Wedding Planning & Advice

The Cake Debate

0 · Jul 24, 2013 ·

TeaParty-21

Who started this silly tradition about saving your wedding cake to eat on your first anniversary? Here’s your little history lesson for the day…

Once upon a time people got married, got pregnant and had a baby. Bam, bam, bam. So these celebrations were often fairly close together and once the baby was born a christening celebration was held. And of course when we celebrate, we eat cake. Around the 19^th century, tiered wedding cakes became increasingly popular and the top tier was left over in many instances, so it was saved to be served at the christening celebration.

In more modern day, the amount of time that separates the wedding and christening has increased, so couples have opted for enjoying their cake in celebration of their first anniversary. Cakes originally were more of a dense fruitcake that lasted well over time (without modern refrigeration methods), rather than the light, fluffy buttercream covered versions we enjoy today.

So should you honor this tradition? It’s completely up to you. Many bakers will now recreate a mini cake for you to enjoy on your anniversary, which is a great option. I personally saved my wedding cake, and it was surprisingly delicious! I would have never guessed it was year old freezer cake.

If you decide to honor tradition, here’s how I saved mine (although your baker might have some additional tips for you!):

Refrigerate the cake to ensure the outside frosting is nice and firm for handling.
Wrap the cake in plastic wrap, ensuring the entire surface area of the cake is completely covered.
Next wrap the cake in aluminum foil, again covering the entire cake.
Place the wrapped cake into a large freezer bag and seal.
Enjoy in 1 year!!

*This is not a fool proof method, but it definitely worked for me!

Now you can have your cake and eat it too!

Photo by Bradley James Photography

FAQ: How Long does it Take to Plan a Wedding?

0 · Jul 11, 2013 ·

It seems lately the big question that I’ve been asked is “how long does it take to plan a wedding?”

That’s a fair question with a really loaded answer. There are so many factors that play into my response that by the time I have gathered all the details to form a response, the person asking the question may have lost interest! So I’m going to try and break this down for you… here we go!

What time of year do you want to have a wedding?

If you’re planning your celebration in prime wedding season you might need to plan ahead a little more. Summer and bordering months are more desirable and fill up quickly, not only at venues but also with other vendors.

Which brings me to the next question, how picky are you about your vendors?

If you just HAVE to have a certain photographer or if you’re day will be simply ruined if the reception doesn’t take place at XYZ Ballroom, then you might need to plan a little more in advance. I’m not saying that you won’t find quality vendors if you plan last minute nuptials, but they might not be your absolute first choice. There are approximately 22 Saturdays between May 1^st and September 30^th and not every vendor can work every single date, or has booked a wedding for each of those so you might get lucky.

On that note, have you considered a Friday wedding?

This less popular wedding day can be a great way to kick off a summer weekend and might give you and your vendors some extra options during the planning process.

How much time can you commit a week to planning?

I’ve read in several sources that a wedding takes approximately 200 hours to plan. That’s about 8 ½ days if you were to work for 24 hours straight, no sleep! Since it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to go that route, let’s look at it a little more realistically. If you worked on wedding plans for 2 hours a day, 7 days a week, it would take just over 3 months to plan or 100 days. A list of DIY projects will add extra time. But enlisting help from a planner or lots of family friends can cut that time in half.

In reality this question has a very individualized, case by case answer. I’ve planned weddings in 6 months’ time, no problem. Online planning checklists will start about a year and a half out, but no worries, they’re simply guidelines J

Thinking you want to get married in 2013? Let’s chat, I’ve heard of a couple great venues that still have availability this summer and fall and I’m up for a great challenge!

The lovely image above was captured by Bradley James Photography

Little Sister Getting Married!! {The Venue Search}

0 · Jul 3, 2013 ·

When you’re not the one getting married, it’s often very easy to judge how you would do things differently or how you might think a couple is going about the planning process all wrong. First off, let me just say that no two weddings are exactly alike. There are so many more feelings and emotions that go into a wedding, beyond venue choices, timelines and entrees.

My little sister is getting married (yay!) and as a good older sister who just happens to be a wedding planner, I’m helping her plan her wedding. So here’s the truth, I have a hundred thousand gorgeous ideas swimming around in my head just based on the very few descriptive words she’s provided me with about her dream day. From those hundred thousand gorgeous ideas, I have to narrow it down (with her help of course) to the ones that truly represent her and her relationship, and will also fit within her budget without having the sacrifice the sanity of those around her and without stepping on toes and tell Mom to back off (sorry Mom if you’re reading this!) That’s a lot to handle. She truly might be one of my most difficult clients because there is so much extra emotion there. My sister deserves the absolute very best.

As we’ve began this journey together, a mere 3 ½ weeks since he proposed, my sister is finding herself shoulders deep in venue research and trying to secure the perfect location, time and date. So going back to judging other people’s process, that’s exactly what I’m trying not to do. It’s easy for me to say “if I were getting married I’d do this…” or pick out the most gorgeous venue ever, when in fact I’m not the one footing the bill. So as a wedding planner, I have to put myself into my client’s shoes, and remember to treat her as a client, and not just as my little sister that I can boss around.

So here’s what you should really ask as you’re trying to settle on a wedding location:

What is the overall feel or mood I’d like to set for my wedding?
Do I want the ceremony and reception in the same location?
What is the most important thing about venue to me? Aesthetics? Price? Functionality?
How will this venue affect my décor budget? A really awesome space can sometime eliminate the need for lots of extra flowers and fluff, whereas a less attractive area may need some extra design help.
Who provides the catering? Am I limited to certain caterers or is in-house catering the only option? Then consider their prices.
What is the lighting like, especially during the time of day you are planning your event? Will it lend to the type of pictures and mood you’d like to have in these keepsakes?

Choosing a venue can be a lot like buying a home. I was house shopping with my parents recently and the realtor said when you find the right house, it will speak to you. Does the space speak to you? Are you going to want pictures of this space years from now?

And in case you don’t follow along on Instagram, here is one of the fabulous spaces that we’ve had the opportunity to tour!!

Have a safe and happy 4th of July!!

Bridal Headpieces

0 · Jun 20, 2013 ·

I simply adore looking at bridal fashions. And while traditions stay close to my heart, I cannot seem to ignore the new trends in bridal headpieces. Simply swapping a tulle hat or adding a floral headband can completely transform your wedding day look.

So which look do you prefer?

{Traditional veil via Style Me Pretty / Tulle hat via Style Me Pretty / Birdcage veils via Style Me Pretty / Floral crown via The Wedding Chicks}

3 Years Ago

0 · Jun 19, 2013 ·

I was married 3 years ago today. 3 years ago Pinterest did not exist and wedding blogs were yet to dominate the internet planning world. I purchased bridal magazines and used creations from my very own imagination. 3 years ago I had a wedding filled with rustic and earthy details that have long since been forgotten about by my guests. Timelines and seating charts are a thing of the past and my ivory taffeta gown is shoved in the back of my closet. Linens and charger plates have been returned and my gorgeous peony and wildflower bouquet has long since wilted.

So what remains from my wedding 3 years ago? A marriage.

For 3 years now I have had a man by my side. Together we have built a life full of stress, chaos and laughter. Since we said “I do” we have celebrated a life together full of family, sorrow, adventure and new life. I cannot think of a person I’d rather have by my side.

We are long since past the point of living in wedded bliss. The “honeymoon phase” dissolved quickly as argued about paint colors, kitchen remodeling plans and whether or not shoes should be worn in the house. Sometimes we go to bed angry. Sometimes I have to vent to friends and gripe about how his way of thinking is completely backwards and opposite (and clearly wrong!) from mine.

Recently I was asked how I knew that I was marrying the right man. What a loaded question! I never had that a-ha moment where I just knew that Josh was “the one”. I really didn’t even know where to begin in answering that, but after much debate here’s my conclusion. You much choose to love someone for the rest of your life. Butterflies and bliss will not last forever, so if that’s what your marriage is based on, be prepared for failure. Spend some time on your knees, I asked God every night to show me if there was a reason I should not marry Josh. He will show you. Do not take this commitment lightly, being caught up in the romance of a wedding. Make sure you can handle their cute little quirks, which will drive you crazy later. Think about what your life would be life without him, does that scenario even exist? And be prepared to never give up.

Photo by Shannon Scott {Smug Shots}

Happy Anniversary baby… I love you!!

A Couple Truths about Wedding Planners

0 · Jun 14, 2013 ·

Photo by Hetler Photography

Many people hear the words “wedding planner” (or coordinator, etc) and immediately get this vision of someone who is going to come in and take over your wedding day, dictating every decision from venues to colors to day-of timelines – creating an event that is not even close to representing you as a couple. So we shy away from this concept, ask friends and family to help out and thinking that as brides, we can just do everything ourselves.

The second myth we hear is how expensive wedding planning services are and this is only a luxury that high end, big budget brides can afford.

Here’s the truth. Wedding coordinators only take over the entire planning process if you want them to. On average, it’s said that a wedding takes about 200 hours to plan. I personally have not taken the time to do the exact math, but I think the actual number might be higher. This is a ton of time for someone working a full time job to commit to. Rather than having 20 separate vendors to research, meet with and keep informed you can hire a planner to articulate your vision to each and every one of them, keep all communications with them and you only have to email (call, text or whatever) ONE person to make sure EVERYTHING gets done. Now sit down and take a load off!!

Secondly, your budget might be more planner friendly than you think. Many planners have a variety of options on how involved they actually get with your wedding day. You can use them as a consultant basis just to make sure you have everything covered, because let’s face it, you’ve probably never planned a wedding before! Not sure how to construct your itinerary? Can’t decide which linen colors will give you the best impact? Or just need someone to make sure that the reception is set up beautifully while you’re off getting married? I’m so glad you asked!! Let me help you!

Packages can be tailored specifically to meet your wedding day needs, meaning you can help control the costs without losing control of your wedding day!

PS – I have limited dates still available in 2013 and would love to chat about your 2014 wedding!

Vintage IS Modern

0 · Jun 5, 2013 ·

Vintage weddings have been all the rage for the past few years now. There’s something oh-so-charming and nostalgic about incorporating items from the past into your décor. I do it in my personal décor, as well as with events. But what defines the event as “vintage”?

More and more vendors seem to be popping up claiming that they cater to vintage weddings. They provide vintage furniture rentals, vintage attire or maybe even vintage photographs or event design.

This raises a couple questions.

What makes your wedding vintage?
Do you need to choose vendors that are specifically tailored to vintage weddings?

Let’s try to answer the first question. You’re wedding does NOT have to be completely vintage to incorporated vintage components, all while pulling off a super romantic event. Brides have used the word vintage to describe their weddings, when I might rather use turns like rustic, whimsical or lacey.

The term vintage can merely mean an item is old, but no quite antique or maybe it’s used or heavily used or worn out. It could be a more primitive object. Or perhaps you really are describing an antique!! There is not a clear definition of vintage (other than it being used in wine making!) So when deciding upon a vintage theme for your wedding, make sure you are specific. Is there a particular decade you’d like to replicate? Would you prefer mid-century modern or 1920’s Gatsby inspired affair?

Secondly, your vendors do not need to cater specifically to this type of an event. However, if they have something similar in their portfolio that you really like, it can be very helpful. Showing pictures and being very specific with your vendors in any event will help with the overall communication process. Ask lots of questions, and do not be afraid to ask if they think they can achieve your desired effect. Most vendors will be honest with you – if they don’t think they fit well with your vision, they’ll let you know!

I myself visit flea markets and thrift stores whenever possible. I love collecting garage sale treasures. And I’m the first person to slam on my breaks when I see a store advertising antiques. However, I would not label myself as a vintage vendor just because I like this eclectic style décor. I would say I’m thrifty and creative, and I know how to pull off this look seamlessly, even incorporating a few TJ Maxx finds that might fit the bill even better than the true vintage pieces. I was decorating with cottage finds, shabby chic trinkets and rustic details before vintage was the “cool” thing to do!

So please, continue planning your vintage inspired events. Incorporate wooden crates and dresses from the 1950s, but be able to describe your event beyond it being just “vintage”. Do not be afraid to add teacups to a “modern” event or add sleeker décor to a 1900s historic estate. With this ongoing trend, I would even venture to say that vintage is modern!!

Bradley James Photography captured the beautiful bride above wearing a 1950s tulle dress in my vintage tea party shoot last fall.

Invitation Facts You Didn’t Know

0 · May 15, 2013 ·

After I completed yesterday’s post all about wedding invitation etiquette, the thought hit me… why? Why do we have all these invitation rules and who decided that this was proper etiquette? So naturally, I Googled it. I how can I talk to you about something that I don’t even know the history behind?

What I found was this cute little graphic posted on Huffington Post last year. Let our curiosities be satisfied with these 10 Wedding Invitation Facts You Didn’t Know!

Invitation Etiquette

0 · May 14, 2013 ·

I wrote a post a couple weeks ago about when to send your wedding invitations, but let’s talk today a little bit about what should go on your invites, and overall invitation etiquette.

So first off, just to recap, plan on sending your invites out about 6-8 weeks before your wedding and save-the-dates are optional. Click here to read a little more.

Wording on the invitation can vary greatly. Either set of parents may be mentioned, or possibly just the couple themselves. Consider who is actually “hosting” the party or who is footing the bill? Are they going to be insulted if they are not mentioned on the invite?

Some examples:

“Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith invite you to share in celebration of the marriage of their daughter {bride} to {groom} the son of Mr. and Mrs. Jacob and Judy Jones.”

“Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith with Mr. and Mrs. Jacob and Judy Jones invite you to share in the celebration of the marriage of {bride} to {groom}.”

“{Bride} and {Groom} together with their parents, invite you to share in the celebration of their marriage”

The latter is a great option if you come from families with multiple branches ensuring no one will feel left out or less significant.

Whichever wording you may choose, make sure to include the date and time along with the location of the ceremony and reception. Tradition dictates that all words be spelled in full on the invitation, including the time and street names.

Wedding registry information, however, should not be included on the invitation, as this implies that you are asking for gifts (which believe it or not, guests are not required to give you!) You may include this information on your wedding website. And yes, I understand that Grandma may not be very technology savvy (my grandpa doesn’t even know how to turn the computer on, much less what a website is!), but she might not look at a wedding registry though either!

Your wedding website is a great place to include any information that guests do not receive in the invitation itself. Usually the website address is included on the save-the-dates, but if you opted not to send them, simply including a small insert card with the invitation should do the trick.

The invitation itself should clue the guests in on the formality level of your wedding. A very elegant, gold rimmed invitation with letterpress and foil is going to lend to a more upscale or black-tie affair, whereas an invite tied with burlap or raffia will hint at a more casual occasion. Consider the message you are trying to send with your invites.

And on the envelope…

Regardless of the formality of your day, envelopes should be addressed without abbreviations
Address your guests with proper titles using their full names
Be specific as to who is invited, if children as also invited it is a much safer idea to include their exact names rather than “and family”
Envelopes should be handwritten, with the exception of the return address (which is typically located on the back flap). This doesn’t mean you’re required to hire a calligrapher, while this is a great touch, simply written names with a nice pen can be just as lovely
And to increase the likeliness of receiving a response, include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope for the RSVP cards

And the big question that seems to be asked, do we send invitations out to our immediate family and bridal party? YES!!! They may know the date, and they’re definitely planning on being there, but beyond that, they really haven’t paid attention to all the “wedding talk” that has been floating around. This simply ensures that they receive the same information as everyone else, including the address to the venues, event times and any hotel or travel information you may have provided for other guests. Plus, it gives them a really nice keepsake.

So sorry if this information is a little late for you summer brides, but fall brides – you are now prepared!

The image above is courtesy of Hetler Photography, from a styled shoot with Something Borrowed Vintage Staging and Rentals. Invitation created by Emily Ross Creative {so excited to see what she creates for my project later this month!}. See the full shoot here!

How to Please Everyone on Your Wedding Day {The Groom}

0 · May 8, 2013 ·

“I was nervous, anxious, excited and most of all…happy. I was marrying the woman I love and knew I was able to spend the rest of my life with her.”

Photo by Shannon Scott Photography {Smug Shots}

A couple weeks ago I shared a post about pleasing everyone on your wedding day, giving little snippets about many of the people involved. You may have noticed that it was titled “How to Please Everyone on Your Wedding Day {Part 1}” – meaning there’s more to the story. So rather than being some wedding junky who rambles on, speculating about how others might feel about the weddings their involved in, I started asking around.

I am going to continue this series with the Groom. He has a pretty significant role in the wedding process, even though he is often forgotten. Other than deciding on his tux or suit, it seems like there are very few other decisions that really concern him. From my small sampling of men, I found this is how your groom really feels (and I promised them it would remain anonymous, so sorry, I cannot name my sources!)

Based on my research, it seems that guys feel a lot of pressure in the time before the actual wedding planning begins, we’ll call it the proposal planning. Once the question is popped, life becomes a little easier and they can breathe and get rid of those will-she-say-yes jitters.

After that, guess what? Sorry brides, but guys don’t care about the little details and particulars! You may have already figured that out by the glazed over look your man gets every time you start “wedding talk.” They really wish you’d stop working so hard and just enjoy being engaged. It is only for a very limited time that you can call him your fiancé. While most of the guys definitely show some concern for details like the weather, and making sure the guests have a great time, their biggest focus is marrying the woman of their dreams.

“I wish my wife [then fiancé] wasn’t so involved in the whole thing. I know this sounds negative because we had a GORGEOUS wedding…we had to do everything ourselves and I think it took a huge toll on my wife and our families.”

“I think the most important part of the day for me was being able to watch my beautiful bride walk down the aisle toward me and have her dad give her away to me, knowing we were starting our new lives together.”

“The actual ceremony [was the most important part of the wedding day]…. I also wanted to make sure all of our guests had fun too!”

Those nervous, anxious pre-proposal butterflies do seem to sneak back up on our men right before the ceremony, but I think it’s just the excitement. Once the ceremony is over, everyone can let loose and celebrate!

So ladies, how do you make this a great experience for your man? Stop bugging him with the little things – simplify the details, keep the main focus of your wedding on the beautiful life you two will be building together, and have fun!

DIY Brides

0 · May 2, 2013 ·

A couple months ago I got in touch with a bride who had discussed using my services, but never really committed. Just as a friendly follow-up, I dropped her a little note to say hello and see if she needed any help.

Her response was no, she’s more of a DIY bride.

Photo by Shannon Scott Photography {Smug Shots}

If you’re a reader of the Every Last Detail blog, then you probably saw Lauren’s post about DIY weddings today. This is actually something that’s been on my mind for quite some time now, and I did not really know how to go about explaining the complications of the DIY bride without trying to sell my services.

In reading Lauren’s post, you’ll realize DIY can have lots of interpretations. And even the DIY bride needs help sometimes. It is completely okay to admit that you’ve bit off more than you can chew, and seek assistance. There are even people (such as myself!) who will sit down and help you craft those DIY projects!!

Hiring vendors does not mean that your wedding becomes less personal and handmade details need to be lost. Hiring vendors simply means that you understand your limits and the limits of loved ones around you, and you’re willing to admit that you simply cannot do it all.

Let’s stay stress free and enjoy this beautiful West Michigan weather we have had this week!!

FAQs: When to Send Wedding Invitations

0 · Apr 30, 2013 ·

Wedding season is just around the corner (and has actually already started for some!) What does that mean for you?

For some, that means digging through wedding registries and attending celebration after celebration this summer. It might mean work is going to get super busy and spending time at the beach will be a distant dream. Or maybe it means you’ve got to kick your tail into gear, you’re getting married this summer!

For me, it means I have a stack of save-the-dates and wedding invites clipped to my refrigerator. I started receiving these “notices” in January, some in February and then a save-the-date and actual invitations in March.

So when should you send these invites out? How much of a notice do you need to provide for your guests? While there are hundreds of opinions posted all over the internet – every major wedding blog, The Knot, etc, this is still probably one of the most common questions I get asked.

Let’s just clear this up, there are no hard rules of when to send out invitations or save-the-dates. But here are some guidelines and points to consider.

Save-the-Dates:

There’s no rule stating you MUST send them out. If you’re having an out of town celebration, or your wedding is during a holiday, then I would suggest giving your guests this optional notice. This allows your guests to plan ahead, requesting time off work or saving for extra travel expenses. Plan on sending these out at least 6 months prior to your wedding date, if not sooner.

Invitations:

General rule of thumb states that wedding invites should be sent out somewhere around 6 weeks to 2 months prior to the wedding. However, if you did not send save-the-dates, consider sending them out a touch sooner. Also bear in mind when your vendors need their final head counts and when you need those RSVPs by. Be considerate of your guests and how many are coming from out of town and what travel arrangements they might have to make upon receiving that invite.

A couple other thoughts:

Try not to send out the invite too early, people tend to misplace them and put off RSVPing. If it is misplaced, that means that they have lost important information, such as locations and times… having a wedding website might come in handy at this point!
If you’re using a calligrapher, give them plenty of time to address the invites so they’re not scrambling to have them ready to be sent out on time.
Cutting it close on time? The invites still need to be mailed; please do not resort of faxing, emailing or calling your guests to invite them. By mailing all invites, you ensure that all guests receive the same information and no details are forgotten. Plus, isn’t it great to get something pretty in the mail, an envelope that you actually want to open!

The above photo is from my vintage tea party shoot last fall with Bradley James Photography. Invitation by Creative Montage.

Sunny Day Inspiration

0 · Apr 24, 2013 ·

Well hello there, it’s another dismal day here in West Michigan. We’re hoping to see this sun this weekend (yay!!) But for today, we’ll just keep on dreaming with a few stunning images of these sunny wedding days!

{1. Photo by Rachel Thurston via Southbound Bride / 2. Photo by Jose Villa via Magnolia Rouge / 3. Photo by Jonny Draper via English Wedding / 4. Photo by Scobey Photography via Junebug Weddings / 5. via Yelp / 6. via Loveolio / 7. Photo by Holland Photo Arts via Junebug Weddings / 8 & 9. Photos by Swoon by Katie , Design & Styling by Beau & Arrow Events, Flowers by Root 75 via 100 Layer Cake}

The Pursuit of Companionship

0 · Apr 12, 2013 ·

Women like to be pursued. We like to feel wanted and loved. We love the thought of a grand romance. It’s said that women are complicated creatures and men cannot seem to figure us out, but if you treat us right, act like you like us and stay in constant pursuit then we’ll stay happy. Seems pretty simple to me.

A couple weeks ago I wrote a post about defining yourself and knowing who you are before entering into a marriage (or any relationship really). You can read more about that here. Shortly thereafter, our pastor talked about the lies that Satan will have all women believe and I thought it was a good follow-up to that post. You see, Satan is a sneaky, deceitful little guy who will have us women believing that we can depend on some guy to meet all of our needs. And when that guy fails us, we’re left holding the broken pieces with no one left to blame but ourselves.

We, as women, tend to put all of our hopes on one guy. We long for companionship. We get into the wrong relationships and think that we can “fix” him. We get wrapped up in the fairytale and the distant thought of “happily ever after.”

If we have a clear definition of who we are before entering that relationship, our visions won’t get as clouded by “love”. We are less likely to compromise ourselves for that companionship, and we can focus on being not only who we want to be, but also the person that you are looking for is looking for. Now that’s a thought to twist your head around!

Think about how Dad feels before he’s going to give his little girl away. This is the little girl he’s fought for his whole life, threatening boyfriends, setting early curfews and refusing to allow you to wear that mini skirt. Dad has fought for your purity and your well-being. Is your husband/fiancé/boyfriend doing the same? Can Daddy rest assured that this is “the one” that will constantly pursue you and keep you happy for the rest of your life?

Picture via Dennisse Lisseth

Oh Rainy Wedding Day…

0 · Apr 11, 2013 ·

I spent the first part of my week in Chicago, while they had a little rain, I was able to escape from the floods we are seeing in West Michigan. I will be the first to admit my distaste for rain – it makes my hair go flat, my pant legs get wet and it creates an overall muddy mess.

On the other hand, there is something sensual and romantic about the rain. It brings people together, it creates a reason to spend the day snuggling on the sofa with a good book or movie (or maybe you’re favorite wedding blog!) Even if you see the beauty in the rain, it’s probably not the weather you would ideally pick on your wedding day. But don’t despair, instead feast your eyes on these beautiful images captured of couples who were able to weather the storm.

So how do you plan for rain?

Check the weather. If you’re planning an outdoor wedding, I am fairly certain weather is one of your biggest concerns, so you’ll probably check the 10 day forecast, as well as 9 days before and so on. If there is a strong possibility for rain, start brainstorming. How can you avoid this being a disaster? What cute props can you pick up for some rainy day photos? Can you find umbrellas in your wedding colors?

Have a backup plan. If your ceremony is outside, is there a small local church you can have on standby? Or can the ceremony be moved to the reception site (providing the reception is indoors)? Does your venue provide you with a backup?

Pack an extra-large bridal emergency kit. Include an extra pair of shoes (or rain boots!) as well as lots of waterproof mascara and you might want to consider having a blow-dryer handy.

Inform your guests. Have someone stationed at the original ceremony site and redirect them to the new location. If most of your guests are staying at one hotel, ask the staff to help you deliver a note detailing the change of plans. Allow extra time and consider delaying the ceremony just a little so no one shows up as you’re walking down the aisle.

In all your planning, don’t forget the best part of rain… the rainbow!!!

{1. Photo by HRM Photography / 2. Photo by Onelove Photography via Love and Lavender / 3. Photo by Cade Martin / 4. Photo by Vesic Photography / 5. Photo by Lucinda Photography via Intimate Weddings / 6. Photo by JMK Photos via Borrowed and Blue / 7. Photo by Gia Canali via Rangoli}

Do these images have you almost hoping for rain on your wedding day? I feel like I should grab an umbrella and go dance in a puddle!!! Happy Thursday!

How to Please Everyone on Your Wedding Day {Part 1}

0 · Apr 4, 2013 ·

Does this sound like someone you know or (gulp)…you???

“I want this color, and those flowers, and the super expensive dress with the best photographer to capture all my painstaking details, and we better hire an awesome make-up artist so my face can look perfect. And my bridesmaids, well the can wear what I tell them to wear, I don’t care if they don’t like the shoes, IT’S MY DAY!!!”

We’ve all been around that crazy bride who is so focused on every detail around “her” day that she forgets about everyone else. Dresses, shoes, hair, make-up and nails become the topic of conversation for months. She won’t stop obsessing about the hideous dress her future mother-in-law chose, or the fact that one of her bridesmaids just got an awful haircut.

Let’s step back for just a moment. I know this is your once in a lifetime day, but there are OTHER people involved too. In all your planning, have you stopped to consider their needs???

Here are some others you might want to consider on your wedding day:

The Groom:

First and foremost, the other significant member of the wedding day is the groom. While focus does tend to be more on the bride, he has a pretty significant role too. This is the man that you decided to spend the rest of your life with; I think you could share this day with him too! Is there a special detail that you can incorporate just for him?

Take a moment and ask your groom what he finds most important about his wedding day. Many guys will simply appease their brides, and let them do all the planning. But if nothing else, in my experience, he may get a little excited about the food and/or drink selection. Let him have some input there, he deserves to have a good meal.

Let’s face it, there is more to your man than his belly, he may have emotions on his wedding day too. Make sure your photographer captures that first look, whether the first time he sees you is during your walk down the aisle, or if you have a special time to capture that moment before the ceremony. Some grooms have strong opinions on when this “first look” should be, so make sure you ask him.

The Parents:

Have you stopped to consider how your parent’s and other family members are going to feel? There are so many emotions to discover, but most of all, their baby is getting married! It is so easy to get caught up in those little details, what color the mother of the bride or groom should wear and how they should wear their hair, etc.

The bottom line is the mothers want to feel beautiful too. The last thing they need is to be forced into a dreadfully dated mother-of-the-bride’s dress, they’re already having to come to the realization that they’re old enough to have a child getting married. Let the ladies feel their best.

Your parents are also stressing. Daddy wants to make sure that his little girl is getting her dream wedding, and that the groom is good enough for his princess. Daddy is more than a checkbook during this process. While he may stand back and not say too much, I’m sure he’s thinking lots. He’s giving is little girl away!

Your family has watched you grow from a teeny little baby into the adult you are now. They have seen you take your first breathe, your first step, your first date and now “I do”. Be respectful of this during your planning process and consider their needs.

The Wedding Party:

Odds are your wedding party is pretty excited to be a part of your day. They are ready to party and celebrate with you! However, being part of a wedding can become a costly endeavor.

Consider how much money you are asking your wedding party to spend. For the ladies, there’s the bridesmaids dress, the shoes, jewelry, hair and make-up, not to mention they threw you an awesome shower and bachelorette party! For the gentlemen, again, you are asking them to rent/buy a suit or tux, shoes and… well lucky for them, they don’t have many other accessories! But that bachelor party was pretty awesome, right?

In addition, there might be additional travel costs, overnight accommodations, extra meals, snacks and travel supplies.

Ease the strain on their pocketbook by allowing the girls to pick a dress that fits into their budget. Or choose something they can truly wear again. Pick up the bill for the girl’s hair and/or makeup, or give them the option to do it themselves. The jewelry can also make a nice bridesmaid gift. Consider letting the groomsmen wear their own shoes. Or find an inexpensive suit that the guys can purchase and wear again.

The Guests:

All photos beautifully captured by Shannon Scott Photography {Smug Shots}

Last but not least, be considerate of your guests. They have traveled from near and far to celebrate with you, so focus a little on their comfort.

Welcome bags at the hotel can be a great way to start their trip. If most of the guests are from out of town, you may want to plan a couple extra activities for the day leading up to and after the wedding. Providing a little information about the local area’s sights and attractions can also be a nice touch.

If your wedding is more of a local affair, then focus more on the little details (which are actually a pretty big deal!) How long will your guests have to wait between the ceremony and the reception? Will there be a cocktail hour to keep them entertained, or is it long enough that they can run home for a bit?

Is your wedding outside in the middle of July? Providing shaded seating or personal fans would be greatly appreciated. Remember last summer when you went out to eat and the restaurant had the air conditioning cranked up so high that you spent you evening shivering in your cute little tank top? Do you remember your meal? Probably not, the focus was on your discomfort. Same applies for your guests. If they’re really uncomfortable (too hot, too cold or in really uncomfortable seats), that is what they will remember about your wedding, not all the cute DIY details that you spend hours working on.

While managing a restaurant here in Grand Rapids, the owner once told me, guests don’t notice when you do things right, but they notice when things are done wrong. For example, they won’t notice that you took care that the music was at the perfect volume, but if it’s too loud, they’ll certainly remember that.

And of course you cannot please everyone, so don’t let this be an extra stress on your big day; just take a moment to consider others. It is ultimately your day, and I am no discounting that by any means. Have fun and enjoy being surrounded by those that you love!

{Steps to the Altar} Venue or Theme

0 · Mar 26, 2013 ·

Which came first, the venue or the “theme”?

It’s a common question; brides are not sure if they should have an overall theme or feel, paired with colors and an elaborate vision first, or if they should select the venue and let that dictate everything else about the wedding.

I personally do not think there is a right or wrong answer to this question. I talked with brides who have done it both ways, but here are a few points to consider:

Picking a theme first-

If you should choose this route, make sure your venue can help to attain the look that you are hoping to achieve. Should you decide on a very rustic, woodland feel with soft tones you might want to stay away from brightly colored modern venues. Something else you may want to consider, the colors of the chairs and other accessories that the venue provides. I had a friend who was going through the planning process and settled on royal blue and green for her wedding colors. One of the venues she was considering has bright teal chairs. Because the chairs were so bright, she decided that if she settled with this reception space, she might have to reconsider her wedding colors. You may need to be creative about how to incorporate these odd elements. Or you may want to remain somewhat flexible and open minded about your decision making.

By choosing the mood you want to set for your day, you can then shop for a venue that will cater to this feeling and compliment your theme and color scheme. It will help edit that long list of wedding venues in your city.

Picking the venue first-

The venue will influence the mood of the wedding. A grand ballroom with crystal chandeliers and a marble staircase is going to set a different tone than if you decide to get married in a barn or a friend’s back yard. Either setting can be absolutely beautiful, but it’s going to affect the ambiance of your wedding. In this case the venue will help define the theme or wedding style.

Another point to consider, venues have limited availability. Dreaming of a June wedding? Settle on the venue first, as this tends to be prime wedding season. Finding a place to host your event may be more difficult if you have a set style that you have to match your venue to. This is especially true if you’re working on a tight time frame.

Should you find a venue that you absolutely love, go for it! Plan your day around your setting, make it beautiful and customize it to make it truly yours.

Sometimes the theme and venue may just go hand in hand and fall into place. The above photo is from styled wedding shoot I put together last fall, captured by the amazing Bradley James Photography. I knew I wanted to incorporate some peaches and mint green tones along with teacups (because I love them!) and then I started searching for venues. I had the opportunity to tour The Felt Estate, and fell in love with this charming little room and its floral wallpaper. The venue paired well with a vintage theme and I could easily incorporate some of the colors of this floral wallpaper into the rest of the décor without it being overpowering. I made a slight change and added a rosy pink to my mint and peach color scheme, and then enhanced the delicate vintage details with the rest of the décor.

By remaining somewhat flexible, I was able to create a gorgeous event that compliments my style, and added a couple extra girly frills!

{Steps to the Altar} Defining Yourself

0 · Mar 21, 2013 ·

Do you know who you are? I mean, really know who you are??? Think about what makes you tick, your motivation in life and where you are headed down the road. Now list three words or phrases that describe you (don’t think real long, just quick, what first jumps into your mind?)

Was one of those words wife, girlfriend or fiancé? Do you like the sound of that? Was his name placed in front of that (ex: I am Josh’s wife… not just wife)? How does that make you feel?

Alright, I will stop with all the questioning, but I have a point. Recently, I have been in several scenarios where I was asked to tell a little about myself. My response is almost becoming robotic: wife, mother and small business owner with a Hospitality and Tourism Management degree… blah blah blah. But who cares? Is this how I am defined? Is being Josh’s wife what defines me? Wife is the first thing that comes to mind…

I read this quote yesterday from The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and it made this all come together so well, “…ancient biblical writings spoke of the husband and wife becoming one flesh. That did not mean that individuals would lose their identity; it meant that they would enter into each other’s lives in a deep and intimate way.”

In order not to lose my identity, I had to first know who I am without Josh. I rarely say I am Josh’s wife, that would imply that he owns me (for those of you who are a little less grammatical the apostrophe implies ownership). I say that I am a wife, and we do belong together, but we are a team. This is not an ownership game with us; it’s a life that we have built together. That’s how we entered this marriage. I can comfortably say this because I can still define myself without the use of my husband’s name; I know who I am, even if I do choose to label myself as “wife”.

Before you get caught up in the romance of an engagement and fulfilling your lifelong dream to walk down an aisle in a big white princess dress, make certain you know who you are and you have clearly established your own individuality. Ensure you know what you are bringing to this marriage and what you expect in return. Think of your dreams and aspirations (outside of love), will you be able to achieve these once you are married? Will you be able to work together to make these goals happen? Or will you be asked to give these up? Will you feel stifled and unhappy if you do have to give them up? This may lead to resentment towards your spouse which may not end in a happy marriage.

Photo by Kelly Lynne Photography

I am by no means an expert on the issue of marriage, so take my words lightly. I just want to encourage you to know who you are, and not lose your inner glow once you walk down the aisle. The perfectness of the “in-love” feeling is not going to last forever. But it can be the foundation for something a whole lot bigger and better. All relationships require a little give and take. Just take care that they are the right sacrifices and you wouldn’t be left feeling empty and wanting more later on.

Now stop ready silly wedding blogs and go get married! It’s time to make your own happily ever after!!!

{Steps to the Altar} The Budget

0 · Mar 5, 2013 ·

You’re engaged! Let’s start planning – themes, venues, caterers, bridesmaids, dresses, flowers, colors, invitations, hotel rooms, hairstyles, cakes, bands, churches, officiants, coordinators, linens, photographers… and those are just the first few things that pop into your head!

Stop! Take a deep breath. Before you think about one more thing, the very first thing you MUST determine is your budget. Your budget will define everything else about your wedding.

I know this is the day you’ve been dreaming about for most of your life. Visions can get pretty elaborate. By limiting how much money you have to spend on your wedding, you can narrow down options and avoid starting your future together in mountains of debt. Know how much money you are able to afford. Figure out how much your fiancé will contribute and if any contributions will be made by either of your parents. Once you know how much you can spend, then you can start prioritizing.

If the photographer is the most important part of your wedding, start there. Many couples find this the most important aspect of their wedding day, and rightfully so. You’ll have these pictures for the rest of your life. Make sure you not only love the photographer’s style, but their personality. You need to feel at ease with your photographer, if you feel stiff and awkward around them, then your pictures will reflect that.

If the venue is the most important aspect to you, then find out how much your dream venue will cost, and see if its’ even a possibility on your budget. But remember, venues also have rules regarding caterers and liquor and sometimes the other vendors that are allowed to provide services within their premises. If these other vendors are going to drive your budget up, you might have to secure another venue.

Have an idea of how many people are on your guest list. Most caterers price their meals per head; this will give you a better idea of how much the meal will actually cost, $20-50 a head might not sound like much until you multiply this by 200 guests. One of the easiest ways to bring prices down is by condensing your guest list. You are not obligated to invite everyone you know. Nor are you required to ask people to come, simply because you attended theirs five years ago, when was the last time you even talked to them? By keeping the affair smaller, not only will your budget be saved, but you will actually remember the people that were there and you can talk to every one of them.

A few facts to keep in mind:

The average wedding in the United States cost between $25,000-27,000.
Weddings in Kent County cost between $17,000-29,000, on average. Click here for more details.
The average engagement ring cost $5,200
About 12% of couples spend more than $8,000 on the engagement ring
The average college graduate has about $20,000 debt
The average household income in Michigan is around $45,000
Financial problems are often cited as the #1 reason for divorce

Somehow the numbers don’t all add up for me…

So here’s a really old fashioned, crazy idea. Once you’ve had that conversation with all parties paying for the wedding, and the budget established, and set in stone – use cash to pay for your wedding! If you do not have the cash to pay for something, then don’t buy it, simple.

Weddings are a time of celebration. Anyone with any amount of money can get married. The key is not to burden yourself, piling on the debt before you even say “I do.” Remember your plans for the future, plans that last a lot longer than one night.

Photo by Shannon Scott Photography {Smug Shots}

Love this Contest: Emergency Kit 101

0 · Mar 4, 2013 ·

One day last summer I was helping a bridal party get ready and suddenly there was a need for some ribbon. We were at the bride’s parent’s home, a gorgeous home that seemed to have everything… everything that is, except ribbon. The girls all started brainstorming, trying to think of a place they could get some ribbon. They couldn’t even come up with the name of one person who would have ribbon at their house who would be joining them at the wedding. I stood there is absolute shock! How do you not know anyone who would have ribbon in their home? Is this common? My basement is stashed with more ribbon than Hobby Lobby and they can’t even come up with one twelve inch strand between all of these girls! Amazing.

I was not there to set up for the wedding or do any coordinating of any sort; therefore I was not required to have ribbon with me. (Although I would absolutely own up to it if I had dropped the ball on that one.) Surprisingly, I didn’t have a spool in my giant purse either (only because I had just cleaned it out the previous day!)

And now to the point of this story… have you thought about what you might unexpectedly need on your wedding day? This may not qualify as an emergency to you and this was a very minor detail, however, plan on something unexpected happening on your wedding day.

Remember that box from last week? This is what’s inside!

Have an Emergency Kit with you. While this is not an all-inclusive list, here’s a really good start for you:

Band Aids
Bobby pins
Breath mints
A compact with a mirror
Contact information for all your vendors (if you don’t have a wedding coordinator)
Crazy glue
Dental floss
Deodorant
Granola bar – or some sort of snack. Make sure you eat! I know there’s stress and excitement and food may be the last thing on your mind, but don’t let this haunt you later.
Hairspray
Lipstick
Lotion
Nail File
Nail polish (the colors I chose, Happily Ever After and It’s a Shore Thing)
Perfume
Ribbon – something that matches your wedding colors
Safety pins
Scissors
Scotch tape – or even better, Glue Dots! Those little guys are amazing!
Sewing kit
Stain remover – chalk also helps mask any dribbles you may have on your white dress.
Static Guard
Straws – you don’t want to ruin your lipstick
Tissues –for those tears of joy J
Tweezers

Tailor your emergency kit to your wedding day. If you are wearing nylons, throw an extra pair in your bag just in case. If you don’t have a wedding coordinator, have your bridesmaids help you out with this, its ok to ask them to take charge of a couple things on your wedding day, they are there to support you.

And here’s a little something to get you started! Send me a good love story, (email, Facebook, snail mail… however you want to send it is fine), and my favorite one gets this starter emergency kit, because I know you haven’t planned it, but you might just have a small emergency on your wedding day!

Love this Contest

0 · Mar 1, 2013 ·

What’s in that box??? I’ll get to that, but first…

I need to say thank you! I am so stickin’ excited about the launch of my new website last week and my blog this week… I’m still over here doing a happy dance, and I can’t seem to wipe this silly grin off my face! I have received such positive feedback and so much support from my friends and family, as well as people I barely know… Thank you!

In celebration of this, before this month of love officially comes to an end, I am looking for an amazing love story. It could be a sappy tale of love at first sight, a fairytale romance or maybe your meet cute is a little more humorous. Either way, I want to hear about it!

And now the good part, the best story gets this box! Inside this box is an emergency kit for your wedding day. I promise it’s not as lame as it sounds, there’s some good stuff packed in here, necessities for any bride and some things you might want just because. I know wedding season is drawing near (which means your special days is almost here!), have you thought about what you should make sure you have handy on your wedding day? More details about the exact contents are coming soon, but in the meantime send your stories to hello@eventsbythedaysdesign.com. I can’t wait to hear from you!

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