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comparison

More Negative…

0 · Feb 10, 2014 ·

“Monday Monday, can’t trust that day.” – Remember that old song by The Mammas & The Pappas?  I was thinking about it yesterday morning as I was getting ready for church.  I was thinking that I’m ready to change the lyrics to “Sunday Sunday, can’t trust that day.” It seems that Sunday has been a day of surprises for my family lately, and not necessarily pleasant ones.

Blowing Confetti | The Day's Design | Heather Cisler Photography

I may have mentioned this before, but my mother used to say that the Devil always had way of sneaking in on Sundays, doing everything in his power to stop you from going to church and being able to worship.  As I’ve grown up, I believe this more and more.  He tried hard, but didn’t win yesterday.

It’s funny, on Saturday I stared to write a post following up on my discussion about negativity from last Monday.  It was in fact the most popular blog post I have ever written.  The purpose of the Saturday’s draft was to dig a little deeper into why negative things impact us so much.  And there was also a little update on my current “leaky” situation.  And now today I have a new update… that post is old news.

So here we are one week from when I first discovered the drip in my ceiling which lead to the creation of the enormous hole.  My previous statement about there not being any damage other than the ceiling needs to be retracted.  It appears that new floors might in our future, however not in our budget.  In addition, we have sprung another leak.  Pretty exciting, huh?  My bathroom is now dripping too, and not from the faucet.

The point of blogging about all this?  I am not looking for sympathy or pity.  Actually, I’m laughing about the situation.  It’s kind of funny in its own twisted way.   Simply put, A LOT of the things that sneak into my life in the form of negativity have to do with comparison.  It is easy to compare yourself to someone across the internet, who seemingly has this prefect life, gorgeous office and booming business.  They have a lovely and ideal family, live in the suburbs with 2.5 children, a flashy SUV and no worries.  Their Instagram feed is meant to inspire, but actually makes you feel like less of a person since their home is spotless and you just tripped over the dog, 3 toys and spilled your generic brand coffee all over your rug.  Trust me, my house is not normally worth taking a picture of.  My desk? You haven’t seen it on social media for a reason.  I live in the real world with babies and spills and beat up old, second hand furniture.

The point is this: there is so much truth to the saying “comparison is the thief of all joy”.  Negativity is all in the interpretation.  If it makes you feel poorly about yourself, then I consider that negative – even if it isn’t something that the general public would classify in that way.

Even stranger, all of this was on my mind yesterday morning and then our pastor preached about comparison and finances which really drove the point home.  My housing situation could be so much worse, I am lucky to have a home. So today I am grateful for my home, the sunshine and this week of love – in which I’m going to have another featured over on Burnett’s Boards in conjunction with Heather Cisler Photography!

Have a great week friends!

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From the Heart of a Planner Ashely Slater Photography, comparison, grand rapids wedding planner, Michigan wedding blog, Negativity, Steering Away from Negative Town, the day's design, wedding bouque, west michigan wedding planner

Our Social Connection

0 · Jul 31, 2013 ·

Social media is this worldwide phenomenon that keeps us oh so connected with people that we might otherwise never see or speak to, or at least have a very limited contact to.  Thanks to Twitter, Facebook and Instagram I can now know what my high school crush’s first baby not only looks like, but also know the exact moment that they took their first steps and said “mama”.  I am able to connect with other wedding professionals across the country and see the mock ups they created for their clients today or know that they’re having a slow week.  Through the magic of selfies I now know exactly how much eye make-up my friends are wearing, if they are having a bad hair day and what shade of pink their blouse is.  I see when someone splurged on a new Coach bag, is drinking coffee at their desk, in the middle of a brand re-launch or if their hubby bought them flowers “just because”.  I feel so connected.

But am I really???

While we might post the random comment expressing a strong distaste for some political movement or a fit of road rage, we really don’t let our true selves shine through.  In reality, we create this online “virtual version” of ourselves, sharing only the side of us that we really want people to see, usually the more positive one.  We showcase our fabulous lives, the glitz and the glam, nights out on the town and the high end purchases we just made on our huge shopping spree.  What we don’t share is the credit card debt or the blisters on our toes from the amazing 4 inches heels that you just had to party like a rock star in.  In a sense we’re branding ourselves.  We’re all our own paparazzi and PR professionals.  We broadcast our lives in the light that we want others to see it in.

I don’t really know what it’s like to be you.  I don’t know what makes your worry or how insecure you are about your next move in life.  I may read your blog and see your triple post across Twitter, Facebook and Instagram (is it really that important that I see it all three times???), but what I don’t know what really makes you tick, what’s keeping you up at night or gets under your skin.  Since I have a this false sense of knowledge about how peachy your life is, I use it as an excuse not to pick up the phone and call or meet for coffee and stay really connected.  The sound of people’s voices is becoming a piece of the past as text replaces talk.

We laugh that future generations won’t know how to write, other than the short hand versions we use in texting and proper grammar might be lost forever.  But could we also loose the feeling of actual human contact as well?

Just some thoughts on my mind lately, as I have found that I compare myself to other professionals, thinking the grass is much greener on their side of the fence (or town or country).  I am discouraged by their success not taking into account their failures.   I by no means am saying that I’m getting rid of social media or dislike checking my Facebook page and Instagram feed, I just want to keep things in perspective.  I love to see what others are up to. I want to see your vacations photos and be jealous of your time at the beach. I enjoy seeing your children grow and your thoughts on life.  Sometimes you even inspire me.  But I also want to see the real live version of your face and connect on a more personal level.  I want you to know that I really do care and I want to be you friend, to share your sorrows, joys and all life’s happy moments.

Best Friends

Photo by Shannon Scott {Smug Shots}

Let’s create friendships that last!!

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From the Heart of a Planner comparison, facebook, grand rapids wedding planner, Heart to heart chats, Instagram, social media, the day's design, twitter

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