steps to the altar

Creating a Wedding Mood Board

0 · Nov 10, 2015 ·

Refining your wedding vision is often a struggle. There are so many great ideas out there and so many amazing vendors who can help bring those visions into reality. But one of the biggest challenges I find are really clear cutting that vision and then being able to accurately describe what it is that you want to each and every artist who is playing a role in your celebration.

Descriptive terms are awesome. When a brides starts telling me that she’d like her wedding to be simple, elegant, organic and natural a certain scene begins to unfold. Then color gets added into the conversation, pale blush, ivory, champagne and greenery. The picture is officially painted in my mind at this point.

Then I skip on over to her Pinterest board. All hope begins to fade away. Suddenly I’m seeing vibrant hues of peach and green. I’ve seen swatches of white kissed with blush but I’ve also seen a pink that almost leans towards lavender. I heard the words “elegant and classic” but I’m seeing birch bark and wooden boxes which to me say more rustic and woodsy. And that’s just digging through the first 30 pins because after all, you know every girl’s wedding board is easily filled with 100+.

I’m not here to get on my Pinterest soap box because I really think it’s a great tool and I used it repeatedly. Maybe a bouquet was pinned simply because of the shape or style. Maybe the bride loved everything about a certain centerpiece but not the container. Perhaps she loved the votives on a tabletop but not necessarily everything else about the design. One can never be certain why a particular image was saved. So what I’m suggesting you do instead is hone it down for your vendors and share a simple, one page inspiration or mood board.

What is a mood board?

Just like when you’re on a romantic night out you look for a date night activity with the right atmosphere, so should you set the tone for your wedding. Romance in all in the eye of the beholder – some might enjoy a playful get-together at a carnival while others are thinking of candlelight dinners in a fine dining restaurant. Both locations set a different mood.

The key is to gather elements that evoke a certain feeling rather than focusing the exact elements that you want included in your wedding. Sometimes including non-wedding elements is another great option. Your wedding should be a reflection of you, so that includes components from your personal life too.

Isn’t my Pinterest board enough?

The truth is you probably have 5 different place card options pinned. Odds are there are about 10 cakes that you like. The number of bridal bouquets that you love are endless. But having a very simplified board to guide you and anchor you home when you begin to feel overwhelmed will help so much. Your baker probably isn’t going to scroll through your 100+ pins, but they will look at a one page to gather inspiration.

So here’s an example of one that I might put together for one of my brides based on the above description of her event. And then I share it with all of her vendors, as any good wedding planner should.

Image Credit (top row, left to right): Photography: Jose Villa, Boutonnieres: Mindy Rice Floral Design via Once Wed | Photography: Bradley James Photography, Bouquet: The Day’s Design | Cake via These Peas are Hollow

(middle row, left to right): Image via Stylish Walks | Photography: Rylee Hitcher via Once Wed | Image via Lover.ly

(bottom row, left to right): Rug via Joss & Main | Photography: Rylee Hitcher, Invitation: Meagan Tidwell

The Problem with Percentages

0 · Oct 6, 2015 ·

As I was scribbling down that title I couldn’t help but think anyone who has a distaste for math is surely going to want to read this. And of course they’ll agree, percentages are tricky and problematic. However, this is not a full on math lecture just a little advice when it comes to wedding planning.

I’ve come to the point in my season where weddings are winding down the planning is gearing up for next year. As my first consults begin, we chat about things like overall style, favorite colors and flowers, locations, priorities, fantasies, crazy proposal stories and my least favorite part of the conversation – budgets. It seems there are a couple of very common scenarios that I run into while talking numbers with couples. 1. They have an overall number in mind but have very little clue as to how that money should be allocated and how much things in “wedding land” cost. Or 2. They have pulled a budget worksheet from The Knot or Weddingwire or similar and know exactly what they’re willing to spend in each area based on the website’s recommendations.

There is nothing wrong with either one of these situations. It’s tricky to know what things cost when you’ve never planned a wedding before. I think these sample budget sheets from the various website are really helpful guidelines. But they’re just that – a guide. And they’re usually made up of percentages. The problem is the website doesn’t know your exact needs. They don’t know that you can decrease your rental amount because the venue provides super amazing chairs – chairs that also made the venue itself more expensive. They also don’t typically take into consideration the number of guests. For example – if you’re budget is $50,000, it’s recommended that approximately 30% of that budget be allocated to food and food services. If you’re inviting 300 guests, that works out to $50 per person. This includes appetizers, salads, entrees and service staff fees and gratuities. If you have a smaller wedding of around 75 guests, you’ll be spending $200 per person on their meal. Depending upon your menu selections and formality of the event, that might seem a little excessive. In the case of the smaller guest count I may recommending using some of those monies elsewhere.

The same holds true with flowers and décor. Usually about 8-12% is allotted for this part of the budget. However, fewer guests means few tables. On the flip side, the more guests you have the more centerpieces you’ll need, meaning you might not be able to do some of those extra floral showpieces you were hoping for or you might have to adjust the percentages of your budget.
So what doesn’t change with guest count? There are certain fixed costs within the planning process. Think photography, music, venue rentals and officiant fees – all necessary items that typically don’t fluctuate with the guest count.

And what if you can’t find someone who’s pricing fits within that allotted percentage? Photography can sometimes be the biggest struggle here. It’s pretty rare that I hear a bride mention that she doesn’t care about the photographer. It’s more often the case that they want the best that they can find within their budget. However, with smaller budget weddings you might have to up the percentage of that funds you’re willing to spend in this area. This is an area I truly feel that you get what you pay for and it’s the lasting memories from your day.

Prioritize. That’s my biggest piece of advice. Use these percentages as a guide but if you want the more expensive band verse a DJ, go for it. Just remember to adjust other areas of the budget accordingly, perhaps eliminated the custom invitations for premade or have your place cards and escort cards do double duty. And theirs your accounting lesson for the day. Problem solved.

Photography: Heather Cisler Photography

Dining Al Fresco

0 · Apr 23, 2015 ·

Living in Michigan means that summer is a treasure. It flies by in a blink and we try to savor every minute of it knowing that chilly breezes, crunching leaves and the first flurries of snow are just around the corner, soon to be followed by mountains of white and sub-zero temperatures. So it’s no wonder that so many brides dream of saying “I do” outdoors, celebrating not only love but also summer’s bounty.

The recent trend of inspirational images provided by brides include lots of long, winding tables, earthy tones and dinners under the stars with just a few twinkle or cafe lights thrown into the mix. Open, airy and fresh.

However, I’ve never actually planned a wedding where this vision was brought to life. Rather, this open-air concept is replaced in favor of a tented reception. Venues and properties tell you that you must rent a tent for your dinner, but is this really necessary?

It’s a risky questions to answer. I think tents provide some security, a backup plan and give us a defined location for the party. They give us protection from the sun’s burning rays and a covering should the clouds break loose. But what I’ve observed is as soon as dinner is complete, people generally stray away from the tent. Conversations are held in the fresh evening air as people venture around the property. People don’t like to be confined.

Some points to consider when debating a tent verses dining al fresco:

What is the purpose of the tent? Are you trying to define the space? Is it serving as protection from the elements? Do you love the look?
Is the reception tent also going to serve as a backup ceremony location? Rainy days mean that your outdoor ceremony might have to be relocated and the most common backup plan (for those having the ceremony and reception on the same property) is moving the nuptials under the protection of the tent.
Is heat/shade a concern? Think about what time people will be under the tent and where the sun will be located. You could possibly host dinner under the shade of a tree or perhaps you’ve timed it as the sun starts to set, which will lessen the fury of it’s rays. If it’s an afternoon meal however, guests might appreciate this guaranteed shady spot.
In what month are you hosting your event? July and August tend to bring the most heat, regardless of where in the country you’re located. In Michigan, June and September seem to be a little cooler – or at least less predictable.
Are there other buildings nearby? I’ve found that many barn weddings are accompanied by tents simply as overflow since barn might not be able to accommodate the entirety of your guests. Depending upon the size of the barn or other building, this might be an alternative shady hideaway or ceremony backup plan. Having some lounge seating will provide a great hangout spot for guests but allow you to keep the majority of your event outside.

The above picture was from an end of summer al fresco dinner with The Rental Company and Ashley Slater Photography. What the picture doesn’t show is how cold it was, tented or not, there was no protection from that!

Married in a Month

0 · Dec 30, 2014 ·

Photography: Katie Grace Photography | Floral Design: The Day’s Design

Happy Engagement Season! So cheesy, right? But I read somewhere that nearly 40% of all proposals that take place each calendar year happen between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve. And if that weren’t crazy enough, there’s another big burst ready to happen as soon as Valentine’s strikes.

This means that wedding vendors (myself included) are getting bombarded with inquires and people trying to plan their weddings – some for this year, and some for next – because it really depends on the individual as to how much time they need to plan their wedding.

Which brings me to my next point, how much time do you need? I know I’ve touched on this subject before (you can read that post here), but earlier this year I worked with a bride that decided she didn’t really know what tomorrow might bring so, forget the long engagement, let’s get married next month (she also happened to be my sister… eep, that was challenge #2!) . For real.

How in the world do you make that happen!?

First and foremost, develop a plan and stick to it. There’s no room for second guessing yourself or changing your minds. Have a few ideas of what you want your wedding to look like, feel like and the overall formality levels but remain just a little flexible.

Hopefully this spontaneous event is on the skirt or off season for weddings. This will be so helpful. Finding vendors a year out is tricky enough, but a month out? Well that’s a whole new can of worms. Remain flexible and open to recommendations from vendors who might be already booked but know someone with a similar style or budget.

Find a venue ASAP. You have to get invitations or you won’t have any guests. And it’s rather difficult to send out invites if you don’t have a location. Most weddings planned on such a short notice have a smaller guest count and tend to be more casual, so consider what’s really important to you. Will a restaurant or bed and breakfast do? Do you need a place for a DJ and dancing? Can the ceremony and reception take place in the same spot?

Stay away from diy projects. They’re tricky enough when you have 9 -18 months to complete them, but on such short notice you’re just asking to be stressed out.

Find a planner. Seriously. I’m giving you a sales pitch here but they can save you so much wasted time and frustration. If for nothing else, hire them on an hourly basis for consulting and let them steer you in the right direction.

Pray that you can find a dress off the rack. We can’t have you walking down the aisle in your pj’s. However lots of department stores also offer bridal selections, or at least formal white or ivory gowns that can be ordered and arrive within a weeks’ time. You’re going to have to give up the dream of a custom, couture gown. Sorry.

So what do you think, is a quick engagement right for you? At the end of the day, you’re married and that’s the most important thing. You’ve found the man of your dreams now you just have to figure out how to pair the perfect wedding with him.

Ribbons :: A Graceful Extension of Design

0 · Nov 13, 2014 ·

Photo by Hetler Photography

Yesterday I posted a little tidbit on my Facebook page about my love for ribbons. When it comes to ribbon on a bouquet for me it’s simple (kind of), the more the merrier and the longer the better. I spend just as much time picking the perfect accent colors, textures and styles for the ribbons as I do picking the blooms themselves. The process might seem pretty straight forward, and maybe I’m just an over thinker (scratch that – I know I’m an over thinker) but it’s really important to me that the ribbons adorning your bouquet are perfect.

You may be wondering what there is to consider, I mean your wedding colors are pink and black so the blooms are pink the ribbon should be black. Simple enough, right? That’s one possibility, definitely one that would add lots of drama. But let’s think beyond just the color palette.

I like to consider what the bouquets will be photographed against. If the bridesmaids are wearing black dresses, you’ll never see the black ribbon up against them. On the contrary, black against the bride’s dress would certainly make a huge statement and will not be missed. When they’re not being held, where might the photographer place them? Are there pretty wood floors or upholstered chairs in the bridal suite, I certainly wouldn’t want my ribbons to clash. Will they be outside against the grass or against a tree… what might the photographer be thinking?

I also think about the overall feel or theme of the wedding. I like to imagine what the ribbon will look like in conjunction with all the other décor elements. If you’re using beautiful hand-dyed silk table runners, plain grosgrain ribbon simply won’t do. Satin is classic, silk is flowy and graceful and suede is an earthy, more natural chose.

Ribbons are so beautiful blowing in the wind so if it’s an outdoor wedding (or if there’s the possibility of lots of outdoor pictures being taken) I always use lightweight ribbons that will look so carefree and elegant if the breeze should catch them. You know those gorgeous flowing veil shots that make us all swoon? Well my heart gets just as happy when I see the ribbons in motion with the wind.

Odd numbers are visually pleasing and since I can rarely decide on just one, most of my bouquets have at least 3 ribbons draping down. Sometimes I aim to combine the styles of the décor, and sometimes I focus more on extending the color palette with a cascading trail of fabric.

Personal touches such as family heirlooms, meaningful trinkets or Grandma’s handkerchief are always sweet touches and make your bouquet extra special and unique. I believe every bride should love her bouquet more than any other piece of the wedding décor, it really does become an extension of you, an expression of your personal style and stays by your side for most of the day.

Wedding Color Palettes

0 · Aug 7, 2014 ·

Photo by Eliza Jean Photography

There’s this old way of thinking that some brides still fall prey to when it comes to choosing wedding colors. Pick 2 colors that you like and that go together. 2 colors – that’s all you get. For everything. Flowers, linens, dresses, ties – everything!

I don’t know where this originated from the 80’s or 90’s or maybe sometime before – all I can say is it was long before I became a wedding planner and I remember thinking this rule was true when I was a little girl playing dress up. Friends, I think it’s time that we abolish this rule FOREVER!

Actually, I know this rule is on it’s way out the door, no doubt. But I still come across the occasional bride that tells me she’s having these two colors, end of story. So you’re dreaming of a blue and white wedding. That does not mean everything has to be blue and white. I will not dye flowers into an unnatural shade of blue for you. It’s just not meant to be. Consider adding some natural purple blooms, a pop of blue thistle and maybe a couple of white buds with some greenery. Create a color story. Consider not focusing exclusively on the colors themselves, but the overall feeling of the event.

And then consider you’re space. Like it or not, the room, venue, or area you decide to get married in, take pictures in, and dance the night away in will have a HUGE impact on the overall color scheme and the mood that is set with your event. That hideous burgundy carpet – you will notice it. Find a way to make it work and blend with your scheme. Sometime ignoring it will make it stand out even more. It’s like those pictures where one of these things is not like the other…

Trust your designers to make everything flow together and be open to slightly “outside of the box ideas”. They know the touches that make the biggest impact and have an excellent eye for color – or at least I like to think I do! Colors just make me happy and I want you to be happy too!

FAQ: What is Event Styling?

0 · Nov 22, 2013 ·

A couple weekends ago I was able to show my grandpa (who barely even knows what the internet is, much less how to actually use it), my website for the very first time. He has heard me talk about my photo shoots and weddings but never completely understood the extent of what I actually do. In his eyes, you just go to the church, stop and pick a couple flowers along the way and get married. Styling and coordination?? Not a concept he understood.

In addition, I showed him some of the pictures from my last project. After scrolling throw about 100 photos or so, he finally stopped and thoughtfully pointed to the girl on the left, “That girl, she looks just like they would have dressed in the 1930s.”

My point exactly. Someone had to style her to make that happen. Do you look at perfectly mismatched bridesmaids photos and wonder how that happened? How do they look so effortless, incredibly gorgeous and purposely placed, even though they don’t look the same? And then the flowers stand out flawlessly against all their dresses and the ribbons are the exact same hue? It all flows so completely seamless with the groomsmen attire, the invitations, tablecloths and gives off the perfect amount of causal glam? It’s because someone made that happen! Either professional or DIY, someone designed this wedding.

To put it simply, event styling or design, is interior design for your party. You hire an interior designer to pick out the perfect sofa and paint colors for your home, much the same, you hire an event designer to pick out the perfect pieces for your wedding.

What does it entail? Anything and everything pretty!! An event stylist will help you define your wedding vision, create an overall theme or inspiration board and help find all the elements to bring this vision to life. The exact process might be different for everyone, but I’ll share a little about what it’s like to work with me.

Depending upon when in the wedding process you hire me, things may vary a little, but here’s the gist. Together we’ll sit down and discuss your likes and dislikes, personal style and the overall feel you’re hoping your wedding will have. We’ll talk about inspiration and location. And then we’ll start shopping and designing! Some brides like me by their side the whole way, dress shopping, invitation selection and appointments with the pastry chefs. Other may have already picked out some of these elements or want to reserve special moments just for family. Either way works for me! I am kind of a personal shopping assistant. You’re looking for 12 pink vintage teacups? I’ll find them for you. Need 20 mercury glass vases in various sizes and shapes? I’m on it. Grey groomsmen’s suit with lavender bowties? Found it!

I’ll draw up a design plan, we’ll outline everything needed for your big day – from place cards to dessert displays – you can watch it all come to life. When it comes to setting up, no need to worry, I’ll oversee all those details while you are sitting back getting pampered and pretty.

Sounds amazing, right? I think so too! So let’s start planning your next pretty party!! (My grandpa thinks you should hire me – he’s impressed!!)

The above photo is by the fabulous Kellie of Hetler Photography and is from a super fun holiday shoot, which I can’t wait to share more of!!!

The Wedding Ceremony

0 · Aug 15, 2013 ·

Photo by Shannon Scott {Smug Shots}

Tuesday morning I dug head first into some ceremony details and timelines for my August couple. As I looked through the specifics of the service, I could not help but feel overwhelmingly excited. Seriously. There was love displayed on that page!

Now we’ve all been to the wedding ceremony that seems to never end, with rows full of antsy guests secretly wishing they’d just say “I do” already. On the other hand, I experienced the shortest wedding ceremony of life earlier this summer – the guests didn’t even have time to sit down! The wedding party made their way down the aisle, the couple said some quick vows, kissed and now they are husband and wife.

Honestly, before planning my own wedding, I wasn’t even sure what a wedding ceremony should entail, or how long it should last. Is there a right or wrong answer?

The ceremony portion of a wedding is a very personal, intimate celebration. It is an outward showing of a commitment between two people. Some people choose to make this a largely celebrated and lighthearted affair, while others keep things on a more serious note since it is such a major commitment.

The average wedding ceremony is approximately 30 minutes long. Typical ceremonies include details such as the seating of the grandparents and parents, the bridal processional, a word of welcome and declaration of intent, the VOWS, the exchanging of rings, lighting of the unity candle and then the introduction of the new Mr. & Mrs… swoon!

However, variations do occur. Some couples choose to write their own vows, which is a great personalized addition. The unity candle is often replaced with something else, such as sand or tying knots, or skipped all together. You might consider adding cultural elements and other religions also have significant pieces to their ceremonies. Couples may choose to have a biblical or other reading, or a special song sung – or perhaps the guest might even join in with a traditional hymn!

So my greatest advice would be to do what makes you happy. Make your ceremony memorable and personal. Focus on what the ceremony actually means and is representing, a love and commitment to last a lifetime.

Little Sister Getting Married!! {Weekend Update}

0 · Aug 5, 2013 ·

Oh hello Monday… so glad you’re here for another busy week! But before I start on the busy week ahead, I just must share how much fun this past weekend was.

While my sister and I have been collaborating and doing much of her wedding planning from afar (she lives on the east side of the state), it was so nice to have her visit and put so many of our plans into action! We scratched countless items off the planning list this weekend and I am unbelievable excited about how this whole celebration is coming together. A couple weeks ago I wrote a post about how long it takes to plan a wedding and in her case, she could get married next month no problem (In case you don’t remember, she was engaged mid-June so that’d be 3 month engagement!).

Her dress is breathtaking, her venue filled with classic architecture and natural light and the design plan just fits together so perfectly. Linens have been selected, invitations created and floral needs have been decided. And the cake (or should I say cakes), I am so excited about, but maybe that’s just my sweet tooth talking!

Upon leaving, I could see the disappointment in her face as most of the fun details have been found and put into place, so now what? No worries, there’s still plenty to do and the holidays will be here before you know it!

Have a great week!

And this cake picture? It’s just a sneak peek at some of the inspiration behind her gorgeous cake table. We found it on Pinterest (where else??), but I believe the original was created by Connie Cupcake.

FAQ: How Long does it Take to Plan a Wedding?

0 · Jul 11, 2013 ·

It seems lately the big question that I’ve been asked is “how long does it take to plan a wedding?”

That’s a fair question with a really loaded answer. There are so many factors that play into my response that by the time I have gathered all the details to form a response, the person asking the question may have lost interest! So I’m going to try and break this down for you… here we go!

What time of year do you want to have a wedding?

If you’re planning your celebration in prime wedding season you might need to plan ahead a little more. Summer and bordering months are more desirable and fill up quickly, not only at venues but also with other vendors.

Which brings me to the next question, how picky are you about your vendors?

If you just HAVE to have a certain photographer or if you’re day will be simply ruined if the reception doesn’t take place at XYZ Ballroom, then you might need to plan a little more in advance. I’m not saying that you won’t find quality vendors if you plan last minute nuptials, but they might not be your absolute first choice. There are approximately 22 Saturdays between May 1^st and September 30^th and not every vendor can work every single date, or has booked a wedding for each of those so you might get lucky.

On that note, have you considered a Friday wedding?

This less popular wedding day can be a great way to kick off a summer weekend and might give you and your vendors some extra options during the planning process.

How much time can you commit a week to planning?

I’ve read in several sources that a wedding takes approximately 200 hours to plan. That’s about 8 ½ days if you were to work for 24 hours straight, no sleep! Since it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to go that route, let’s look at it a little more realistically. If you worked on wedding plans for 2 hours a day, 7 days a week, it would take just over 3 months to plan or 100 days. A list of DIY projects will add extra time. But enlisting help from a planner or lots of family friends can cut that time in half.

In reality this question has a very individualized, case by case answer. I’ve planned weddings in 6 months’ time, no problem. Online planning checklists will start about a year and a half out, but no worries, they’re simply guidelines J

Thinking you want to get married in 2013? Let’s chat, I’ve heard of a couple great venues that still have availability this summer and fall and I’m up for a great challenge!

The lovely image above was captured by Bradley James Photography

3 Years Ago

0 · Jun 19, 2013 ·

I was married 3 years ago today. 3 years ago Pinterest did not exist and wedding blogs were yet to dominate the internet planning world. I purchased bridal magazines and used creations from my very own imagination. 3 years ago I had a wedding filled with rustic and earthy details that have long since been forgotten about by my guests. Timelines and seating charts are a thing of the past and my ivory taffeta gown is shoved in the back of my closet. Linens and charger plates have been returned and my gorgeous peony and wildflower bouquet has long since wilted.

So what remains from my wedding 3 years ago? A marriage.

For 3 years now I have had a man by my side. Together we have built a life full of stress, chaos and laughter. Since we said “I do” we have celebrated a life together full of family, sorrow, adventure and new life. I cannot think of a person I’d rather have by my side.

We are long since past the point of living in wedded bliss. The “honeymoon phase” dissolved quickly as argued about paint colors, kitchen remodeling plans and whether or not shoes should be worn in the house. Sometimes we go to bed angry. Sometimes I have to vent to friends and gripe about how his way of thinking is completely backwards and opposite (and clearly wrong!) from mine.

Recently I was asked how I knew that I was marrying the right man. What a loaded question! I never had that a-ha moment where I just knew that Josh was “the one”. I really didn’t even know where to begin in answering that, but after much debate here’s my conclusion. You much choose to love someone for the rest of your life. Butterflies and bliss will not last forever, so if that’s what your marriage is based on, be prepared for failure. Spend some time on your knees, I asked God every night to show me if there was a reason I should not marry Josh. He will show you. Do not take this commitment lightly, being caught up in the romance of a wedding. Make sure you can handle their cute little quirks, which will drive you crazy later. Think about what your life would be life without him, does that scenario even exist? And be prepared to never give up.

Photo by Shannon Scott {Smug Shots}

Happy Anniversary baby… I love you!!

How to Please Everyone on Your Wedding Day {The Groom}

0 · May 8, 2013 ·

“I was nervous, anxious, excited and most of all…happy. I was marrying the woman I love and knew I was able to spend the rest of my life with her.”

Photo by Shannon Scott Photography {Smug Shots}

A couple weeks ago I shared a post about pleasing everyone on your wedding day, giving little snippets about many of the people involved. You may have noticed that it was titled “How to Please Everyone on Your Wedding Day {Part 1}” – meaning there’s more to the story. So rather than being some wedding junky who rambles on, speculating about how others might feel about the weddings their involved in, I started asking around.

I am going to continue this series with the Groom. He has a pretty significant role in the wedding process, even though he is often forgotten. Other than deciding on his tux or suit, it seems like there are very few other decisions that really concern him. From my small sampling of men, I found this is how your groom really feels (and I promised them it would remain anonymous, so sorry, I cannot name my sources!)

Based on my research, it seems that guys feel a lot of pressure in the time before the actual wedding planning begins, we’ll call it the proposal planning. Once the question is popped, life becomes a little easier and they can breathe and get rid of those will-she-say-yes jitters.

After that, guess what? Sorry brides, but guys don’t care about the little details and particulars! You may have already figured that out by the glazed over look your man gets every time you start “wedding talk.” They really wish you’d stop working so hard and just enjoy being engaged. It is only for a very limited time that you can call him your fiancé. While most of the guys definitely show some concern for details like the weather, and making sure the guests have a great time, their biggest focus is marrying the woman of their dreams.

“I wish my wife [then fiancé] wasn’t so involved in the whole thing. I know this sounds negative because we had a GORGEOUS wedding…we had to do everything ourselves and I think it took a huge toll on my wife and our families.”

“I think the most important part of the day for me was being able to watch my beautiful bride walk down the aisle toward me and have her dad give her away to me, knowing we were starting our new lives together.”

“The actual ceremony [was the most important part of the wedding day]…. I also wanted to make sure all of our guests had fun too!”

Those nervous, anxious pre-proposal butterflies do seem to sneak back up on our men right before the ceremony, but I think it’s just the excitement. Once the ceremony is over, everyone can let loose and celebrate!

So ladies, how do you make this a great experience for your man? Stop bugging him with the little things – simplify the details, keep the main focus of your wedding on the beautiful life you two will be building together, and have fun!

DIY Brides

0 · May 2, 2013 ·

A couple months ago I got in touch with a bride who had discussed using my services, but never really committed. Just as a friendly follow-up, I dropped her a little note to say hello and see if she needed any help.

Her response was no, she’s more of a DIY bride.

Photo by Shannon Scott Photography {Smug Shots}

If you’re a reader of the Every Last Detail blog, then you probably saw Lauren’s post about DIY weddings today. This is actually something that’s been on my mind for quite some time now, and I did not really know how to go about explaining the complications of the DIY bride without trying to sell my services.

In reading Lauren’s post, you’ll realize DIY can have lots of interpretations. And even the DIY bride needs help sometimes. It is completely okay to admit that you’ve bit off more than you can chew, and seek assistance. There are even people (such as myself!) who will sit down and help you craft those DIY projects!!

Hiring vendors does not mean that your wedding becomes less personal and handmade details need to be lost. Hiring vendors simply means that you understand your limits and the limits of loved ones around you, and you’re willing to admit that you simply cannot do it all.

Let’s stay stress free and enjoy this beautiful West Michigan weather we have had this week!!

FAQs: When to Send Wedding Invitations

0 · Apr 30, 2013 ·

Wedding season is just around the corner (and has actually already started for some!) What does that mean for you?

For some, that means digging through wedding registries and attending celebration after celebration this summer. It might mean work is going to get super busy and spending time at the beach will be a distant dream. Or maybe it means you’ve got to kick your tail into gear, you’re getting married this summer!

For me, it means I have a stack of save-the-dates and wedding invites clipped to my refrigerator. I started receiving these “notices” in January, some in February and then a save-the-date and actual invitations in March.

So when should you send these invites out? How much of a notice do you need to provide for your guests? While there are hundreds of opinions posted all over the internet – every major wedding blog, The Knot, etc, this is still probably one of the most common questions I get asked.

Let’s just clear this up, there are no hard rules of when to send out invitations or save-the-dates. But here are some guidelines and points to consider.

Save-the-Dates:

There’s no rule stating you MUST send them out. If you’re having an out of town celebration, or your wedding is during a holiday, then I would suggest giving your guests this optional notice. This allows your guests to plan ahead, requesting time off work or saving for extra travel expenses. Plan on sending these out at least 6 months prior to your wedding date, if not sooner.

Invitations:

General rule of thumb states that wedding invites should be sent out somewhere around 6 weeks to 2 months prior to the wedding. However, if you did not send save-the-dates, consider sending them out a touch sooner. Also bear in mind when your vendors need their final head counts and when you need those RSVPs by. Be considerate of your guests and how many are coming from out of town and what travel arrangements they might have to make upon receiving that invite.

A couple other thoughts:

Try not to send out the invite too early, people tend to misplace them and put off RSVPing. If it is misplaced, that means that they have lost important information, such as locations and times… having a wedding website might come in handy at this point!
If you’re using a calligrapher, give them plenty of time to address the invites so they’re not scrambling to have them ready to be sent out on time.
Cutting it close on time? The invites still need to be mailed; please do not resort of faxing, emailing or calling your guests to invite them. By mailing all invites, you ensure that all guests receive the same information and no details are forgotten. Plus, isn’t it great to get something pretty in the mail, an envelope that you actually want to open!

The above photo is from my vintage tea party shoot last fall with Bradley James Photography. Invitation by Creative Montage.

The Pursuit of Companionship

0 · Apr 12, 2013 ·

Women like to be pursued. We like to feel wanted and loved. We love the thought of a grand romance. It’s said that women are complicated creatures and men cannot seem to figure us out, but if you treat us right, act like you like us and stay in constant pursuit then we’ll stay happy. Seems pretty simple to me.

A couple weeks ago I wrote a post about defining yourself and knowing who you are before entering into a marriage (or any relationship really). You can read more about that here. Shortly thereafter, our pastor talked about the lies that Satan will have all women believe and I thought it was a good follow-up to that post. You see, Satan is a sneaky, deceitful little guy who will have us women believing that we can depend on some guy to meet all of our needs. And when that guy fails us, we’re left holding the broken pieces with no one left to blame but ourselves.

We, as women, tend to put all of our hopes on one guy. We long for companionship. We get into the wrong relationships and think that we can “fix” him. We get wrapped up in the fairytale and the distant thought of “happily ever after.”

If we have a clear definition of who we are before entering that relationship, our visions won’t get as clouded by “love”. We are less likely to compromise ourselves for that companionship, and we can focus on being not only who we want to be, but also the person that you are looking for is looking for. Now that’s a thought to twist your head around!

Think about how Dad feels before he’s going to give his little girl away. This is the little girl he’s fought for his whole life, threatening boyfriends, setting early curfews and refusing to allow you to wear that mini skirt. Dad has fought for your purity and your well-being. Is your husband/fiancé/boyfriend doing the same? Can Daddy rest assured that this is “the one” that will constantly pursue you and keep you happy for the rest of your life?

Picture via Dennisse Lisseth

How to Please Everyone on Your Wedding Day {Part 1}

0 · Apr 4, 2013 ·

Does this sound like someone you know or (gulp)…you???

“I want this color, and those flowers, and the super expensive dress with the best photographer to capture all my painstaking details, and we better hire an awesome make-up artist so my face can look perfect. And my bridesmaids, well the can wear what I tell them to wear, I don’t care if they don’t like the shoes, IT’S MY DAY!!!”

We’ve all been around that crazy bride who is so focused on every detail around “her” day that she forgets about everyone else. Dresses, shoes, hair, make-up and nails become the topic of conversation for months. She won’t stop obsessing about the hideous dress her future mother-in-law chose, or the fact that one of her bridesmaids just got an awful haircut.

Let’s step back for just a moment. I know this is your once in a lifetime day, but there are OTHER people involved too. In all your planning, have you stopped to consider their needs???

Here are some others you might want to consider on your wedding day:

The Groom:

First and foremost, the other significant member of the wedding day is the groom. While focus does tend to be more on the bride, he has a pretty significant role too. This is the man that you decided to spend the rest of your life with; I think you could share this day with him too! Is there a special detail that you can incorporate just for him?

Take a moment and ask your groom what he finds most important about his wedding day. Many guys will simply appease their brides, and let them do all the planning. But if nothing else, in my experience, he may get a little excited about the food and/or drink selection. Let him have some input there, he deserves to have a good meal.

Let’s face it, there is more to your man than his belly, he may have emotions on his wedding day too. Make sure your photographer captures that first look, whether the first time he sees you is during your walk down the aisle, or if you have a special time to capture that moment before the ceremony. Some grooms have strong opinions on when this “first look” should be, so make sure you ask him.

The Parents:

Have you stopped to consider how your parent’s and other family members are going to feel? There are so many emotions to discover, but most of all, their baby is getting married! It is so easy to get caught up in those little details, what color the mother of the bride or groom should wear and how they should wear their hair, etc.

The bottom line is the mothers want to feel beautiful too. The last thing they need is to be forced into a dreadfully dated mother-of-the-bride’s dress, they’re already having to come to the realization that they’re old enough to have a child getting married. Let the ladies feel their best.

Your parents are also stressing. Daddy wants to make sure that his little girl is getting her dream wedding, and that the groom is good enough for his princess. Daddy is more than a checkbook during this process. While he may stand back and not say too much, I’m sure he’s thinking lots. He’s giving is little girl away!

Your family has watched you grow from a teeny little baby into the adult you are now. They have seen you take your first breathe, your first step, your first date and now “I do”. Be respectful of this during your planning process and consider their needs.

The Wedding Party:

Odds are your wedding party is pretty excited to be a part of your day. They are ready to party and celebrate with you! However, being part of a wedding can become a costly endeavor.

Consider how much money you are asking your wedding party to spend. For the ladies, there’s the bridesmaids dress, the shoes, jewelry, hair and make-up, not to mention they threw you an awesome shower and bachelorette party! For the gentlemen, again, you are asking them to rent/buy a suit or tux, shoes and… well lucky for them, they don’t have many other accessories! But that bachelor party was pretty awesome, right?

In addition, there might be additional travel costs, overnight accommodations, extra meals, snacks and travel supplies.

Ease the strain on their pocketbook by allowing the girls to pick a dress that fits into their budget. Or choose something they can truly wear again. Pick up the bill for the girl’s hair and/or makeup, or give them the option to do it themselves. The jewelry can also make a nice bridesmaid gift. Consider letting the groomsmen wear their own shoes. Or find an inexpensive suit that the guys can purchase and wear again.

The Guests:

All photos beautifully captured by Shannon Scott Photography {Smug Shots}

Last but not least, be considerate of your guests. They have traveled from near and far to celebrate with you, so focus a little on their comfort.

Welcome bags at the hotel can be a great way to start their trip. If most of the guests are from out of town, you may want to plan a couple extra activities for the day leading up to and after the wedding. Providing a little information about the local area’s sights and attractions can also be a nice touch.

If your wedding is more of a local affair, then focus more on the little details (which are actually a pretty big deal!) How long will your guests have to wait between the ceremony and the reception? Will there be a cocktail hour to keep them entertained, or is it long enough that they can run home for a bit?

Is your wedding outside in the middle of July? Providing shaded seating or personal fans would be greatly appreciated. Remember last summer when you went out to eat and the restaurant had the air conditioning cranked up so high that you spent you evening shivering in your cute little tank top? Do you remember your meal? Probably not, the focus was on your discomfort. Same applies for your guests. If they’re really uncomfortable (too hot, too cold or in really uncomfortable seats), that is what they will remember about your wedding, not all the cute DIY details that you spend hours working on.

While managing a restaurant here in Grand Rapids, the owner once told me, guests don’t notice when you do things right, but they notice when things are done wrong. For example, they won’t notice that you took care that the music was at the perfect volume, but if it’s too loud, they’ll certainly remember that.

And of course you cannot please everyone, so don’t let this be an extra stress on your big day; just take a moment to consider others. It is ultimately your day, and I am no discounting that by any means. Have fun and enjoy being surrounded by those that you love!

{Steps to the Altar} Defining Yourself

0 · Mar 21, 2013 ·

Do you know who you are? I mean, really know who you are??? Think about what makes you tick, your motivation in life and where you are headed down the road. Now list three words or phrases that describe you (don’t think real long, just quick, what first jumps into your mind?)

Was one of those words wife, girlfriend or fiancé? Do you like the sound of that? Was his name placed in front of that (ex: I am Josh’s wife… not just wife)? How does that make you feel?

Alright, I will stop with all the questioning, but I have a point. Recently, I have been in several scenarios where I was asked to tell a little about myself. My response is almost becoming robotic: wife, mother and small business owner with a Hospitality and Tourism Management degree… blah blah blah. But who cares? Is this how I am defined? Is being Josh’s wife what defines me? Wife is the first thing that comes to mind…

I read this quote yesterday from The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and it made this all come together so well, “…ancient biblical writings spoke of the husband and wife becoming one flesh. That did not mean that individuals would lose their identity; it meant that they would enter into each other’s lives in a deep and intimate way.”

In order not to lose my identity, I had to first know who I am without Josh. I rarely say I am Josh’s wife, that would imply that he owns me (for those of you who are a little less grammatical the apostrophe implies ownership). I say that I am a wife, and we do belong together, but we are a team. This is not an ownership game with us; it’s a life that we have built together. That’s how we entered this marriage. I can comfortably say this because I can still define myself without the use of my husband’s name; I know who I am, even if I do choose to label myself as “wife”.

Before you get caught up in the romance of an engagement and fulfilling your lifelong dream to walk down an aisle in a big white princess dress, make certain you know who you are and you have clearly established your own individuality. Ensure you know what you are bringing to this marriage and what you expect in return. Think of your dreams and aspirations (outside of love), will you be able to achieve these once you are married? Will you be able to work together to make these goals happen? Or will you be asked to give these up? Will you feel stifled and unhappy if you do have to give them up? This may lead to resentment towards your spouse which may not end in a happy marriage.

Photo by Kelly Lynne Photography

I am by no means an expert on the issue of marriage, so take my words lightly. I just want to encourage you to know who you are, and not lose your inner glow once you walk down the aisle. The perfectness of the “in-love” feeling is not going to last forever. But it can be the foundation for something a whole lot bigger and better. All relationships require a little give and take. Just take care that they are the right sacrifices and you wouldn’t be left feeling empty and wanting more later on.

Now stop ready silly wedding blogs and go get married! It’s time to make your own happily ever after!!!

{Steps to the Altar} The Budget

0 · Mar 5, 2013 ·

You’re engaged! Let’s start planning – themes, venues, caterers, bridesmaids, dresses, flowers, colors, invitations, hotel rooms, hairstyles, cakes, bands, churches, officiants, coordinators, linens, photographers… and those are just the first few things that pop into your head!

Stop! Take a deep breath. Before you think about one more thing, the very first thing you MUST determine is your budget. Your budget will define everything else about your wedding.

I know this is the day you’ve been dreaming about for most of your life. Visions can get pretty elaborate. By limiting how much money you have to spend on your wedding, you can narrow down options and avoid starting your future together in mountains of debt. Know how much money you are able to afford. Figure out how much your fiancé will contribute and if any contributions will be made by either of your parents. Once you know how much you can spend, then you can start prioritizing.

If the photographer is the most important part of your wedding, start there. Many couples find this the most important aspect of their wedding day, and rightfully so. You’ll have these pictures for the rest of your life. Make sure you not only love the photographer’s style, but their personality. You need to feel at ease with your photographer, if you feel stiff and awkward around them, then your pictures will reflect that.

If the venue is the most important aspect to you, then find out how much your dream venue will cost, and see if its’ even a possibility on your budget. But remember, venues also have rules regarding caterers and liquor and sometimes the other vendors that are allowed to provide services within their premises. If these other vendors are going to drive your budget up, you might have to secure another venue.

Have an idea of how many people are on your guest list. Most caterers price their meals per head; this will give you a better idea of how much the meal will actually cost, $20-50 a head might not sound like much until you multiply this by 200 guests. One of the easiest ways to bring prices down is by condensing your guest list. You are not obligated to invite everyone you know. Nor are you required to ask people to come, simply because you attended theirs five years ago, when was the last time you even talked to them? By keeping the affair smaller, not only will your budget be saved, but you will actually remember the people that were there and you can talk to every one of them.

A few facts to keep in mind:

The average wedding in the United States cost between $25,000-27,000.
Weddings in Kent County cost between $17,000-29,000, on average. Click here for more details.
The average engagement ring cost $5,200
About 12% of couples spend more than $8,000 on the engagement ring
The average college graduate has about $20,000 debt
The average household income in Michigan is around $45,000
Financial problems are often cited as the #1 reason for divorce

Somehow the numbers don’t all add up for me…

So here’s a really old fashioned, crazy idea. Once you’ve had that conversation with all parties paying for the wedding, and the budget established, and set in stone – use cash to pay for your wedding! If you do not have the cash to pay for something, then don’t buy it, simple.

Weddings are a time of celebration. Anyone with any amount of money can get married. The key is not to burden yourself, piling on the debt before you even say “I do.” Remember your plans for the future, plans that last a lot longer than one night.

Photo by Shannon Scott Photography {Smug Shots}

steps to the altar

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