family

The Story of my Lousy, Rotton, Good for Nothing and all Around just really Bad Day (and what it Taught Me)

0 · Feb 23, 2018 ·

The beginning of this post was drafted in a Culver’s dining room, which is where we sat for about 1 1/2 hours on Wednesday afternoon. It certainly wasn’t because their service took that long or that I couldn’t stop gorging myself on their butter burgers. It wasn’t because we didn’t have anything better to do on a Wednesday afternoon, when in fact, as of late my to-do list is just never ending. It’s definitely not one of my more frequented spots in town, we rarely even eat fast food and I can’t remember the last time I ordered a burger. No, the reason lies in the fact that I seem to be in a bit of a downward rut, stuck in a sticky place in Mom life and having a streak of really bad, rotten and lousy, seemingly good for nothing days.

Life is difficult. I’m going to start there because I feel like very few people will argue with that statement. It’s not that anything truly awful has happened to us in recent history. We’re healthy, financially secure and business is good. Hubs is settling into his new job, Gretta is doing well in school and winter is almost over. But I still feel at a loss some days, between toddler tantrums, misbehaving dogs, the stepping on toys, finding your favorite vintage dresses covered in kitty stickers, the “accidents” on the rug, the crying and whining and the constant chorus of “no’s”, the battles to get out the door in the morning and into bed at night – it all wears on a person after a while. Making me, myself guilty of being the biggest whiner in the entire scenario.

Tuesday was an especially trying day in Momland. It’s naturally an extra busy day of the week and the trials really added up. By midafternoon the struggle was winning, I went to bed early and was determined to make Wednesday a better day. Life had another idea though.

It all started when I dropped my Aldi quarter. Anyone who frequents Aldi will understand the importance of the quarter and how it is almost impossible to complete your grocery trip without one, especially with a toddler and preschooler in tow. I probably should have given up and gone home when it slipped into the abyss between my Jeep seats, never to be seen again. But I pressed onward, determined to grab the essentials. Because it’s only almost impossible. Gretta carried the bananas and bread, I juggled keeping track of Willa June while balancing the chicken, eggs, milk, Goldfish crackers and a few other items on a box top. It was tricky but we survived. Onward to our next stop.

I visit our local Lowes store almost as much as the grocery store. I knew exactly where I was headed and needed just one thing. It was meant to be a very quick stop. But after I found my needed hardware, I decided to go look at some antique brass baskets and since I was in that aisle anyway, I thought I might as well pick up the totes that I need for my studio storage, I’ll save myself a trip at a later date. To the checkout. I quickly paid, and gather my things. But before I walked out the door, I wanted to dig out my keys. My keys. Where are my keys? I emptied my purse. I emptied my pockets. I retraced my steps. I searched the parking lot. I looked in the girls coats and hoods. I looked shelves and on the floor. I re-emptied my purse. All to no avail. Eventually there were 3 other gracious Lowe’s employees assisting my with my scavenger hunt. Despite the extra sets of eyes, my keys were just gone. And the extra set were a 15 minute DRIVE away and my husband was working over an hour away. Things were not looking good.

This brings us to Culver’s, the nearest restaurant as it was already past lunch time at this point. Trying to explain that we’re walking across the busy road and through the maze of sidewalks and strip malls to a 5 year old was an interesting conversation. She didn’t like it at first, but I explained that God gave us all strong and healthy legs and that little walk wasn’t going to hurt us. As God’s child, I’m sure he get’s tired of my grumbling, whining and not taking care of my “things”. And here’s what this day taught me:

There’s Always Something to be Thankful for

It would have been really easy to be bitter and angry during this time. It was cold out. For some reason I had only worn an oversized sweater and opted to not put on a coat. Willa had to be carried the entire walk because I do not trust her, or the drivers on the busy road, to stay walking and driving in the appropriate places and to also stop where they should. My arms hurt. And I wasn’t sure how long it would be before we were able to be home and warm again.

But guess what, we have a warm house that I knew, without doubt, that we would return to. I have two little girls that I am lucky enough to be able to hold. We had the money the buy lunch, even if it wasn’t the healthiest option or what I had originally planned on doing for the day. We later passed an elderly man pushing a grocery cart, hunched over and also using a cane and it looked so challenging. I was reminded again to be thankful that we had the health and ability to use our legs. The girls were both in a really good mood during the entire ordeal, singing and happily telling everyone that “we can’t go home because we don’t have any keys.”

One Can Never to Too Prepared

I had a friend growing up whose mom always told her to wear clean underwear, because you never know when you might be in a car accident and end up in the hospital. While that’s not the only reason I think one should wear clean underwear, and if I were in a car accident that might not be the first thing on my mind – we often joked that not only do we wear clean underwear daily, but also ones that match our outfits because you just never know who might end up seeing them.

I overthink every situation. I’m usually overdressed, have extra snacks, never leave the house without the girls in matching undies, pants, coats, shoes, hats, pink hairbows – the package is always complete, whether we’re just running to Meijer real quick or headed to a fancy party. Wednesday was the ONE DAY probably all year that I didn’t properly comb Willa’s hair and was too lazy to dig out a hairbow. I was too tired to make Gretta put on her warm snow boots after preschool, because the ground was dry and it wasn’t snowing – it seemed a little unnecessary. I also did not have an extra set of mittens in the car. All of those things would have been nice and warm and convenient. And much of it is for vanity’s sake, but it’s like running into your ex while wearing sweatpants and without makeup on and you sort of want to hide in the corner so he doesn’t see you. There’s a reason that I take the time to pack snacks and do what I do. Instead I felt like we were on display for over 4 hours. Keep a coat and hats and mittens in your car (even though in this case I couldn’t have gotten to them because my car was locked, and my keys were missing). I will continue to always be prepared, reminding myself of the lessons of this day and no longer feeling foolish for what might seem like crazy, ocd tendancies.

Always Extend Grace

I am that person who is entirely guilty of making fun of those who wear pajamas in public and often find myself wondering if people bothered to look in a mirror before they left the house. But if you read point 2, then you know that we weren’t exactly looking our prime, especially with our red noses and the wind whipping us about. It’s a little thing, but I really think I need to stop judging people. I don’t know what their day held, what trials are going on in their lives and where their priorities for the day lie.

Grace /grās/ noun

courteous goodwill
(in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.

Doesn’t that sound like something we could all use – both definitions?

I’m not trying to make the mundane if life sound funny or more important than it is. I know there are people out there will real struggles – hunger, poverty, infertility, job loss – the list could go on for hours. And I often feel guilty when I find myself grumpy, in a bad mood or claiming to have had a “bad day” just because a series of unfortunate and less than pleasant events took place, which really makes me feel even worse. Just extend grace and find gratitude, regardless of the situation.

Choose Grace | The Day's Dream | Hetler Photography

Photography: Hetler Photography

For those of you hoping that I’ll finish my story. The happy ending is the lessons I learned. The end of the story is that after 4 1/2 hours my husband was able to come and pick us up (we killed some time walking around Meijer after our extended Culver’s visit – they share a parking lot, thank goodness!) He dropped us off at home, went back to work and the dog went outside and rolled in some poop. So instead of unloading groceries and catching up on missed emails for the day, I gave the dog a bath. It’s two days later now and my keys are still gone.

Our Autumn Family Photo Session

0 · Feb 22, 2017 ·

I got up early this morning to do a little writing and try to catch up on life before the rest of the house sprung to life. I quietly crept out of bed, shimmied past the dog and sneaked into the bathroom. I kept the lights off and made my way to the coffee maker managing to adjust my vision and not stub my toe. So far, so good. But the second that cupboard door opened, sure enough I hear the patter of little feet on the cold tile floor. Apparently coffee awakens the four year old soul as well.

Measured in the dark, the coffee this morning is was not exactly my best ever. It’s funny how different life is in just four short years. Back then, I would have never imagined life today as I hear little voices in the background talking to Smelly Nelly (our cat) and reading tales of Fancy Nancy and fairy princesses. I would have never realized what a luxury waking up early and having a few quite moments to yourself really is. Although, I don’t think I would change it for the world.

Toward the end of October, I reminded myself that we need to preserve these moments just as we are, so we headed out into the crisp autumn air with my dear friend Kellie (of Hetler Photography). It was just before Gretta’s fourth birthday. Willa June had just pasted 18 months and I can still remember our spring time session with Gretta at that age. Gretta was so much more cooperative. But all the same, it was a moment, a memory, and I never want to forget these days.

So on this day, I’ll remember Gretta’s spunk and flowing pig tails. I’ll think back to how determined she was to be the best big sister and comfort Willa June’s unease. I’ll remember Willa’s stubborn disapproval of the entire day. And those big blue eyes. I don’t know where they came from but I love them.

Photography: Hetler Photography

There’s a different memory and lesson to be learned from each day. Some good, some bad. I’m slowly learning to savor them all – from early morning coffee to a meltdown in an autumn wheat field. This is our one and only life.

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Less Work More Life

0 · Dec 10, 2015 ·

Photography: Katie Grace Photography

If you follow me on Instagram then you’ve probably noticed that I’ve been completing the #risingtidechallenge this week. (If you haven’t heard about the Rising Tide Society, you can read more about it here.) Today is day 4 of the challenge and it’s all about living life, backing away from work and focusing on why we’re doing things – what matters most.

I’ve been contemplating how I’m going to answer this challenge. Obviously it’s my family that I’m working so hard for. It’s so I can help support, put food on the table and assist in keeping a roof over our heads. I work from home so we don’t have to put our kids in daycare, so we can have fun family movie nights and put up a glittering Christmas tree that will be loved all day long. I work for my clients, being a part of their stories and bringing their celebrations to life. But secretly, I work for myself too. Because truth be told, I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t working towards something. I’m not the type of person to be content without a dream and a little dirt under my nails. And I work so I can keep on dreaming.

This morning, however, I had a breakdown. I was up against a naughty toddler, deadlines and the wish the take a shower. I keep getting thrown into the category of a “stay at home mom”, as if I had no obligations other than my children, and it boils my blood. I work from home, I take care of two little girls while I’m crafting backdrops, answering emails, blogging, finding caterers, processing flower orders, etc. I challenge any of you with 9:00-5:00 jobs to take your kids with you for a day or two, you might not be able to keep your jobs for long. That’s how I feel. So as such, I often find myself stretched a little thin. It doesn’t always feel like a blessing to be able to stay at home with my girls all day. At times it feels more like a trap. Some days I just feel cursed. That’s how I felt this morning.

Going back to focusing why I’m doing what I’m doing – and sometimes I just can’t channel the gratitude and response that I know I should be writing. I should have just posted a big old picture of my family on Instagram, said they’re what matter most and moved on with my day. But at the moment it just didn’t feel sincere. I’m the type that would rather stay silent then just say what everyone wants to hear.

And then Willa June smiled at me. It was more than just a smile, there was a twinkle in her little 9 month old eye. We connected in a way that was just beyond route diaper changes and feedings. It was then I realized that I couldn’t let someone else watch her and take that away from me. These are mommy moments and they’re mine.

This is for all the entrepreneurs and family-preneurs out there – it seems like others have it all together. It seems like so many others have figured out how to do and have it all. But I’m challenging you to realize that it’s a rollercoaster ride. Some days are beautiful and productive and some days I’m in yoga pants, shower-less and wishing that I had never had kids. Even though it seems like it, I know I cannot possibly be the only one who feels like the minority. I can’t gush about my kids and husband 24/7 because while I love them all dearly, sometimes they drive me absolutely to the edge.

I work so I can have a life – whatever that life may be. I work so my dreams can become bigger dreams and someday reality. I work so my family can be a part of that life and those dreams, constantly seeking the balance between the two. And maybe someday I can also be part of my baby girls’ dreams, whatever they will be.

Family: Your Best & Worse Fans

0 · Oct 15, 2015 ·

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography

To my dearest family and friends – I love you all so much and thank you for reading my blog. This is not aimed at anyone in particular and please don’t take offense, this is written as a generalized business note. Please continue to be my biggest cheerleaders and best fans (and send lots of clients my way!). xo

You remember that episode of Friends where Monica is asked to cater her mother’s fancy party, but her mom has very little faith in her and so she sticks a few lasagnas in the freezer just in case she “pulls a Monica”? Does that feeling ever seem all too familiar?

Our families tend to be a biggest fans and worst critics. They’ll tell you they love you and believe in you, but then put a backup meal in the freezer. I’ve worked 30 + weddings on my own, made hundreds of flower arrangements and have a pretty awesome portfolio to prove it. But when they ask me to plan one teeny little party or create a small bouquet, they’re constantly checking in on me – like I don’t know what I’m doing. What gives?

Our family and friends have the very best of intentions, but sometimes they’re actually doing more harm than good. They try to give you good business advice. They tell you where to advertise and who to network with. They want to cheer you on. And they’ve been by your side as you grow. They watched your hobby become your career. They were there when your blog had 2 readers and they’re still there now that you have 200+ a day. The problem is, unlike an outsider, a new bride/client/business contact or whomever, they’ve seen you at your lowest and it’s hard to remember that you’ve grown up.

Think of your best friend from high school. Remember her snot-nosed little kid brother? How old is he? 11? He’ll forever be 11 in your mind, it’s hard to see him now that he’s 25 and a grown man starting a family – he’s just a kid! I suppose it’s the same for your family and your business. I’ll always be a little girl.

To conquer this – build yourself a kick butt website and show them! I still find myself having to fight the urge to roll my eyes when a friend of mine asks if I have a website. Of course I do, and it’s really impressive and helps me book some amazing couples. And I’ve been published, lots. I have great reviews. I might work out of my garage sometimes, but hey, everyone has to start somewhere. I was fully booked this summer, so someone somewhere believes in me.

Then remember that your family isn’t necessarily your “ideal client”. They may or may not have any familiarity in your industry and they don’t know who the key players are and how your work compares. They don’t stay current on wedding trends. They don’t know that your flower arrangements hardly hold a candle to Mr. Big Fancy Pants Designer’s because they haven’t seen Mr. Big Fancy Pants Designer’s work. So take their compliment whether it’s your best work or if you’ve seen better. Your brides might not have seen Mr. Big Fancy Pants Designer’s work either, and even if they have, they’ve come to you for a reason.

Step back from your friends weddings. Sure it’s flattering to be asked to be a part of a celebration of someone who is so close to you. And I love it when Mom sends a client my way. But again, sometimes they aren’t the right fit. Maybe they saw your website and passed and then Mommy told them all about her amazingly talented daughter (that’s you!) and they revisited it. Your mom might give you a little attitude for not taking it on, but your works suffers when you aren’t inspired, there’s a reason they didn’t connect with you right away. In the end, you probably did all parties involved a favor by understanding that you don’t have to work with every client that comes your way.

My advice it to take it all with a grain of salt. Whether it’s Mr. Big Fancy Pants Designer’s business advice or a heart to heart with your husband or Mom and Dad, you have to go with your gut. Don’t do things because someone else did or told you to. If it doesn’t feel right, it won’t turn out right because you must stay true to yourself. Not all paths to success are the same, you must find your own.

At the Heart of Business

0 · Apr 3, 2014 ·

There’s a line at the beginning of Dirty Dancing where Mr. Houseman is bragging a little about his daughters (if you’ve never watched Dirty Dancing – you can stop reading this right now, we are no longer friends!)

“My Baby is going to change the world”

“And what are you going to do?” (referring to Lisa)

“Oh Lisa is going to decorate it.”

Seems pretty shallow and materialistic, right? Baby is going into the Peace Corps, and Lisa will decorate. Sometimes I feel like Lisa. I sit around all day looking at pretty inspiration, flowers, dresses and linen samples. I dream up cake ideas and research invitations options. Am I simply feeding an attitude of discontentment and always wanting more? Am I contributing to this sour mindset that seems to drive the wedding industry causing people to spend insane amounts of money on ONE day? And does what I’m doing actually matter?

It’s the motivation behind what I do that actually matters. So yes, what I’m doing matters. But the key is not to lose focus on what makes you get out of bed each day, makes you talk to another bride and then add some gorgeous blooms to a vase. I am certainly not trying to get rich and I want people to be a peace with their spending decisions.

Meet Gretta. She’s the reason I need to pay the bills, work from home and find balance between wedding work and life.

Photo by Ashley Slater Photography

But even before she came into existence, I knew that I wanted to be a part of the wedding industry. So what’s so special about the wedding industry, you ask? Everything – it’s magic. As a little girl I dreamt up endless wedding scenarios for myself, purple flowers, sheer tents, little white chapels and dresses with puffy sleeves (hey, I’m a product of the 80’s!). My mother and aunts kept me surrounded by paint swatches, fabric samples and all things interior design. So naturally, creative energies surrounded me, they bring me home. There’s nothing wrong with adding beauty to your surroundings.

However, as I’ve grown, it’s also this concept of “home” that drives me. My family is amazing, crazy, but amazing. Not everyone gets to be a part of something like my family and I feel sad for them. If you’ve ever watched While You Were Sleeping, that crazy, overly involved, obnoxiously loud but always has each other’s back type family is the closest I can come to describing mine. This mashed up conversation totally hits home. So in the same way, I want to help create the start of family. I love being a part of the wedding celebration because it’s the beginning of something new, a new family, a new journey and it should be a happy (somewhat stress free) one. Being a part of that is awesome!

And after my own wedding, I knew the importance of my job even more. I was one stressed out, frazzled bride who was barely able to enjoy her wedding day. I simple cannot handle the thought of you making the same mistake. The beauty in the wedding day is the vows, love and commitment shared with family and friends.

It’s easy to become obsessed with the publicity, competition, Facebook fans and making each event better than the one before. But sometimes we need to step back, stop the comparison, and focus on what matters most. This is the heart of my business.

How to Run Your Business like a 4 Year Old

0 · Mar 3, 2014 ·

Last week I had the pleasure of my niece’s company. She’s four and it was a little challenging… okay, A LOT challenging. There were moments of laughter, annoyance and pure amazement, just wondering how her little innocent and overly imaginative mind works (to all you moms with 2+ kids, I applaud you).

And throughout her visit I began to wonder, what would it be like if I ran my business like a four year old?

First off, I wouldn’t care what anyone thought of me. I would do something simply because that’s how I want to do things, and it’s my way or the highway. She wears hairbows with her pajamas, walks around with a laundry basket on her head and is constantly delegating tasks to me (right, wrong or otherwise!) She dances to the beat of her own drum and just does what she loves. May she always stay true.

Additionally, I would not be scared to ask questions. Lots of them. Every five minutes. Knowledge is power friends. Sometimes I feel so scared to ask questions that I never learn what I truly need to know for fear of sounding dumb. But this is learning at its best – and yes, it can be over the top annoying at times but humor her (and humor your colleges, peers and associates – they’re only trying to better themselves). I think people can all learn from one another.

This little lady sings her own praises and tells me when she’s good at something. For me, this is tough. I’ve always been taught not to be boastful or brag. But if I don’t do any self promotion, then my talents will never be recognized. I can’t just expect people to want to hire me out of the blue without any prior knowledge of my creativity or if I’m not willing to share my strengths. The key here is to keep it humble and always keep in mind where your talents came from.

I would continue to fight for what I want. Without complete understanding of the age difference between her and Gretta (who is 15 months), she was constantly pushing Gretta forward, trying to get her to do what she wanted. And the same goes for the cat. Even though it was an uphill and hopeless battle, it never stopped her. She never saw the situation as impossible, it just meant that she had to try harder, explain herself better and possibly talk louder.

And there would be breaks for playtime. A time to rest is desperately needed. Give your head a break and let the creative process start all over again.

The world would constantly be filled with wonder. Comparison wouldn’t be a thief of my time. Life would remain fresh.

Never underestimate the power of stepping back and looking at the world through someone else’s eyes. You never know what you might see.

All photos of my adorable little niece are courtesy of Bradley James Photography. I simply never tire of their gorgeous work.

Little Sister Getting Married {To Be Continued}

0 · Jan 14, 2014 ·

I have fairly openly blogged about my little sister’s wedding, a little more-so than with other brides and projects I’m working on. Her wedding has truly been a labor of love with lots of gorgeous details in the works. There’s also been a lot of anticipation for this event; I hear buzz from wedding guests, other vendors and friends alike. “You’re going to blog the results, right???” I can’t even count the number of times those words have been said.

But the piece of the wedding that makes the day so beautiful is the love, commitment and the person you have waiting for you at the end of the aisle. And sometimes throughout the planning process another truth is presented. Sometimes you realize that your family is perfect just the way it is.

Photo by Bradley James Photography

While its human nature to long for companionship, I truly believe the best relationships might be the ones that are right in front of you – your family, your best friend, your beautiful little girl. Your {future} spouse may not necessarily make your life complete.

My little sister is completely heartbroken after making the tough decision to call off her wedding, which was supposed to have taken place past weekend. It’s a brave and bold choice to make. But I fully support her decision and know from the bottom of my heart that she will triumph over this.

I originally thought that this would be the final post in the “Little Sister Getting Married” series, however I have rethought this. It’s just To Be Continued, a little stalling period to keep the audience in suspense. I have no doubt that the best in her life is yet to come.

Merry Christmas

0 · Dec 28, 2013 ·

My Facebook page informed me that it has been 8 days since I’ve posted anything “your audience wants to hear from you!!” Ha. I’m sure you’re all on the edge of your seatings wondering what’s happening over here! Actually, I feel as though I just dissolved into the magic of the holidays, celebrating family and togetherness in its entire splendor. Nope, no “Happy Holidays” message from The Day’s Design. Sorry, social media just didn’t find its way into my merriness!

However, that doesn’t mean that good wishes into the New Year aren’t bestowed upon you. It also doesn’t mean I didn’t wish you a Merry Christmas.

Sadly, someone I know who did post something on social media about her Christmas and it’s true meaning found herself the victim of criticism and hurtful backlash – which boiled down to calling her a hypocrite because she put Christ at the center of Christmas but also loved receiving lots of Christmas presents.

To that I would say this – everyone is entitled to their own version of what Christmas represents. I love giving presents and yes, I like to receive them too. I love to shop and find the perfect gift. I love the ribbons and the bows. Fires, hot cocoa, the smell of evergreen and the twinkle of lights warm my heart. But most of all, Christ is at the center of my Christmas. He is the reason that I celebrate. Without Him, I can see no purpose for joy, hope or merriment. The future is dark and there’s no reason to think that there are better things to come.

There are many views regarding the meaning of Christmas. The reason for my season though, is gratitude. I have a heart of thanksgiving, not only at Christmas, but throughout the year, celebrating all that God has done, provided and given me. Christmas is just that additional opportunity to spread that cheer.

So even though I’m three days late, know that my heart was with you, wishing all the very merriest of Christmases and a wonderful New Year!!

From our family to yours !! Picture by my dear friends at Hetler Photography

Reality Check

0 · Apr 15, 2013 ·

I had a bad day today. Baby girl was being super fussy, I was late for a meeting with a client (which I hate, hate, hate!) and I was trying to get some work done and figure out what to blog. On top of it all, I was working on finances, which is stressful in both my personal and business life. I’m trying to build a business based on love, commitment and happily ever after – not an easy task when you’re having a “bad” day.

And then I was faced with a huge reality check. The news is blasting stories about the tragedy in Boston. Life is suddenly put back into perspective. I am having a bad day? I don’t think so! I cannot imagine living through an event such as the disaster at the Boston Marathon. What evil has overcome the world?

There are people every day that live in constant fear and uncertainty. Victims of hurricane Sandy are still homeless, parents in Newton are still childless and those in Boston are being warned to stay away from crowds and stay indoors because who knows what will happen next. In a flash, life was changed forever.

Meanwhile, I am nice and warm on my sofa staring at flowers and home décor ideas, wishing my Pottery Barn pillows were a different color. What a spoiled little American I am!

While we cannot live our lives in constant fear, we also need to realize that any moment could be our last. Snuggle with your children, your husband/significant other and don’t push those relationships away. Don’t put things off until tomorrow. Call your mom. Have the lonely neighbor over for coffee. Tell your sister that you love her. Nurture broken relationships. Find balance in your work and personal lives. Sign off from social media and have a real conversation with someone. Do not take tomorrow for granted and make every moment count.

This pep talk is designed to be motivation for myself, just as much as anyone else. Yes, I am guilty of not taking my own advice. But stop and think, what are the moments in life that I am missing?

Just a few Instagram moments that I am glad I did not miss this month… I have the best family! What moments are you thankful for???

family

There’s Always Something to be Thankful for

One Can Never to Too Prepared

Always Extend Grace

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