not sure where life is right now. I have lots of dreams though for the road ahead.

dreaming is a form of planning | The Day's Design

Photo above is by Cory of Weber Photography. If you find a house with beautiful moss like this is the greater Big Rapids area – call me! I’m on the hunt for my dream home 🙂

2015 :: The Highlights, Goals & Lessons Learned

0 · Dec 31, 2015 ·

At lot can happen in just 365 days. Sometimes it hard to believe we’re even the same person that we were when the year began. From a business perspective, the growth I’ve seen has been unbelievable – both in clients and in personal strengths. I feel like this year was the year that I finally found my way. I’m feeling more confident than ever and excited to look back on the steps I took to get me there.

But it wasn’t just from a professional standpoint that I experienced change. There were lots of individual adjustments in life this year as well. I considered splitting my review up, posting from both a business and personal outlook, but there’s so much overlap and it’s hard to really figure out where each one really begins. Anyone who owns a business I’m sure can relate.

I began the year pregnant. I’m not one who enjoys pregnancy, so for me that wasn’t exactly a highlight. But of course then little Willa June was born and everything changed. It’s hard to even imagine what life was like before she came along. Gretta has adjusted well and it’s as though she’s always been a part of our family.

I was a little nervous about the start of wedding season. I had played with a few flowers for my maternity shoot back in January, but prior to that, my sister’s wedding in November had capped off my 2014 season and I was a bit apprehensive to get back into the swing of things. And then of course there was the additional pressure of having two children in tow.

I like to start the season with an inspiration shoot. It’s just seems to help get the creative juices flowing and if I’m a little rusty, my mistakes are made on my own accord and not at the expense of one of my brides. So Ashley and I headed to the beach – she was itching to create something pretty as well after a long winter. The shoot was moody and ethereal (and freezing – 39 degrees in May!), and the results were just as I had imagined it and I realized I just need to get out of my head create. I achieved another goal with this editorial, having it featured on Magnolia Rouge.

Photo Credits (left to right, top to bottom): Ashley Slater Photography | Ashley Slater Photography featured on Magnolia Rouge | Ashley Slater Photography, Design: Michaela Noelle featured on Inspired by This | Kelly Sweet Photography | Hetler Photography | Ashley Slater Photography, Dress: Spring Sweet featured on Magnolia Rouge | Ashley Slater Photography, Calligraphy: Kaitlin Parisho | Ashley Slater Photography, Invitation Suite: Wildfield Paper Co featured on Magnolia Rouge | Kelly Sweet Photography

I officially started the wedding season in May with 2 beautiful celebrations. Both brides had complete trust in me and gave me lots of creative freedom. I was able to choose blooms that I loved, worked with vessels they loved and had lots of local and foraged ingredients. Blush and pale pink color palettes were a reoccurring trend for me in 2015. I learned that while I am completely capable of doing multiple events in a weekend, it’s not a trend that I will continue. I’d much rather give each bride her own individual day and full attention.

Once again I was honored to be a part of Bloom the Workshop. I can’t say enough to really convey how lovely Ashley and Michaela are. I was fortunate enough to be a part of the very first Bloom they held over a year ago and in May I floralized their 3rd full day workshop to held in West Michigan. Michaela always dreams up a gorgeous tablescape and I love working with other creatives to help bring their visions to life.

A couple years ago, I had set a goal that I’d like to be featured at least 4 times a year on a major publication. The shoot with Bloom was featured on Inspired by This back in August, and was feature #4 for the year. While this isn’t my main focus of business by any means, it makes me feel pretty good to check this off my business goal list.

Photo Credits (left to right, top to bottom): Jamie & Sarah Photography | Bradley James Photography, Plates: Debby Does Dishes | Ashley Slater Photography | Clary Pfeiffer Photography featured on Style Me Pretty | Jamie & Sarah Photography | Jamie & Sarah Photography | Clary Pfeiffer Photography featured on Style Me Pretty| Clary Pfeiffer Photography featured on Style Me Pretty | Bradley James Photography, Invitation: Minted

In July, I received my very first order from Rose Story Farms. To some this might seem like a really strange item to highlight, however, if you’ve ever held one of these delicate little blossoms in your hands, you’ll understand their beauty. My love local blooms will always exist, but when they’re not Michigan made it doesn’t get much better than California grown. The chartreuse green of their little leaves just makes me so delightfully happy.

I worked out of a hotel room for the first time. Again, strange thing to highlight but it was an interesting experience, to say the least. It was at the same time that I experienced leaky containers, bouquets that were fastened with faulty tape, scorching heat and a whole wave of other obstacles. Give your florist a hug and tell your wedding planners thank you. They may have bled, drove across the state or stayed up all night making things happen that you’ll never be aware of because they’ll never tell you. My strength and endurance have been tested more than once this year and I’m stronger person and wedding planner because of it.

Thinking back, I remember the day that I longed to have one of my weddings or inspirations shoots featured on Style Me Pretty. It seemed like such a distance and lofty goal. In 2015, I was featured on their blog 3 times and I feel like someone should probably pinch me.

Also on my list of goals is to be see my work in print, in an actual magazine or a place that I can physically hold in my hand. Last month I received the news that not one, but 2 of my weddings will be featured in The Knot Michigan next spring. I am so honored to think that once upon a time I was just a college graduate with a little dream to be a wedding planner. And now here I am, living this dream and being recognized by some of the biggest names and publications in the industry. The icing on the cake – it was my bride’s fantasy to be featured on The Knot too, it’s so special that I could help make that a reality for her as well.

But it’s not just the recognition, I definitely don’t do what I do for fame or hoping someone will give me a huge pat on the back. The people I’ve meet along the way is the most rewarding piece of the journey. I love my brides, my vendor friends and some lifelong relationships have blossomed from working in the wedding industry.

Autumn brought with it more engagements, golden hues and many colorful celebrations full of love and the most amazing couples. And lots of dahlias. I truly hope to do more fall weddings next year as the scenery in Michigan is simply breathtaking that time of year. And I’d even like to add a couple of winter celebrations to my 2016/2017 calendar.

2015 was The Day’s Design’s third full time wedding season, the year Gretta turned 3 and will be the last year in our current home. It was the year of designing flowers in my dining room, storing them in my garage and keeping the rest of the treasures in my basement. It was the year that we tested my Tahoe’s strength, air conditioning and storage capacity. Moving forward is a sign of progress and a little bittersweet.

There’s a part of me that thinks I should have kept a tally of how many times I bled, how many times I wanted to give up, the hours of sleep I lost, the times I wanted to do a happy dance and high five (only to realized I work most days alone), the number of times I witnessed “the moment”, the walks up and down the aisle, the steps I take on a wedding day, the trips to venues, caterers, flower markets, greenhouses and down the road foraging for treasures. I need to keep track of it all so I can remember. So when 2016 rolls around and I can’t hardly function because I’ve pulled an all nighter before one of my fabulous brides’ big day – all I’ll have to do is see the expression in her eyes as she sees her groom staring back at her so in love. I want to remember why I love this job so much and never forget. My mother has mentioned on several occasions that there must be an easier way to make a living. Of course she’s right, but they’re not my passion, my drive or what I want to be doing. This is right where I want to be.

Cheers friends! Have a happy 2016!!

A New Adventure

0 · Dec 22, 2015 ·

Photography: Katie Grace Photography

On November 2, a new adventure began for our family. My husband accepted a new job. It’s a great job and excellent career move. However, for the past 2 months he’s been commuting 60 miles back and forth each day. The situation is less than ideal.

The remedy is for our family to relocate, plain and simple. So the adventure is really beginning in the New Year. We finally have our house listed for sale, we have been scouring the real estate market and we are packing our bags.

I’ve held onto the dream of living in Northern Michigan for so long now, and I’m falling just shy. Our proposed destination town is Big Rapids, a mere 12 miles south of what most consider to be the cutoff line to living up north. So close. We’re almost north. At least it’s a step in the right direction.

And as far as business goes, I don’t foresee much change on that front. Only a small fraction of the brides I currently work with are local, and I really do very few wedding right in the city of Grand Rapids itself. I’ll be that much closer to my Leelanau brides and my Southwest Michigan brides will only be a stone’s throw further. The dream is to find a place with a potential floral studio, perhaps a small garden, or I’d at least like to get out of my formal dining room so maybe I could actually host a dinner party once in a while.

Right now I feel like we’re living on a prayer. We’ve had so much interest in our home, but the housing market in that area is a bit… challenging, to say the least. It’s a faith journey, trusting that we’re making the right decision and that it will all work out in the end.

Merry Christmas week – we’ve had 5 showings of our house this week, which is also less than ideal. It’s cutting into my wrapping and family holiday time so if your gift was late or not perfectly wrapped, I’m sorry – I don’t know how Martha Stewart does it all! I hope you’re all enjoying this season of laughter, joy and togetherness.

Less Work More Life

0 · Dec 10, 2015 ·

Photography: Katie Grace Photography

If you follow me on Instagram then you’ve probably noticed that I’ve been completing the #risingtidechallenge this week. (If you haven’t heard about the Rising Tide Society, you can read more about it here.) Today is day 4 of the challenge and it’s all about living life, backing away from work and focusing on why we’re doing things – what matters most.

I’ve been contemplating how I’m going to answer this challenge. Obviously it’s my family that I’m working so hard for. It’s so I can help support, put food on the table and assist in keeping a roof over our heads. I work from home so we don’t have to put our kids in daycare, so we can have fun family movie nights and put up a glittering Christmas tree that will be loved all day long. I work for my clients, being a part of their stories and bringing their celebrations to life. But secretly, I work for myself too. Because truth be told, I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t working towards something. I’m not the type of person to be content without a dream and a little dirt under my nails. And I work so I can keep on dreaming.

This morning, however, I had a breakdown. I was up against a naughty toddler, deadlines and the wish the take a shower. I keep getting thrown into the category of a “stay at home mom”, as if I had no obligations other than my children, and it boils my blood. I work from home, I take care of two little girls while I’m crafting backdrops, answering emails, blogging, finding caterers, processing flower orders, etc. I challenge any of you with 9:00-5:00 jobs to take your kids with you for a day or two, you might not be able to keep your jobs for long. That’s how I feel. So as such, I often find myself stretched a little thin. It doesn’t always feel like a blessing to be able to stay at home with my girls all day. At times it feels more like a trap. Some days I just feel cursed. That’s how I felt this morning.

Going back to focusing why I’m doing what I’m doing – and sometimes I just can’t channel the gratitude and response that I know I should be writing. I should have just posted a big old picture of my family on Instagram, said they’re what matter most and moved on with my day. But at the moment it just didn’t feel sincere. I’m the type that would rather stay silent then just say what everyone wants to hear.

And then Willa June smiled at me. It was more than just a smile, there was a twinkle in her little 9 month old eye. We connected in a way that was just beyond route diaper changes and feedings. It was then I realized that I couldn’t let someone else watch her and take that away from me. These are mommy moments and they’re mine.

This is for all the entrepreneurs and family-preneurs out there – it seems like others have it all together. It seems like so many others have figured out how to do and have it all. But I’m challenging you to realize that it’s a rollercoaster ride. Some days are beautiful and productive and some days I’m in yoga pants, shower-less and wishing that I had never had kids. Even though it seems like it, I know I cannot possibly be the only one who feels like the minority. I can’t gush about my kids and husband 24/7 because while I love them all dearly, sometimes they drive me absolutely to the edge.

I work so I can have a life – whatever that life may be. I work so my dreams can become bigger dreams and someday reality. I work so my family can be a part of that life and those dreams, constantly seeking the balance between the two. And maybe someday I can also be part of my baby girls’ dreams, whatever they will be.

Holiday Cheer

0 · Dec 3, 2015 ·

Photography: Katie Grace Photography & Videography

I usually love Christmas. I’m a bit obsessed. Sparkly trees, twinkling lights, snow, presents, dinner parties… yes to it all!

But the last couple of years I haven’t really “felt” it. I feel like adulthood has officially checked in and the wonder is gone. It’s December 3rd and I still have pumpkins on my porch. Floral designer fail.

I used to get excited in August when Hobby Lobby would start stocking the shelves with Christmas goodies. My tree was always up Thanksgiving weekend. And Christmas shopping usually started back in September (if not sooner).

While I can check Christmas shopping off my to-do list, the rest of it seems tragic. I look at my house in disbelief and have to hold back tears. There’s pumpkin garland in my living room.

I’m trying to channel my holiday cheer. I don’t normally participate in things like Instagram or blogging challenges – I much prefer to march to the beat of my own drums and not follow the rules. But I’m in desperate need of assistance here. So for the month, I will be jumping on board with Bloom the Workshop’s Instagram challenge. If you’ve followed my work for long, you know that I love both Ashley & Michaela and adore being a part of Bloom and adding my flowers to some of their events. I won’t be blogging every item, but perhaps you’ll find a few inspired posts. However, if you do want to see what I’m up to, do make sure to follow along on Instagram or you can take part in the challenge too #bloomigchallenge.

And in the meantime, if you need an instant dose of cheer, head on over to Bungalow & Olives, my friend Katie is the best Christmas elf and her first snow post is sure to put a smile on your face.

A Note on Gratitude

0 · Dec 1, 2015 ·

As we’re all perfectly well aware, this is the time of year that we’re all supposed to be thankful. I’ve been trying for well over a week now to put together a post on gratitude and thankgiving. I wanted to write something profound and moving. I’ve put together draft after draft and had even committed to posting one last Wednesday and then my website host went ca-poof and the kibosh was put on that plan as my blog was down for an entire day.

My mother used to blame the devil for little acts like that. She wasn’t the type to call that boy “the devil” or give Lucifer credit for mass shootings, etc. It was the little things that she used to say were acts of the devil – things like getting into an argument on Sunday morning making us late to church. He’s sneaky like that and tries to keep you from worship.

So on Wednesday after I spent hours crafting a post about being thankful to our Heavenly Father and sending a few praises His way, this happened and my blog just didn’t exist. My mother immediately came to mind. I’m not sure if it was really his handy work or if perhaps I just wasn’t supposed to publish that draft, I wasn’t completely satisfied with it anyway.

Either way, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am over thinking it. I keep feeling like gratitude should be easy to come by. I have food on my table, a roof over my head, a beautiful family and the list goes on and on. But I’ve been searching for thankfulness and contentment still.

And then I realized I don’t need to search for it, it’s just here. It’s all around me. Why am I working so hard to find a warm and fuzzy feeling? I need to just embrace the feelings that are already in my home. My life is a mess. My business is not perfect. My kids are driving me crazy at this very moment. I will always and forever find things to tweak and change and try to perfect in my life. But I need to embrace the thankfulness in the here and now and stop looking out the windows beyond my own home.

Photography: Katie Grace Photography & Videography

“If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.” – Dorothy, Wizard of Oz.

A World without Flowers

0 · Nov 18, 2015 ·

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography

Do you ever feel small? There’s this world out there that’s full of hunger, heartache, tragedy, anger and defeat. And then there’s me, siting here warm in the comfort of my own home stressing about minuet details such as flowers and home decor. Hardly a world crisis. It makes me feel little and worthless.

When I began my flower journey I struggled with the concept of fresh flowers because it isn’t something that would last. I felt like maybe I was wasting a plant’s potential by plucking it’s blooms and placing them in a vase where they would only last a few days. And then they would be forever forgotten.

A shift in perspective from an another designer made me realize that by picking that flower and bringing it inside, I can now enjoy it for numerous hours at a time, valuing the beauty it brings to my table for those few precious days. If I had left it in the field, I may have seen it for a couple minutes as I drove by every now and then – but even attached to it’s roots, it will too eventually wither and fade away. We need to appreciate beauty while it lasts.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to add a little beauty to the world around you. I think we all need that moment of peace and refreshment. Can you imagine what the world might be like if artists stopped creating? What if Monet had never picked up a paintbrush because it was frivolous? Or think of all the great architects, what if they’d never hand carved and crafted anything and all the buildings around us were just square boxes? And what if there were no flowers?

What would it be like if we lived in a world without flowers?

When it’s More than Just Cold Feet (Part 2)

0 · Oct 29, 2015 ·

Photography: Bradley James Photography

Returning gifts, cancelling plans, pleading with vendors for a refund, thousands of dollars lost, returning your ring – cancelling your wedding is a horrid chapter of life and a very humbling moment in your story. After my last post, someone mentioned how proud I should be that I was able to make the right choice. It was hard to think of it in that light. It was much easier to feel embarrassed that I had made the wrong decision in the first place, it was easier to wonder why I had never seen what a poor match we were before. When outsiders asked how the wedding planning was going, I was ashamed to say that all planning had ceased. “We called it off.” Those words pierced me.

I felt like a lost soul. I had to re-find my single self and remember who I was without him. And that might have been one of the biggest challenges of all.

Skipping forward – how do you know this is the man your supposed to marry? That’s the question I left you with at the conclusion of Tuesday’s post. That was a question that ran through my mind for a long time. I lost a little trust in myself. I felt like my instincts were now off. I could never let something like this happen again.

All I can speak of is my own experience. But for me, there wasn’t even a shadow of a doubt that floated into my mind when the right proposal came along.

In my broken engagement, I prayed for a sign. I prayed for a closed door if this wasn’t the direction my life was supposed to go. Be careful what you pray for. A huge sign came crashing down on me and was so obvious there was not a chance I could ignore it. In my current relationship, of course I prayed for guidance but it wasn’t a scary plea. It wasn’t a prayer born out of fear, it was a prayer of wisdom and care and thankfulness.

So how did I know that I’d met the man I was supposed to marry? Everything was just different. The overall aura of the relationship was unique to any other bond I had experienced. And I might not have recognized that without my past misfortunes. There was a calmness and peace. There was a security and my self-doubt seemed to fade away. I didn’t feel like I had lost myself with him, but rather I was able to be myself. My past heartbreak gave me the confidence to move forward. I now knew what I wanted and who I wanted to be. And most importantly, I knew who I wanted to have standing beside me as I strived to be that person.

There is a happy ending on the road ahead.

“Don’t rush into love, because even in fairytales the happy ending takes place on the last page”. – author unknown

When it’s More than Just Cold Feet

0 · Oct 27, 2015 ·

Photography: Kelly Sweet Photography

This is a subject that’s been pulling on my heartstrings for awhile. However, since wedding blogs are supposed to be this blissful happy place it never seems appropriate to bring up the harsh reality that even when you said yes, you may not fulfill that journey down the aisle.

I had two brides call off their wedding this year. That’s 13% of my weddings. I don’t know if that’s an average percentage throughout the wedding industry but it is an eye opener to the fact that diamonds don’t make everything beautiful.

10 years ago I was engaged to another man. It seems like a lifetime past and I can scarcely imagine what my life would be life now had I gone through with it. Suffice to say, I wouldn’t have two beautiful daughters, I’d most likely be working some “safe” corporate job and dinner would be on the table every night at 5:30pm without a dirty dish left in the kitchen, ever. Period. And my walls would be white, but not in a textured trendy way, in the boring, non-adventurous way. They would be the bland metaphor for my life.

I’m not going to go into all the details as to why things weren’t right in my relationship. But at some point throughout the engagement time period I had this gut wrenching feeling that something was amiss. That’s a really scary feeling. I’m a very firm believer that marriage is forever and the forever in my reality was starting to feel very, very long.

I had already had 2 bridal showers. We had bought a house. Our lives were starting to merge. We were getting gifts for “us”. When you’re planning a wedding everything is go go go. You have time frames and itineraries. There are so many factors that you have to keep on top of, organize and decide that sometimes it’s really easy to lose track of all the pertinent feelings and emotions and sort those out from the tense, bridezilla moments. It’s easy to lose your grip on reality.

For me, I couldn’t pull the trigger on sending out the invitations. I stalled and stalled. There wasn’t a real reason why, I just didn’t put them in the mail. It was less than 6 weeks before my wedding and they still weren’t out. Among the list, that should have been a huge warning sign.

I can’t tell you whether or not you’ve chosen the right man. I often become very close to my brides but I still don’t see all the inner workings of the relationship. And even if you’re happy in the moment, it doesn’t mean you’ll still be happy five years from now. So what do you do? How do you know if this is the man you’re supposed to marry?

PS – This isn’t the end of the story. Sharing more on this subject later this week.

From the Heart of a Planner

“You take it on faith, you take it to the heart, the waiting is the hardest part”

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