The Day's Journal

Finding beauty in the everyday pieces of life

wedding budget

The Mathematics Behind Planning a Wedding

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Ever noticed how many numbers are involved in wedding planning?  The realization hit home again this morning after weeks of catching up on the accounting and the nasty side of running a business…and taxes. Ugh.

BHLDN Table Number | Wedding Planning Tips | The Day's Design | Clary Pfeiffer Photography

Photography: Clary Pfeiffer Photography

From an entrepreneurial standpoint, this seems obvious and expected when you own and operate a small business.  But I started thinking about this from a bride’s perspective too.  There are centerpiece calculations, seating chart dilemmas, invitation orders, meals, bridal attendants, amount of alcohol consumed, seats and modes of transportation and then the really obvious number quandary –  the dreaded budget.

This is really just the tip of the iceberg and perhaps one of the reasons that planning a wedding is so difficult.  So much of it is left to chance, predictions and mathematical calculations.

‘If Grandma Betty contributes $5,000 and Papa Joe gives us $2,000 plus we can add $8,000 from our savings and Mom and Dad said they’d contribute as much as they did for my brother’s wedding (whatever that amount was!?)  And then if we invite 150 guests, maybe 125 will show up so we can expect to pay for only 125 meals but then we have to feed our vendors so that’s an extra 10 meals but only alcohol for 125, yet there could be as many as 15 minors there so maybe we will have more to spend on wine because there should only be 110 people drinking.  And then do those tables seat 8 or 10 guests?  Maybe we can have less centerpieces which will allow us to put more towards a ceremony arbor. But Aunt Susie can’t be sitting next to Uncle Bert which will mean we can only have 7 people at that table… Should we order enough cake for all our guests?  Does everyone even like cake?  Do we rent the same amount of chairs for the ceremony and the reception – I heard lots of guests only come for the reception and my wedding party will be standing up anyway.  Or can the catering staff just move the chairs from one place to another for us? And what vendors do we tip and are there expected percentages?  Who’s going to take my 65 miscellaneously collected vintage containers home at the end of the night? And how many wedding presents can I really fit in my car…’

If that has you just a tiny bit mind boggled, know that I barely scratched the surface of all the numbers and logistics that needs to be walked through before your wedding celebration can flow seamlessly, or at least with very few hiccups involved.

As I wrote this, I started having flashbacks to this Father of the Bride moment (which is without doubt, the best wedding planning movie ever) and it’s no wonder that George Banks has a mental breakdown.

My advice?  Get rid of the superfluous buns. Hire a planner.  Relieve stress.  And I need to hire an accountant.

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Where to Draw the Line

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Earlier today I was reading a post about money saving ideas for weddings and planning on a budget.  I realize everyone has their own ideas, and it seems that all “rules” have been thrown out the window.  I myself am guilty of encouraging couples to do whatever pleases them and making the celebration truly their own, representing a happy start to their marriage.

But how far is too far?  When is an idea unique and quirky, and when is it just downright tacky?  How do you battle the frivolous and the budget conscious?

I was nodding along to the entire article, which made points about prioritizing and focusing on 3 things that you find the most important, and considering the sacrifices you’ll make if you hire a friend verse a professional to do certain tasks, such as videography among other services.  I can completely be on board with these ideas.  My jaw did not actually hit the floor until I saw a comment at the end suggesting the best way to save money is to have a potluck style reception.  Yes, in fact, this person was suggesting that you ask your guests to bring a dish to pass.  I’m not even sure where to begin with a response to that.  To me, you have crossed a line.  I cannot fathom this nor comprehend how to word this with even a little dignity and etiquette on a wedding invitation.

I would classify this as too far.  But perhaps, others find this normal?  Do they?

Harvest Table | The Day's Design | Bradley James Phtoography

Photo by Bradley James Photography

So here are some thoughts you might want to consider when you’re considering these more innovative and out-of-the-box wedding ideas:

What’s the motivation?

Is your unique idea a true representation of you or your family?  Are you serving pizza because it’s a super cheap option or because it’s a tradition in your family to eat pizza every Saturday night (not to mention, everyone love pizza, right?!)  Are you using sequined linens because you love all things glitter or because Sally did at her wedding and your wedding has to be better than hers?  Did you just see the idea on Pinterest and think it was cool or is it actually your personal decorating style?

Will it make your guests uncomfortable?

While your wedding day might be all about you and your love, it doesn’t hurt to make your guests happy too.  That super cheap wedding venue without AC might look good on paper, but when the thermometer hits 90+ in the middle of July, you might be singing a different tune.  You don’t want the most memorable part of your wedding to be the negative.  Situations can also make people feel uncomfortable.  I personally feel awkward when I’m attending a wedding that I know nothing about, inside or outside venue, formality levels, etc.  And being asked to bring a dish would simply leave me scratching my head and make me feel really uneasy, what in the world should I bring?!

Will it be fun?

People like fun.  Your wedding is celebration.  Yes, it is a serious commitment that should be honored, but to me, celebrations are a happy time.  And happy can easily translate into fun.  How are you going to celebrate your wedding date?  Make it special and have fun!

These are just a couple ideas to consider among the long list of craziness that surrounds a wedding.  As a wedding planner, I hear and see ideas quite often that leave me amazed – both in a good and bad way.  So as you’re stretching your budget, searching for different ideas and considering unique approaches to your celebrations, I simply encourage you to take just a moment to stop and think about what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and the effects it might have on those around you!

Happy Planning!

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Wedding Planning Financial Advice

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A couple weeks ago Credit Card Insider published a list of financial advice for newly engaged couples.  I was asked to contribute my tips and advice to couples, along with past brides and other wedding professionals.   Money can be a huge stress factor when it comes to the wedding planning process, and while they just shared one little blurb of what I had to say, here’s little more insight.

Parents of the Bride

Finances are a big part of planning a wedding and often a subject that couples don’t even know how to begin to approach  (Umm… Mom? Dad?  Can I get a little help here?!).  Normally I say that the very first step in wedding planning is setting a budget (and sticking to it!!), but I have started to shift a little from that.  It doesn’t do a couple much good to set of budget of say $5,000 when they’re planning on inviting 300 guests and there isn’t a caterer in the area that will provide dinner for under $25 a plate.  You’ve just blown through that budget and haven’t even fed everyone!  So the budget must be realistic for your wedding market.  Do a little research and find out what you should generally expect wedding vendors to cost.

Then set your budget and stick to it!

The engagement period leading up to your wedding can be a highly stressful time.  You are embarking upon this journey together, planning the start of your ‘happily ever after’ and on top of that there’s money being spent in every which direction.  So keep track of your spending.  Many couples choose to open a special bank account used just for the wedding purchases, and when the money’s gone they are forced to stop spending.

If your budget allows, hire a wedding planner or designer who will help you come up with a cohesive and fabulous scheme for your wedding day.  By having a plan (think blueprints or roadmap for your wedding) you can eliminate the urge to impulse buy.  All the details you need are all written in black and white which alleviates that temptation to change your mind because you saw something cute on Pinterest.  In addition, your wedding planner will help you stay accountable to your purchases.  They can help you ensure you’re spending your money where it will have the biggest impact – you’ll get more bang for your buck!

The last thing on earth you want to do is go into debt financing your wedding.  Know your limits.  If the budget is tight, consider having a small and simple dinner party to celebrate or perhaps just a cocktail reception.  Stick with what you’re comfortable with and not what others expect of you, unless of course, they’re chipping in to help foot the bill.

And have fun planning!

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Photo by the fabulous Shannon Scott {Smug Shots}

A Couple Truths about Wedding Planners

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Aqua and Pink TablePhoto by Hetler Photography

Many people hear the words “wedding planner” (or coordinator, etc) and immediately get this vision of someone who is going to come in and take over your wedding day, dictating every decision from venues to colors to day-of timelines –  creating an event that is not even close to representing you as a couple.  So we shy away from this concept, ask friends and family to help out and thinking that as brides, we can just do everything ourselves.

The second myth we hear is how expensive wedding planning services are and this is only a luxury that high end, big budget brides can afford.

Here’s the truth.  Wedding coordinators only take over the entire planning process if you want them to.  On average, it’s said that a wedding takes about 200 hours to plan.  I personally have not taken the time to do the exact math, but I think the actual number might be higher.  This is a ton of time for someone working a full time job to commit to.  Rather than having 20 separate vendors to research, meet with and keep informed you can hire a planner to articulate your vision to each and every one of them, keep all communications with them and you only have to email (call, text or whatever) ONE person to make sure EVERYTHING gets done.  Now sit down and take a load off!!

Secondly, your budget might be more planner friendly than you think.  Many planners have a variety of options on how involved they actually get with your wedding day.  You can use them as a consultant basis just to make sure you have everything covered, because let’s face it, you’ve probably never planned a wedding before!  Not sure how to construct your itinerary?  Can’t decide which linen colors will give you the best impact?  Or just need someone to make sure that the reception is set up beautifully while you’re off getting married?  I’m so glad you asked!!  Let me help you!

Packages can be tailored specifically to meet your wedding day needs, meaning you can help control the costs without losing control of your wedding day!

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PS – I have limited dates still available in 2013 and would love to chat about your 2014 wedding!

{Steps to the Altar} The Budget

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You’re engaged!  Let’s start planning – themes, venues, caterers, bridesmaids, dresses, flowers, colors, invitations, hotel rooms, hairstyles, cakes, bands, churches, officiants, coordinators, linens, photographers… and those are just the first few things that pop into your head!

Stop!  Take a deep breath.  Before you think about one more thing, the very first thing you MUST determine is your budget.  Your budget will define everything else about your wedding.

I know this is the day you’ve been dreaming about for most of your life.  Visions can get pretty elaborate.  By limiting how much money you have to spend on your wedding, you can narrow down options and avoid starting your future together in mountains of debt.  Know how much money you are able to afford.  Figure out how much your fiancé will contribute and if any contributions will be made by either of your parents.  Once you know how much you can spend, then you can start prioritizing.

If the photographer is the most important part of your wedding, start there.   Many couples find this the most important aspect of their wedding day, and rightfully so.  You’ll have these pictures for the rest of your life.  Make sure you not only love the photographer’s style, but their personality.  You need to feel at ease with your photographer, if you feel stiff and awkward around them, then your pictures will reflect that.

If the venue is the most important aspect to you, then find out how much your dream venue will cost, and see if its’ even a possibility on your budget.  But remember, venues also have rules regarding caterers and liquor and sometimes the other vendors that are allowed to provide services within their premises.  If these other vendors are going to drive your budget up, you might have to secure another venue.

Have an idea of how many people are on your guest list.  Most caterers price their meals per head; this will give you a better idea of how much the meal will actually cost, $20-50 a head might not sound like much until you multiply this by 200 guests.  One of the easiest ways to bring prices down is by condensing your guest list.  You are not obligated to invite everyone you know.  Nor are you required to ask people to come, simply because you attended theirs five years ago, when was the last time you even talked to them?  By keeping the affair smaller, not only will your budget be saved, but you will actually remember the people that were there and you can talk to every one of them.

A few facts to keep in mind:

  • The average wedding in the United States cost between $25,000-27,000.
  • Weddings in Kent County cost between $17,000-29,000, on average.  Click here for more details.
  • The average engagement ring cost $5,200
  • About 12% of couples spend more than $8,000 on the engagement ring
  • The average college graduate has about $20,000 debt
  • The average household income in Michigan is around $45,000
  • Financial problems are often cited as the #1 reason for divorce

Somehow the numbers don’t all add up for me…

So here’s a really old fashioned, crazy idea.  Once you’ve had that conversation with all parties paying for the wedding, and the budget established, and set in stone – use cash to pay for your wedding!  If you do not have the cash to pay for something, then don’t buy it, simple.

Weddings are a time of celebration.  Anyone with any amount of money can get married.  The key is not to burden yourself, piling on the debt before you even say “I do.”  Remember your plans for the future, plans that last a lot longer than one night.

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Photo by Shannon Scott Photography {Smug Shots}

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