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marriage advice

Secrets

0 · Dec 9, 2015 ·

Secrets | The Day's Design | Weber Photography

Photography: Weber Photography

I have a secret.

It’s a secret that might not big that big of a deal to some, but to me, it’s pretty huge. It’s consuming me and all I can think about. We’re not ready to disclose this secret to the public quite yet, but since it’s all that’s on my mind, it’s pretty hard not to give it away or accidentally let it slip in one of my posts. It’s making writing difficult and I’ve found myself avoiding this blog.

It has made me start thinking about secrets in our personal relationships. Marriage is supposed to be this open, committed bond where you share everything. You’re partners in crime and nothing is held back. So what happens when one of you has a secret?

When there’s something I don’t want to tell my spouse, I start limiting my conversations. I become quiet, distant and just avoid talking all together. It might not necessarily be a negative secret, but just the same, it can have an adverse impact on our relationship.

“The more secrets that you keep, the less opportunity you have for real intimacy” – Michelle Peterson

Although part of me thinks that I’m allowed to have some things that are cherished and sacred just to me, I can’t help but wonder how many secrets are too many? Small secrets seem fairly harmless and sometimes I feel that there are things better left unsaid. But these things remain in my heart and on my mind, should all things on my heart be voiced?

For each word left unsaid, we’re creating a wedge. A reason is being created not to trust each other.

“Love cannot build a home where lies and secrets sleep.” – unknown

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Life Adventures marriage, marriage advice, secrets, weber photography

The Pursuit of Companionship

0 · Apr 12, 2013 ·

Women like to be pursued.  We like to feel wanted and loved.  We love the thought of a grand romance. It’s said that women are complicated creatures and men cannot seem to figure us out, but if you treat us right, act like you like us and stay in constant pursuit then we’ll stay happy.  Seems pretty simple to me.

A couple weeks ago I wrote a post about defining yourself and knowing who you are before entering into a marriage (or any relationship really).  You can read more about that here.  Shortly thereafter, our pastor talked about the lies that Satan will have all women believe and I thought it was a good follow-up to that post.  You see, Satan is a sneaky, deceitful little guy who will have us women believing that we can depend on some guy to meet all of our needs.  And when that guy fails us, we’re left holding the broken pieces with no one left to blame but ourselves.

We, as women, tend to put all of our hopes on one guy.  We long for companionship.  We get into the wrong relationships and think that we can “fix” him.  We get wrapped up in the fairytale and the distant thought of “happily ever after.”

If we have a clear definition of who we are before entering that relationship, our visions won’t get as clouded by “love”.  We are less likely to compromise ourselves for that companionship, and we can focus on being not only who we want to be, but also the person that you are looking for is looking for.  Now that’s a thought to twist your head around!

Think about how Dad feels before he’s going to give his little girl away.  This is the little girl he’s fought for his whole life, threatening boyfriends, setting early curfews and refusing to allow you to wear that mini skirt.  Dad has fought for your purity and your well-being.  Is your husband/fiancé/boyfriend doing the same?  Can Daddy rest assured that this is “the one” that will constantly pursue you and keep you happy for the rest of your life?

Don't Let Anyone Dull Your Sparkle

Picture via Dennisse Lisseth

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From the Heart of a Planner, Wedding Planning & Advice companionship, don't let anyone eve dull your sparkle, marriage advice, sparkle, steps to the altar, things to do before you get married, wedding advice

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