The Day's Journal

Finding beauty in the everyday pieces of life

Wedding Planning & Advice

How to Work with a Wedding Planner

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There was a wedding I worked last summer at a beautiful new venue.  It was owner operated and so I would also call her the venue coordinator.  We talked about a ton of plans before hand and she had quite a few “particulars” that were musts on her lists to keep her venue in pristine condition.  She had extra staff around and she would often reference that “they” will take care of various things.  She was also very involved with the overall flow.  Nothing crazy out of the ordinary for a venue coordinator.  However, it got to a point in the evening where things just weren’t proceeding as they should and I needed to take matters into my own hands.  Something that “they” were supposed to do hadn’t happened yet.  So I inquired about when it might be taking place.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget this moment as I’m still filled with fury just thinking back, she stopped and turned, then barked at me “I don’t know!  I’m not the wedding planner!!” She walked away, my blood was boiling and I didn’t speak to her the rest of the night (because obviously the silent treatment is the mature approach from me).  And I did “their” job myself.

Other than the fact that her reaction was so out of line, the reason I was so upset about this is because I wasn’t the wedding planner either.  I was just hired for day-of coordination.  I didn’t know EVERYTHING.  And this is why I beg couples to share as much information as they possibly can with me.

How to Work with a Wedding Planner | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography

The title of this article is “How to Work with a Wedding Planning”.  I’d like to take time to explore this from both a vendor and client perspective.  These questions come up all the time – what’s the relationship between bride and planner? Who do we communicate with? Who are services contracted through? Does the planner completely take over the wedding?

Before I can answer these questions, I need to start by laying some groundwork.  We need to understand the various levels of service that you can hire someone like myself for.  I think why the venue owner reacted the way she did was due to a lack of understanding.  She didn’t understand what the bride truly hired me to do, or what the difference is between a coordinator and planner.

I’m hoping that with this little series we can clear up some of the misconceptions and learn how we call can work together.

Now, it might vary some depending upon who you hire, but for me, I offer several different options and this is what each of these services include.

  1. Floral Design

If I’ve been hired for floral design only, I’m going to make some gorgeous arrangements.  However, I’m not going to design or setup any other pieces of the wedding and I’m not in charge of any planning services.  I’m simply going to decorate with the supplies that I brought along and then I’m going home for the day.  Aside from possibly a quick chat with the photographer or adding a few blooms to the cake, I won’t have communications with the other vendors.  This service is pretty unique to me, most planners don’t offer full floral design and if they do, it’s only with clients who have hired them for planning as well, which makes it more of an add on service.  But I love flowers and will arrange them for weddings no matter what.

  1. Event Design

Event design flows really well with floral design.  Think of this as hiring me to take charge of anything that’s aesthetically pleasing.  Some items that fall into this category would be linen selection, room layouts, invitations and other paper products, working with the cake designer, helping select bridesmaids colors, backdrops, place settings and sourcing some of those specialty rental items.  However, this doesn’t include assistance with logistics, timing, etiquette or really any non-visual pieces of the wedding day.  I scheme, I design, and I set everything up pretty and make sure that the special vendor’s I subcontracted are doing their part but then I’m on my way before the show really begins.

  1. Day-of Coordination/Event Management

Sometimes one is hired just to manage those logistics.  Some planners have strength in the visual elements and some are more suited to managing the flow of the day.  While most planners will do either, I think it’s important to understand the strengths of whose been hired.  Why did you go to that planner?  Is it because they have awesome communications and flow with other vendors? Or is it because you love the look of their portfolio?  And why does their portfolio look like that? If they’ only coordinated and had nothing to do with the design, then it can’t possibly be expected that every wedding they coordinate will have “that look”, because the planning of most of those visual elements most likely took place before they were involved.

So if someone is contracted to manage the day, expect them to do just that.  They typically jump in about the last month or so of planning and tie up the loose ends.  They make sure that everything the bride has put in place actually happens and are the go-to person on the wedding day and the final days leading up to the wedding.  Questions from other vendors can be filtered through them, therefore eliminated 50 different texts/emails/calls to the bride on the day before the wedding and we can narrow that down to 1 from her coordinator, who will be in fact her right hand man on the day of.  Typically this person is the first person onsite and the last one to leave at the end of the evening.  They don’t generally do much setup or decorating, a few tasks here or there such as placing table numbers or escort card displays but for the most part, their job is to oversee and make sure that everyone else is doing their job.

Now as a vendor working a coordinator, understand that they may not have all the answers right away – they only have information the bride has given them.  And sometimes sucking information out of the bride is a challenging task, from finalizing guest counts to knowing who receives all of the corsages and boutonnières, there are a lot of the pieces of the puzzle to be managed.  We coordinators at times have had to deal with brides who haven’t found it necessary for us to have “all” the information, which is a really tough place to be in and sometimes make us appear less than adequate at our jobs.

  1. Full Service Wedding Planning

This person is hired to assist with the entire process.  There’s not much that’s off limits – from design, to vendor selections, clothing, rsvp tracking and turning out the lights at the end of the night, this is your all-encompassing package.

The full service wedding planner will spend over 200 hours planning a wedding.  The wedding weekend itself may contain a couple 12+ hour days for her and her assistants.  There will be so much behind the scenes work that goes unseen, it’ll just magically happen and the day will (hopefully) be perfect.

If the wedding planner is also the floral designer, add another 100 hours of labor onto a big wedding.  I know it sound excessive but this is not a job for the weak and weary.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the planner isn’t there to take away from their fun in wedding planning.  The bride and groom are usually still involved and there are details that the planner cannot handle – inviting guests, dress fittings, music selection, seating charts, cake and food tasting – just to name a few.  Most planners stay in the know on all these subjects, but there’s a chance that a bride or groom may change their mind and forget to notify the planner.  It’s not a fool proof system that everything will remain worry free just because there’s a wedding planner.  Communication is key to this relationship.

This post got a little wordy, but if you’re still with me – that’s step 1 to working with a planner for both clients and vendors.  Bottom line, you need to know who was hired and what services they have been hired for.  This will determine the rest of the working relationship.  Stay tuned for part 2 of this 4 part series.

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3 Tips for Planning Rustic Weddings

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I originally wrote this post a couple months ago as part of my monthly guest feature over on Simply Blue Weddings.  It was titled “3 Mistakes Couples Make When Planning Rustic Weddings”.  But after it when live, I felt bad.  I had just posted something really negative and it bothered me.

So today, I’m sharing it here on my personal blog, but I’ve reworked it a bit, shedding a more positive light on the subject.  Here are some things you should do to make sure that you’re rustic celebration is just as fabulous as you always dreamed it would be.

Quicksand Rose | Rustic Wedding Planning Tips | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography |  Styling & Floral Design: The Day’s Design  |  Calligraphy: Wondrous Whimsy

Properly Define Rustic

What does rustic mean to you? In the wedding industry, it seems any celebration that doesn’t take place in a formal ballroom (and even some that do) can easily be defined as rustic. However, these seem to be three different type of “rustic” bride that I most normally come across.

There’s shabby, vintage and sometimes even a little dirty “rustic”.  This bride includes décor choices that you might generally associate with a barn wedding.  Perhaps horse saddles, wooden crates, vintage table numbers and burlap accents.

Then there’s outdoorsy rustic.  Think almost woodland wedding or even more nautical style.  Birch bark, tree stumps and mossy touches might be mixed in.  You could also incorporate antlers, sand or outdoor activities that the couple enjoy together.  This is where natural lovers rejoice.

Finally, there’s the girl who describes her day as rustic elegance.  She dreams of a touch of sophistication paired with wide open spaces.  Think gold flatware against a raw wooden table.  Everything stays sleek and refined while complimenting a slightly more relaxed mood.

And of course there’s a hybrid of any of the above which makes every day extremely unique.

Choose the Right Venue

Michigan is home to a countless number of barns, wineries and other outdoor spaces that lend themselves so well towards this style of gathering.  With such a plethora of earthy spaces, I think that’s why we tend to assume that everyone getting married with a loose bouquet of wildflowers is search of that casual vibe.  However, we mustn’t forget that there are many hotel ballrooms, elegant restaurants and rental halls that also can host amazing events.  And not all of them pair well with burlap, wooden crates or nautical rope décor.  Make sure that your venue provides the right backdrop and sets the perfect tone for you wedding day.

Don’t Assume that Planning will be Simple

I hear it all the time, I want a simple wedding day.  Don’t we all?  Does anyone want their day to be an overly complicated nightmare??  The fact of the matter is, regardless of the style or theme of your wedding day, you’re still inviting guests, they still need invitations, chairs, tables, linens, food, centerpieces, transportation and about a 100 other details that go into the planning of a successful event. Oh and you thought it would cost less because it’s a rustic wedding?  While there might be a few details that become more casual and you could possibly skip out on the draping or extremely tall formal centerpieces, but that greenery garland and beautiful compote centerpiece is still cost money.  And the price tag on your flank steak is the same whether you serve it in a fancy ballroom or on a tented hillside.

I love working in casual elegance as well as grander ballrooms.  I think that’s one of the reasons that I love what I do so much, I get to meet a variety of people, working in different atmosphere and am never limited on my creativity.  Each wedding as is individual as the couple planning it.

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Looking for more wedding planning tips?  Read my guest feature over on Simply Blue Weddings the second Thursday of each month.

Why You Should Consider an Unplugged Wedding

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Do you ever just take a moment to sit in silence?  Just stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, turn off the TV, put down your phone and sit quietly.

How do you feel? What are your emotions at this moment?  Just breathe in and breathe out.  Let your thoughts circle around you.

Reasons Why You Should Have an Unplugged Wedding | The Day's Design | Clary Pfieffer Photography

Photography: Clary Pfeiffer Photography

A few weeks back after the kids were to bed and while hubby was still at work, I experienced a moment of silence.  After a couple of minutes of merely sitting on the sofa, I started to grab my phone and mindlessly scroll through Instagram.  I thought about finding something else to watch on Netflix.  But I fought the urge.  I sat there without a sound, without a movement, for a few minutes more.  I had to battle myself the entire time.

Prior to this moment, I had watched a sappy Nicholas Sparks movie.  They get me every time. It made me smile, it made me cry and at the end I was a blubbering mess of emotions.  When it was over, I wanted those emotions to disappear.  I couldn’t feel the hurt and sadness anymore.  After all, it was just a movie.

But instead, I embraced this rare moment in time and let myself feel things.  I pondered exactly why this movie made these feelings surface in the first place.  I took the time to sort out things that have been haunting me for years, but I’m always just a little too busy to stop and think about.  I thought about love, I thought about life, I thought about family and past relationships.

Oddly enough, the following Sunday the message at church circled around the idea that people are so busy that they don’t take the time to properly grieve.  They don’t take the time to feel things, embrace their emotions and understand what their senses are telling them.  They become a tangled mess of a person who doesn’t know how to deal with life when something when it doesn’t go their way.  In biblical times, when someone died they would find people to come cry with them.  They would sit in a period of mourning and embrace their grief – for days, for weeks. Today, we encourage people to get back to work, get back to normal, stay busy.  The hurt will go away.

But it doesn’t.  It just gets buried under the busy of the moment.

We’ve created a generation of people who are hot headed and miss out on so much of life because they cannot properly channel their joys and sorrows.

It’s for this reason that I encourage you to have an unplugged wedding.  There are arguments that iPhone cameras get in the way of photographers.  Point and shoot flashes can be damaging to the venue’s natural light.  And guests get in the aisle way and try to get the very best shot, therefore preventing the professionals from doing their job effectively.  All very valid arguments.

However, I think by encouraging your friends and family to put down their phones/cameras, you’re actually doing them a favor.   You’re taking away the pressure for them to get the very best shot and be the first one to post it to Facebook.  You’re giving them the opportunity to be present with you and experience the joy and celebration that’s happening in your hearts during your union.  You’re allowing an excuse to disconnect from the rest of the world and focus solely on what’s happening right in front of them.  Let them inspect every flower that’s been so painstakingly selected.  Enable them to smell the sweet scent of the fresh summer air.  Allow them listen not only to the musicians, but the birds and the babbling brook in the background.  Give them the opportunity to reconnect with family that traveled from afar to share this day. And encourage them catch up on life happenings with old friends. It’s your gift to them on your wedding day.

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The Mathematics Behind Planning a Wedding

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Ever noticed how many numbers are involved in wedding planning?  The realization hit home again this morning after weeks of catching up on the accounting and the nasty side of running a business…and taxes. Ugh.

BHLDN Table Number | Wedding Planning Tips | The Day's Design | Clary Pfeiffer Photography

Photography: Clary Pfeiffer Photography

From an entrepreneurial standpoint, this seems obvious and expected when you own and operate a small business.  But I started thinking about this from a bride’s perspective too.  There are centerpiece calculations, seating chart dilemmas, invitation orders, meals, bridal attendants, amount of alcohol consumed, seats and modes of transportation and then the really obvious number quandary –  the dreaded budget.

This is really just the tip of the iceberg and perhaps one of the reasons that planning a wedding is so difficult.  So much of it is left to chance, predictions and mathematical calculations.

‘If Grandma Betty contributes $5,000 and Papa Joe gives us $2,000 plus we can add $8,000 from our savings and Mom and Dad said they’d contribute as much as they did for my brother’s wedding (whatever that amount was!?)  And then if we invite 150 guests, maybe 125 will show up so we can expect to pay for only 125 meals but then we have to feed our vendors so that’s an extra 10 meals but only alcohol for 125, yet there could be as many as 15 minors there so maybe we will have more to spend on wine because there should only be 110 people drinking.  And then do those tables seat 8 or 10 guests?  Maybe we can have less centerpieces which will allow us to put more towards a ceremony arbor. But Aunt Susie can’t be sitting next to Uncle Bert which will mean we can only have 7 people at that table… Should we order enough cake for all our guests?  Does everyone even like cake?  Do we rent the same amount of chairs for the ceremony and the reception – I heard lots of guests only come for the reception and my wedding party will be standing up anyway.  Or can the catering staff just move the chairs from one place to another for us? And what vendors do we tip and are there expected percentages?  Who’s going to take my 65 miscellaneously collected vintage containers home at the end of the night? And how many wedding presents can I really fit in my car…’

If that has you just a tiny bit mind boggled, know that I barely scratched the surface of all the numbers and logistics that needs to be walked through before your wedding celebration can flow seamlessly, or at least with very few hiccups involved.

As I wrote this, I started having flashbacks to this Father of the Bride moment (which is without doubt, the best wedding planning movie ever) and it’s no wonder that George Banks has a mental breakdown.

My advice?  Get rid of the superfluous buns. Hire a planner.  Relieve stress.  And I need to hire an accountant.

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Tips for Traditional Church Weddings

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White Chapel Wedding | The Day's Design | Cory Weber Photography

Photography: Weber Photography

There’s time honored tradition that goes along with getting married in a church. It’s a humble beginning and a way to start your lives together with a God centered marriage.

However, more and more couple are choosing to get married in wide open spaces with nature as their backdrop. That doesn’t mean the ceremonies have to be any less religious or meaningful, but there is a certain charm that’s lacking. It’s just not how Grandma would have done it.

I understand. I’m a visual person and love planning ceremonies in pretty places. I too opted for beautiful surroundings rather than honoring tradition. So how can you find the best of both worlds?

Every now and then I pass a darling little white chapel and dream of what it looks like on the inside. It’s so picturesque. Occasionally I’m even able to peak in the windows or find images online. Usually I’m disappointed. So many times they’ve been updated with blue industrial grade carpeting or the old wooden pews have been replaced by something a little plusher. And on top of that, sometimes these little churches are small and seat under 100 guests, without bridal suites or even a classroom to take over for primping. In compromise, perhaps plan you ceremony on the steps of a chapel with the building as your backdrop. Set chairs on the lawn and you can have the best of both worlds.

Other churches are much more modern to start with. They don’t have windows, pews or any qualities really that brides today seek in their wedding photos. It’s not the church’s fault. They’re meant to be places of worship, not photo backdrops.

So if you are planning church nuptials, or saying I do in any indoor setting, here are a few ideas to keep in mind:

Lighting – make sure your photographer is properly equipped to work in a potentially dark space. Also understand that if you hire a natural light photographer, the ceremony pictures might not be as airy and luminescent as other images in their portfolio.

Décor limitations – many churches and indoor spaces tend to have many décor restrictions. Flowers can’t always be placed highly visual areas. Candle use might be restricted. And often aisle runners aren’t allowed.

Other Restrictions – other churches, especially Catholic and various formal settings, have policies in place limiting photography. Photographers and videographers occasionally are restrained to certain areas and banned from places like balconies and the front pews. They also may require you to use their minister and have set ceremony and rehearsal times.

As with planning any wedding ceremony, the focus should be on representing your relationship. Décor should aim to accent the beauty that naturally exists in the space and remember that no matter where you host your celebration, at the end of the day, the important thing is that you’re married.

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Trust the Experts

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I love wedding blogs as much as the next gal. I read them here and there, find inspiration and even advertise on a couple. But sadly, I have to say that they don’t always get it 100% right. Occasionally I can even go as far to say that I’m appalled by the information that they’re sharing with their readers and my brides.

Autumn bouquet | The Day's Design | Bradley James Photography

Photography: Bradley James Photography

It is true that every last wedding vendor has their own opinions on how things should be done in the wedding industry, much less in their specific area of expertise. We all wish that others might change their way of thinking or order of operations. Yes, everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and ideas.

However, with all that being said, who should brides really turn to for advice on wedding planning? Who can we trust if not these nation-wide, big name publications?

When it comes to flowers, trust a florist. Flowers are a big focus of the wedding industry and instantly grab one’s attention. But when I see one of my bouquets featured on XYZ’s Instagram page and captioned as they’re “obsessing over this dogwood bouquet” and yet I’ve actually never played with dogwood before and definitely didn’t include it in that particular bouquet, it makes me a bit leery on all fronts.  It’s not the first time I’ve witness similar such situations.

When it comes to budgeting advice, take note of your city or market. What a photographer or wedding planner charges in one destination might be a far cry for what they could potentially charge if they lived somewhere else. Be cautious of posts detailing these incredibly awesome celebrations that were done for under $5,000-7,000. I’m not saying that it’s impossible here in Michigan. All I’m asking is that you consider the story that goes untold – their best friend was a florist and did the flowers for free, there were only 20 guests, uncle Tom owns a venue, they didn’t serve a full meal, the bride was a frazzled mess because she took on too many projects herself… pictures and blog post don’t always tell the entire story. Budget is a really tricky topic to talk about and “inexpensive” can have a range of interpretations. And mostly their referring to nation wide stats and numbers.

When it comes to food, talk to you caterer. Each and every chef is different and has different pricing structures, timelines, service styles and ideas. Farm to table and family style options are really on trend right now, but that doesn’t mean its right for you event.   Or perhaps a plated dinner would be much more cost effective.  I’ve seen both options work in the bride and groom’s favor.

When it comes to lighting and family photo timelines, your photographer will know best. Photographers all use different cameras, equipment and know the methods that work best for them to capture your perfect moments. I’ve worked with lots of fabulous photographers and while it seems there are lots of common rules, many have their own little tricks and preferences and it’s not a one size fits all situation. But I absolutely will NOT tell you to be off beat and ditch a photographer all together in favor of Facebook photo shares or disposable cameras – there are publications that have completely lost my respect as of late.

Have to seen the pattern here? As a wedding planner I know lots of do’s and don’ts but I can’t play expert in each of these categories, I can simply guide you to them. Wedding blogs are the same. They see lots of things, but until they’re actually there in the moment, living through the situation and seeing the day through each vendors’ eyes, they can’t tell you how to plan your wedding. Hire creatives who are each experts in their own field and have fun planning your wedding your way.

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Inspiration Board :: Dusty & Rustic

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Dusty and rustic, that sounds like quite the combination, doesn’t it?  But I promise it was gorgeous – just like dear Hallie.  Hallie and I schemed about all things vintage, wooden and full of charm.  She adored dusty blue tones and luscious pops of pink.  We aimed for softness, without being too pastel.  She loves bows, lace and lots of girly enchantments which contrasted nicely with the rustic vibe of her barn venue.

Before bringing the day to life, we of course plotted and schemed and dreamt up an amazing mood board to help us define exact what their celebration would look like.  I know some people find it somewhat pointless, but to me I think it’s an invaluable tool.  Hallie (like most brides) had 169 pins on her Pinterest board and while they were all beautiful, there was such a range and plethora of ideas that it really needed to be focused and narrowed.  You can read more about why I insist on creating an inspiration board here.

We sought to combine her favorite things, making sure that the design remained balanced between glamorous and aged elements, old and new and fit perfectly with her something blue.

Dusty Blue & Rustic Mood Board | The Day's Design

Image credit (top row left to right): Photography: Paper Antler via Ruffled Blog  | Dusty Miller stock image  |  Photography: Greer G Photography, Floral Design: Kim Starr Wise via Snippet & Ink  |  Photography: Weddings by Nicola and Glen, Floral Design: Euphoric Flowers

(middle row left to right): Invitation via Wedding Paper Divas  |  Romantic Antike Garden Rose stock image | Wood boxes via Accent Decor

(bottom row left to right): Photography: Lauren Kinsey, Floral Design: Bloom Floral Design  |  Queen Anne’s Lace stock image  | Linen via La Tavola  |  White Majolica Spray Rose stock image

 

 I’ve been hording the gorgeous results of Hallie and Eric’s beautiful celebration but will be sure to share them very very soon.

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Wedding Planning Services

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Wedding Planner Services | Job Description | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

Photography: Ashley Slater Photography

Somewhere between pretentious corporate event planner and “I planned my sister’s wedding so now I’m an event planner” – on the side, is where you’ll find me… with a bouquet of flowers in my hands. I am a small business owner and boutique wedding planner, specializing in one of kind celebrations. I have a degree in event planning – or as close as I could get (Bachelors of Science in Hospitality and Tourism Management with an emphasis is Event Planning – yes, that’s a mouthful).  I plan, design and floralize weddings for a living.

However for me, business isn’t really about the title, it’s about being able to do what I love. While The Day’s Design didn’t necessarily start with flowers, it was born out of my love for design. Pulling together all the individual details for a wedding and forming one cohesive event makes me so happy. I love finding the perfect napkin that matches your invitation that pairs perfectly with your bridesmaids dress.

FLORAL DESIGN

But often the element that speaks loudest in that design scheme is the flowers and since I am so passionate about this aspect too, they naturally became part of my service offerings. They are a tangible component that everyone can see. The floral selection for any event says a lot about a person and the impact is huge. This is what draws most people to my work. And then we bond because they fancy blooms almost as much as I do.

I can’t seem to quench this thirst for floral knowledge. Colors, varieties and bouquet shapes fill my imagination…

WEDDING DESIGN

At times, the conversation ends with flowers, but more often it continues on, circling back to that design discussion and dreaming of all the decorative possibilities from escort card displays to making sure each place setting is arranged with a perfectly graceful ribbon draped on top. My sketch pad is full of doodles from blooms, to ribbons to invitations and the possibilities are endless. My creative mind is always on a wild quest for more. We’ll fashion an entire mood board and sketch out designs for the day. Together, we’ll visualize all the various details, big or small, and the roles they play in the overall tone of your wedding. If you hire me to design your wedding, I’ll be a part of every aesthetic facet working with your other creative vendors and then onsite that morning making sure that everything is perfectly placed and spotless. I may even help your photographer style a few photos if our paths should happen to cross and your timeline allows.

EVENT MANAGEMENT/DAY OF COORDINATION

Since I am there anyway, event management becomes a natural step for me to take. It’s a little more work for me on the front end of things (with a stellar team of assistants in tow), but so worth it to any bride who is considering whether or not to do everything herself. I’ll help build the entire itinerary for the day, making sure there’s a planned arrival time for each and every vendor. You won’t have to worry about whether or not the cake was delivered or the linens are set on your tables in time for the caterer to begin their part. The bridal party will know where they’re supposed to be and when to start walking down the aisle and I’ll straighten out your train before your grand entrance. Concerns about whether the photographer is in the room when the best man makes his toast or when husband and wife dance for the first time are eliminated as it will all be scheduled and well thought out, flowing as if it were all just naturally meant to happen.

FULL SERVICE WEDDING PLANNING

Then there’s the bride that needs help from the very beginning. The number of inspiring vendors in her area seems daunting and the idea of figuring out a budget is tedious. I become the friend that’s planned a million weddings and a liaison between practical, glam, organic and what your mother wants. I’m the voice of reason and inspiration, guiding the couple through each step of the planning process. Our journey together may begin with a location, a venue, finding the perfect caterer, tasting cakes or drinking champagne after he first proposed. Having a wedding planner doesn’t mean that you lose out on planning your wedding, but rather you have an experienced hand helping you along the way and any dull tasks that you don’t want to do, you can have someone else take care of.  Everything stays orderly, on schedule and remains fun, after all wedding planning is supposed to be fun.  It’s a celebration!

Regardless of contracted services, each couple is special to me. Each event is one of a kind and deserves its own contemplation and creativity. Being engaged is a once in a lifetime experience and I want to make it the very best for you. But most importantly, I wish all of my clients a marriage far more beautiful than any wedding I could ever help to create.

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Creating a Wedding Mood Board

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Refining your wedding vision is often a struggle. There are so many great ideas out there and so many amazing vendors who can help bring those visions into reality. But one of the biggest challenges I find are really clear cutting that vision and then being able to accurately describe what it is that you want to each and every artist who is playing a role in your celebration.

Descriptive terms are awesome. When a brides starts telling me that she’d like her wedding to be simple, elegant, organic and natural a certain scene begins to unfold. Then color gets added into the conversation, pale blush, ivory, champagne and greenery. The picture is officially painted in my mind at this point.

Then I skip on over to her Pinterest board. All hope begins to fade away. Suddenly I’m seeing vibrant hues of peach and green. I’ve seen swatches of white kissed with blush but I’ve also seen a pink that almost leans towards lavender. I heard the words “elegant and classic” but I’m seeing birch bark and wooden boxes which to me say more rustic and woodsy. And that’s just digging through the first 30 pins because after all, you know every girl’s wedding board is easily filled with 100+.

I’m not here to get on my Pinterest soap box because I really think it’s a great tool and I used it repeatedly. Maybe a bouquet was pinned simply because of the shape or style.  Maybe the bride loved everything about a certain centerpiece but not the container. Perhaps she loved the votives on a tabletop but not necessarily everything else about the design. One can never be certain why a particular image was saved.  So what I’m suggesting you do instead is hone it down for your vendors and share a simple, one page inspiration or mood board.

What is a mood board?

Just like when you’re on a romantic night out you look for a date night activity with the right atmosphere, so should you set the tone for your wedding. Romance in all in the eye of the beholder – some might enjoy a playful get-together at a carnival while others are thinking of candlelight dinners in a fine dining restaurant.  Both locations set a different mood.

The key is to gather elements that evoke a certain feeling rather than focusing the exact elements that you want included in your wedding. Sometimes including non-wedding elements is another great option. Your wedding should be a reflection of you, so that includes components from your personal life too.

Isn’t my Pinterest board enough?

The truth is you probably have 5 different place card options pinned. Odds are there are about 10 cakes that you like. The number of bridal bouquets that you love are endless. But having a very simplified board to guide you and anchor you home when you begin to feel overwhelmed will help so much. Your baker probably isn’t going to scroll through your 100+ pins, but they will look at a one page to gather inspiration.

So here’s an example of one that I might put together for one of my brides based on the above description of her event. And then I share it with all of her vendors, as any good wedding planner should.

Simple Organic Inspiration Board | The Day's Design

Image Credit (top row, left to right): Photography: Jose Villa, Boutonnieres: Mindy Rice Floral Design via Once Wed  |  Photography: Bradley James Photography, Bouquet: The Day’s Design  |  Cake via These Peas are Hollow 

(middle row, left to right): Image via Stylish Walks  |    Photography: Rylee Hitcher via Once Wed  |  Image via Lover.ly

(bottom row, left to right): Rug via Joss & Main  | Photography: Rylee Hitcher, Invitation: Meagan Tidwell   

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The Problem with Percentages

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As I was scribbling down that title I couldn’t help but think anyone who has a distaste for math is surely going to want to read this. And of course they’ll agree, percentages are tricky and problematic. However, this is not a full on math lecture just a little advice when it comes to wedding planning.

I’ve come to the point in my season where weddings are winding down the planning is gearing up for next year. As my first consults begin, we chat about things like overall style, favorite colors and flowers, locations, priorities, fantasies, crazy proposal stories and my least favorite part of the conversation – budgets. It seems there are a couple of very common scenarios that I run into while talking numbers with couples. 1. They have an overall number in mind but have very little clue as to how that money should be allocated and how much things in “wedding land” cost. Or 2. They have pulled a budget worksheet from The Knot or Weddingwire or similar and know exactly what they’re willing to spend in each area based on the website’s recommendations.

There is nothing wrong with either one of these situations. It’s tricky to know what things cost when you’ve never planned a wedding before. I think these sample budget sheets from the various website are really helpful guidelines. But they’re just that – a guide. And they’re usually made up of percentages. The problem is the website doesn’t know your exact needs. They don’t know that you can decrease your rental amount because the venue provides super amazing chairs – chairs that also made the venue itself more expensive. They also don’t typically take into consideration the number of guests. For example – if you’re budget is $50,000, it’s recommended that approximately 30% of that budget be allocated to food and food services. If you’re inviting 300 guests, that works out to $50 per person. This includes appetizers, salads, entrees and service staff fees and gratuities. If you have a smaller wedding of around 75 guests, you’ll be spending $200 per person on their meal. Depending upon your menu selections and formality of the event, that might seem a little excessive. In the case of the smaller guest count I may recommending using some of those monies elsewhere.

The same holds true with flowers and décor. Usually about 8-12% is allotted for this part of the budget. However, fewer guests means few tables. On the flip side, the more guests you have the more centerpieces you’ll need, meaning you might not be able to do some of those extra floral showpieces you were hoping for or you might have to adjust the percentages of your budget.
So what doesn’t change with guest count? There are certain fixed costs within the planning process. Think photography, music, venue rentals and officiant fees – all necessary items that typically don’t fluctuate with the guest count.

And what if you can’t find someone who’s pricing fits within that allotted percentage? Photography can sometimes be the biggest struggle here. It’s pretty rare that I hear a bride mention that she doesn’t care about the photographer. It’s more often the case that they want the best that they can find within their budget. However, with smaller budget weddings you might have to up the percentage of that funds you’re willing to spend in this area. This is an area I truly feel that you get what you pay for and it’s the lasting memories from your day.

Prioritize. That’s my biggest piece of advice. Use these percentages as a guide but if you want the more expensive band verse a DJ, go for it. Just remember to adjust other areas of the budget accordingly, perhaps eliminated the custom invitations for premade or have your place cards and escort cards do double duty. And theirs your accounting lesson for the day. Problem solved.

Shelby Lynn | Grand Rapid Florist | The Day's Design | Heather Cisler Photography

Photography: Heather Cisler Photography

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The Wedding Scene

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Willowbrook Mill Wedding | The Day's Design | Kelly Sweet Photography

I was hanging out at a wedding a couple weeks ago… just kidding, I was working my tail off at a wedding a couple of weeks ago and we had just about finished making everything pretty and I was ready to give myself a huge pat on the back. I love that moment when everything is complete, every petal is in its perfect placed, the linens are unsoiled and perfectly laid, and all the silverware is flawlessly aligned with the edge of the table and the chairs are barely grazing each tablecloth. It kind of makes me think back to Edwardian times when people actually took the time to measure the distance between place settings with a ruler, polished each and every piece of silver and would never think of serving a guest with the wrong hand. I like to think I put that much time and care into each wedding, but not quite.

I love this moment. It’s the time when a tent is gleaming in all its glory, just waiting for the guests to arrive. I stood back in admiration as the photographer next to me began to capture the serenity of the entire scene. And then a guest walked it. While he was a fairly dapper looking gent, he wasn’t exactly complimenting the picture. So I kindly explained to him that we were in the process of taking photographs before guests were seated and asked him to wait just a few minutes before entering the tent. What I didn’t expect was a fuss, “Why would you want a picture without any people in it?! Who’s going to look back and think ‘I’m so glad I have this picture of this fork and spoon.” Clearly irritated, he stomped off and the photographer and I laughed.

This incident has stayed with me. I even started to doubt myself and wonder if maybe he was correct. Do couples really care to have these “empty” and “untouched” photos after their wedding day? From a vendor’s point of view, I love them. You’ll see very few pictures flooded with people in my portfolio. Your dear aunt Sally may have been an absolute hoot and a joy of a wedding guest, but her bold black and white dress clashed terribly with the pale blush and white of your décor. There’s a reason you take control of what your bridal party and immediate family wear, you want everything to blend. So do I. But I didn’t hire the photographer and I’m not paying for his services, so am I just being selfish?

I keep imagining a peaceful mountain scene. It’s serene and still, the mountain standing proudly at attention reaching far into the sky with snow gracing the very tops. At the base is a valley with tall grasses and a river that lays there undisturbed. Maybe a moose comes to drink from it daily or perhaps it’s the favorite fishing spot for a local bear and her cubs. It’s beautiful. Now think about what that same spot would look like if it were a famous tourist attraction. There’d be thousands of people in the base of the image, signs offering rides to different heights and flashy lights trying to sell you fried food. It doesn’t make the mountain itself any less beautiful but there’s a different tone and mood. You and your friends will still take a picture in front of the landscape but that peaceful and calm feeling will be gone.

Head Table Garland | The Day's Design | Kelly Sweet Photography

Both images are from an autumn wedding with Kelly Sweet Photography.

A good photographer will capture every moment of the wedding day. A photographer is an artist. And as an artist they seek to find the beauty in all aspects of the wedding. This time before the guest enter, before your little flower girl spilled soda on her dress and the ring bearer rolled in the mud is important. It adds to the story of your celebration. You spent a painstaking amount of time bringing all the details together, finding those perfect ribbons and table numbers. Make sure every piece of the day receives the credit it is due.

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How to RSVP for a Wedding

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This might seem like a silly post. Everyone knows how to RSVP for a wedding, right? It seems so obvious. But oddly enough, it’s been one of my biggest battles this year – gathering the guest count!

Minted Wedding Invitations | The Day's Design | Bradly James Photography

Photography: Bradley James Photography

So here we go – whether you’re a bride sending out those precious invites or just something planning (or not planning) to attend a summer soirée, here’s what you need to know about that little card inserted within the invitation, commonly known as the RSVP card.

To start, I strongly believe that RSVPs should be done through the mail. You’re not saving yourself any time by accepting them via email, Facebook messages, text, etc. You already receive enough emails regarding your wedding and you’re not always near someplace to track the RVSP if you collect those via phone/text. Purchase the cute little card that matches your invitation. Then make sure that it’s address to where ever you’d like these little RSVPs to arrive – your house, your parent’s home… whoever is going to be responsible and keep them in a safe place. Put a stamp on it. Make it easy and convenient for your guests.

Near the top of an RSVP should be a date. This is the date that it is due to be returned by. Place it in the mail prior to this date. This is so the bride and groom can collect final counts for not only the caterer, but the number of tables and chairs that need to be rented, the number of centerpieces needed, the number of programs, menu cards, favors and desserts. And after that data is all processed, they can then begin the daunting task of table assignments. If you RSVP late, your run the risk of being unfed and shoved at the “reject table”.

Under that date is a line. That line typically starts with an “M”. It looks something like this:

M______________

I cannot count the number of times that I’ve been asked about this “M”. That “M” is just a starting point, it might stand for Mr. or Mrs., Miss or Madame – fill in the rest of the blank however you’d like the be addressed. Some modern invitations eliminate the “M” and just leave a blank line or perhaps they say “Guest Names” which is really specific for you. Whatever it says, make sure that somewhere on that card is your name and the names of those who will be attending with you. If you do not put your name on the card, they cannot track who the RSVP came from and you will be bothered later with a phone call wondering why you have not responded to the wedding invite.

Entrée selection. This might be listed on the RSVP card but it might not. It just depends on what is being served and whether or not the guest has a choice. For the purpose of this article, we’re going to say that the guest is being given a choice of entrée. That means you must choose one – one for each guest RSVPing. So that means if there are 4 names on the card, there should be 4 entrees selected. Bonus points for letting us know who is eating which entrée (initials or something similar is extremely helpful), otherwise you might be playing the switch-a-roo game later.

We changed our minds. It happens. But realize that this is an inconvenience. If you’re no longer attending, the bride and groom may have already paid for your meal, set an extra seat, paid the calligrapher to create you a tag, etc. If you decided to attend afterall – the bride and groom now have to get in touch will all of these various people and make sure that they can squeeze you in at a table somewhere. To be a good guest, make a decision and stick with it.

Everyone must RSVP. That’s right, EVERYONE. If you received an invitation, it included a card with an envelope that already had a stamp on it. Don’t waste that stamp, send it back to the bride and groom. Even if you’re the mother of the bride or best man, don’t assume that they know you’re coming. The bride and groom might not be the ones tallying up the RSVP cards – they may have delegated that to a bridesmaid, sister or wedding planner who will not know to assume that you’ll be there. And they definitely won’t know what you want to eat or how many are in your party.

And finally, only the people who were clearly listed on the addressed envelope should be attending. If the outer envelope is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. Then there are 2 people invited, only 2. I don’t care that it’s an out of town wedding and that you have to travel with your 6 kids, those 6 kids were not invited. Don’t hassle the bride and groom, it’s their decision and I’m sure it wasn’t made lightly and there are probably lots of reasons unknown to you as to why your children were not invited. If the children are invited, it will say on the invitation Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family or it will specifically name the children who are invited. Children who are over 18 or not living in the same household will be sent a separate invitation.

So brides, there’s the detailed info on how to create and send the RSVPs. And guests, make it easy on those brides, they’ve got a lot on their plate – return those cards properly filled out.

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Ribbon Selection

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Beach Bridal Bouquet | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

Photo: Ashley Slater Photography

I love ribbon.  It’s actually really embarrassing how much ribbon I have stashed away in my basement.  I could wrap Christmas presents for years before running out.  But as with most things, my styles and preferences change and so I find myself favoring one particular type at a time, leaving the others behind.

Beyond wrapping presents, my obsession is really focused on bouquets and finding the most perfectly delicate spools to flow freely from your handful of gorgeous blooms.  The right ribbon will complete everything, blow perfectly in the wind and continue the color story beyond where your eye naturally stops at that bottom petal.

As I’m designing with my clients I find that most either have a very strong preference on the type or color of ribbon used throughout their event or they really don’t care much at all, which leaves that detail up to my choosing (which puts a lot of pressure on me… but I love it!)  So here’s a little more on that subject, the most common places that ribbons are used throughout designs and how to make the best selection for each of these areas.

The Bouquets

I’ll start with the most obvious.  Regardless of what service my clients hire me for, the subject of ribbons for the bouquets always comes up.  And the conversation runs much deeper than just popping into Hobby Lobby to pick up a 50% off spool.  There’s so much to consider.

Do you want long, flowy ribbons or do you prefer nice, neatly trimmed and shorter tails?  Would you prefer multiple layers?  Do you want your bouquets tied with a bow? It is necessary for your ribbons to match your blooms or dresses?  What other elements are including ribbon throughout the design?

My preferences lean towards long, flowy trailing ribbons on each and every bouquet with multiple layers.  I like big bouquets so I think a large amount of ribbon seems appropriate to balance that.  Most weddings I’m a part of have a least a portion of the day outside or plans to have portraits taken al fresco and the sight of ribbons freely blowing in the wind makes me weak in the knees, so I like lightweight options that will make that fantasy a reality.

A fairly common practice is to tie the bride’s bouquet with a big, beautiful bow.  While I do occasionally accessorize the bouquet like this, more often, I just loop a couple of ribbons together which I will then pin on the front of the bouquets once on site, as not to get them too wet during transport.  It’s a slightly more casual approach, but no less elegant and I don’t agonize over creating the most prefect bow (which I am way too picky about!)  Whether I choose loops or a bow, I always tend to place them slightly to the left.  I’m asymmetrical in nature, so bridesmaids always get the “how to carry a bouquet” speech from me as I’m handing them out.  I don’t want them facing that main ribbon straight forward therefore showing off the side of their bouquets.

Color also needs to be considered.  In a perfect world, the ribbons should accent the flowers, stand out from the dresses and still blend with the overall design of the day.  Just because your colors are navy and white, does not mean you need to use navy ribbons, especially if your girls are wearing navy dresses – you’ll never even see the streamers hanging down.  Select a color that will compliment – perhaps silver or gold or white, or another neutral.  Then as the bride, you could choose to use navy ribbons if you want a bold, different look or you could also stick with the more neutral tone of the bridesmaids’ ribbons, just keeping in mind what they’ll look like in front of your white dress.

Stationary Pieces

It really pains me when people put all this thought and care into choosing the ribbons for their personal flowers (or allow me to put all this time and effort into choosing) and then just make a willy nilly selection when it comes to choosing what will be accenting their invitations and/or menu cards.  This is the ribbon that people are actually going to touch.  One day someone came over and was poking through my goodies and found one of my silk ribbons “It feels like butter!” she exclaimed and she couldn’t stop touching it.  What if all of your guests had that reaction?  Wouldn’t that make your paper goodies seem that much more luxurious and special?

A couple other thoughts, watch what the ribbons will be placed up against – paper colors, napkins, etc.  Then consider the texture of the ribbon and how it might tie.  If you’re making bows, does it form one easily or do you really have to fuss with it?  Do you want to fuss with 150 bows?  Or is it really pretty just casually knotted?  How will it look after it’s been crammed in an envelope for 3 days before your guests open it?

Styling Pieces

A great way to style details and add a little extra flair is use the same ribbons throughout.  Having extra scraps for the photographer to style the invitations suite with, tie the chair back signs or simply have flowing across the cake table.  These small details really do make a huge impact.

Obviously there are a 100 other places you can use ribbons and you have to consider the cost and amount of ribbons you need.  Save the most special and luxurious pieces for the places it will be most noticed – highly photographed portions of the day and places where guests will touch it.  Most importantly – focus on what details matter most to you.

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Dining Al Fresco

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Al Fresco Wedding | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

Living in Michigan means that summer is a treasure.  It flies by in a blink and we try to savor every minute of it knowing that chilly breezes, crunching leaves and the first flurries of snow are just around the corner, soon to be followed by mountains of white and sub-zero temperatures.  So it’s no wonder that so many brides dream of saying “I do” outdoors, celebrating not only love but also summer’s bounty.

The recent trend of inspirational images provided by brides include lots of long, winding tables, earthy tones and dinners under the stars with just a few twinkle or cafe lights thrown into the mix.  Open, airy and fresh.

However, I’ve never actually planned a wedding where this vision was brought to life.  Rather, this open-air concept is replaced in favor of a tented reception.  Venues and properties tell you that you must rent a tent for your dinner, but is this really necessary?

It’s a risky questions to answer.  I think tents provide some security, a backup plan and give us a defined location for the party.  They give us protection from the sun’s burning rays and a covering should the clouds break loose.  But what I’ve observed is as soon as dinner is complete, people generally stray away from the tent.  Conversations are held in the fresh evening air as people venture around the property.  People don’t like to be confined.

Some points to consider when debating a tent verses dining al fresco:

  • What is the purpose of the tent?  Are you trying to define the space?  Is it serving as protection from the elements?  Do you love the look?
  • Is the reception tent also going to serve as a backup ceremony location?  Rainy days mean that your outdoor ceremony might have to be relocated and the most common backup plan (for those having the ceremony and reception on the same property) is moving the nuptials under the protection of the tent.
  • Is heat/shade a concern?  Think about what time people will be under the tent and where the sun will be located.  You could possibly host dinner under the shade of a tree or perhaps you’ve timed it as the sun starts to set, which will lessen the fury of it’s rays.  If it’s an afternoon meal however, guests might appreciate this guaranteed shady spot.
  • In what month are you hosting your event?  July and August tend to bring the most heat, regardless of where in the country you’re located.  In Michigan, June and September seem to be a little cooler – or at least less predictable.
  • Are there other buildings nearby?  I’ve found that many barn weddings are accompanied by tents simply as overflow since barn might not be able to accommodate the entirety of your guests.  Depending upon the size of the barn or other building, this might be an alternative shady hideaway or ceremony backup plan.  Having some lounge seating will provide a great hangout spot for guests but allow you to keep the majority of your event outside.

The above picture was from an end of summer al fresco dinner with The Rental Company and Ashley Slater Photography.  What the picture doesn’t show is how cold it was, tented or not, there was no protection from that!

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Married in a Month :: The Inspiration

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Winter is the season for dreaming.  It’s cold, gloomy and I’m stuck in the house because I’m too much of a wimp to try and bare these subzero temperatures.  So my imagination naturally takes over.  I start dreaming of warmer times ahead, summer blooms and what’s next for The Day’s Design.  I start creating inspiration boards and sketching out ideas – some which will happen and some which will never be brought to life.  It’s a New Year and time to dream big.

But it’s also time to dream for my clients.  I have met some really amazing couples the past couple months and I’ve got lots of goodies up my sleeves for their big days.  I’ve been working on lots of proposals and design ideas for them as well and I get pretty impatient when it comes to waiting on making these happen, six months seems like such a long time!

As I’m making these, many people have asked what the process looks like and how I design and convey what’s in my head to these couples.  I don’t have a 100% exact step-by-step process because each couple is different, sometimes I get a little ahead of myself and eager and sometimes my brain just doesn’t stay organized and the artist in me takes over – my pencil starts drawing and there’s no stopping it…. even if I’m not to that step in my process yet.

It’s fair to say, however, that almost all of my designs start with an inspiration board of some sort which allows my clients and I to visually describe how we want the day to feel, how colors will pair together and the overall formality levels.

If you’ve followed along my Married in a Month series, this is the inspiration that brought that impromptu celebration together.  Casual, simple, natural and colorful were words that the bride (my sister) used to describe her day.  Since the wedding took place in November, we wanted to add some fall touches, however the venue was scheduled to be decorated for the holidays the week before.  So it took some careful planning to combine these elements and make sure that it didn’t feel like a “Christmas wedding” but rather a festive celebration focused on the couple, but also welcoming the holiday spirit.  Here’s what we came up with:

Inspiration board | Cranberry & Plum | The Day's Design

We try to incorporate a little bit of inspiration for each piece of the wedding day – from flowers selections to wardrobe colors and ideas and all the little details in between that will really set your day apart.  By making an inspiration board early in the planning process, you have a general direct of where your decor is headed so when it comes to choosing those very first glimpses the guest will see, such as save-the-dates or invites, they already have an idea of what the wedding day will be like and it keeps everything cohesive.  It also help to share these boards with all the vendors, especially when it comes to exact color swatches – one person’s interpretation of purple might be a far cry from another’s – there’s plum, lilac, lavender, amethyst, violet, grape… I think you get the idea.

Inspiration board | Cranberry & Plum | The Day's Design

This is just an inspiration board.  That means we’re inspired by these images, many of which were created by other amazing artists.  There might be certain elements that I pull from this board, however the goal in mind is not to copy each detail but rather the feeling and the theme that it sets forth.  I’ll be sharing the exact results from the wedding in the upcoming weeks so you can compare the inspiration and the results – they really did turn out lovely!

*Disclaimer: Unfortunately when I created this design board I had no intention of blogging about it and am not sure where I sourced all of my images from.  I deeply regret not being able to track these down and give each artist their proper due.  Please accept my apologies as I will work to correct this in the future.

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Married in a Month

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Winter Wedding | The Day's Design | Katie Grace Photography

Photography: Katie Grace Photography | Floral Design: The Day’s Design

Happy Engagement Season!  So cheesy, right?  But I read somewhere that nearly 40% of all proposals that take place each calendar year happen between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve.  And if that weren’t crazy enough, there’s another big burst ready to happen as soon as Valentine’s strikes.

This means that wedding vendors (myself included) are getting bombarded with inquires and people trying to plan their weddings – some for this year, and some for next – because it really depends on the individual as to how much time they need to plan their wedding.

Which brings me to my next point, how much time do you need?  I know I’ve touched on this subject before (you can read that post here), but earlier this year I worked with a bride  that decided she didn’t really know what tomorrow might bring so, forget the long engagement, let’s get married next month (she also happened to be my sister… eep, that was challenge #2!) .  For real.

How in the world do you make that happen!?

First and foremost, develop a plan and stick to it.  There’s no room for second guessing yourself or changing your minds.  Have a few ideas of what you want your wedding to look like, feel like and the overall formality levels but remain just a little flexible.

Hopefully this spontaneous event is on the skirt or off season for weddings.  This will be so helpful.  Finding vendors a year out is tricky enough, but a month out?  Well that’s a whole new can of worms.  Remain flexible and open to recommendations from vendors who might be already booked but know someone with a similar style or budget.

Find a venue ASAP.  You have to get invitations or you won’t have any guests.  And it’s rather difficult to send out invites if you don’t have a location.  Most weddings planned on such a short notice have a smaller guest count and tend to be more casual, so consider what’s really important to you.  Will a restaurant or bed and breakfast do?  Do you need a place for a DJ and dancing?  Can the ceremony and reception take place in the same spot?

Stay away from diy projects.  They’re tricky enough when you have 9 -18 months to complete them, but on such short notice you’re just asking to be stressed out.

Find a planner.  Seriously.  I’m giving you a sales pitch here but they can save you so much wasted time and frustration.  If for nothing else, hire them on an hourly basis for consulting and let them steer you in the right direction.

Pray that you can find a dress off the rack.  We can’t have you walking down the aisle in your pj’s.  However lots of department stores also offer bridal selections, or at least formal white or ivory gowns that can be ordered and arrive within a weeks’ time.  You’re going to have to give up the dream of a custom, couture gown.  Sorry.

So what do you think, is a quick engagement right for you?  At the end of the day, you’re married and that’s the most important thing.  You’ve found the man of your dreams now you just have to figure out how to pair the perfect wedding with him.

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Ribbons :: A Graceful Extension of Design

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Bouquet Ribbons | The Day's Design | Hetler Photography

Photo by Hetler Photography

Yesterday I posted a little tidbit on my Facebook page about my love for ribbons.  When it comes to ribbon on a bouquet for me it’s simple (kind of), the more the merrier and the longer the better.  I spend just as much time picking the perfect accent colors, textures and styles for the ribbons as I do picking the blooms themselves.  The process might seem pretty straight forward, and maybe I’m just an over thinker (scratch that – I know I’m an over thinker) but it’s really important to me that the ribbons adorning your bouquet are perfect.

You may be wondering what there is to consider, I mean your wedding colors are pink and black so the blooms are pink the ribbon should be black. Simple enough, right?  That’s one possibility, definitely one that would add lots of drama.  But let’s think beyond just the color palette.

I like to consider what the bouquets will be photographed against.  If the bridesmaids are wearing black dresses, you’ll never see the black ribbon up against them.  On the contrary, black against the bride’s dress would certainly make a huge statement and will not be missed. When they’re not being held, where might the photographer place them?  Are there pretty wood floors or upholstered chairs in the bridal suite, I certainly wouldn’t want my ribbons to clash.  Will they be outside against the grass or against a tree… what might the photographer be thinking?

I also think about the overall feel or theme of the wedding.  I like to imagine what the ribbon will look like in conjunction with all the other décor elements.  If you’re using beautiful hand-dyed silk table runners, plain grosgrain ribbon simply won’t do.  Satin is classic, silk is flowy and graceful and suede is an earthy, more natural chose.

Ribbons are so beautiful blowing in the wind so if it’s an outdoor wedding (or if there’s the possibility of lots of outdoor pictures being taken) I always use lightweight ribbons that will look so carefree and elegant if the breeze should catch them.  You know those gorgeous flowing veil shots that make us all swoon?  Well my heart gets just as happy when I see the ribbons in motion with the wind.

Odd numbers are visually pleasing and since I can rarely decide on just one, most of my bouquets have at least 3 ribbons draping down.  Sometimes I aim to combine the styles of the décor, and sometimes I focus more on extending the color palette with a cascading trail of fabric.

Personal touches such as family heirlooms, meaningful trinkets or Grandma’s handkerchief are always sweet touches and make your bouquet extra special and unique. I believe every bride should love her bouquet more than any other piece of the wedding décor, it really does become an extension of you, an expression of your personal style and stays by your side for most of the day.

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Accent Flowers

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White & Gold Champagne Bar | The Day's Design | Heather Cisler Photography

It’s no secret that I love the art of floral arranging.  I can’t seem to get enough of designing with pretty blooms and I sincerely hope that this always holds true and never becomes a burden or a chore because it is my “job”.

While making big, lush arrangements is one of my favorite things ever I think they’ve become somewhat expected when you come to an event.  People expect to see the massive urns overflowing with lush greenery and delicate roses at the front of the ceremony.  They look for the floral centerpieces and ooh and ahh over the bride’s romantic bouquet.  In today’s world, these are “standard” pieces of wedding décor.

Sometimes it’s the simple anybody-can-do-it details that capture me the most.  It doesn’t have to be extravagant or over the top but rather tastefully done and even a little unexpected can have a huge impact.  Adding a couple leftover sprigs of green to the cake table, having a small simple bud vase with a single colored bloom by the guests book or having a couple of extra flowers on standby to photograph with your accessories or wedding invites.  Often these details that we find ourselves swooning over really aren’t so glamourous, they were just staged well and someone knew how to accessorize.

The picture above (so beautifully captured by Heather Cisler Photography) showcases the most gorgeous white ranunculus, which just adds a whole new level of pretty to the sparkly bar set up.  The sweet little ranunculus is the most perfect accent flower.  At times details like this are thought out and other times, I will completely admit, they were just a spur of the moment inspiration, which again is why you hire artists and vendors who you trust to make your special day even more than you ever imagined. It’s also a great way to add a little extra romance or natural feeling to a party that might not necessarily call for floral centerpieces or showpieces.

My philosophy is simple – every flower should be showcased and loved, leave no flowers behind.

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The Industry Newbies

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Shelby at Bloom the Workshop | The Day's Design | Grand Rapids wedding planner

Photo: Evie and Jr. Photography

At one point in life we were all new at something.  Whether it was our first time riding a bike, first day of school or the day we officially set up shop and opened our doors for business.  After spending over 10 years in the hospitality business, the past 5 years focused mainly on weddings and events and officially naming my business back in 2011 – I can’t help but still feel like a newbie.

And to the local wedding natives who made the West Michigan wedding industry what it is today, I am.  To others, I’m looked up to – which seems really strange to say, but I’m sent messages on a regular basis regarding my path to making it to where I am today.  They’re asking for advice from ME, the little newbie who is trying to make something of herself.

What I think it really comes down to is perspective.  Sometimes being a newbie and shaking things up a bit can be a really good, good thing.  While other times it’s translated a little more as “unexperienced” or “she doesn’t really know what she’s doing”.  Or in my case, it’s a little bit of both.  Let’s be perfectly honest here, if you have it all 100% completely figured out either you’re borderline boring or you’re not challenging yourself to take enough risks.

It’s with all of this in mind that I choose to support new businesses.  I like to collaborate and take risks offering newer professionals the chance to shine.  Sometimes the results are lacking, and sometimes they’re pure magic.  But if you never give a person the chance, then you’ll never really know the outcome.

Does that mean you should be hiring the industry “newbies” for you wedding, one of the most important days of your life?  Friends, do be hesitant.  Look for recommendations, experienced vendors can truly make or break your wedding day.  I would advise not using a full group of individuals who have little experience, however sprinkling one or two new vendors throughout your team might be refreshing.  After all, if no one would have ever taken a chance on me, I would still be sitting here daydreaming about planning my first wedding.

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Simple: Defined

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Bloom the Workshop | The Day's Design | Jenn Anibal Photography

What makes a wedding simple?  I find myself circling around this term again as yet another bride has used this word as a description of her ideal wedding.

I spent almost 15 minutes fluffing and re-fluffing, and making sure a tablecloth at last Saturday’s wedding fell with the perfect drape.  I wanted it to look as though it had just been thrown in place with such grace and ease.  But the fact is that simple and effortless look took a lot of time and care.

As an adjective, Dictionary.com offers 7 different definitions for the word simple.  Seven!!  That doesn’t seem “simple” to me.  Let’s narrow this down a bit, let’s focus on just a couple of those definitions.

Easy to understand, deal with, use

Weddings for the most part are easy to understand.  Most people have a general understanding of what is to happen during the wedding – there’s a bride, a groom and at the end of the day they became a united couple, usually with some sort of celebration or reception after.

Easy to deal with?  Well, that point could be argued a bit.  That can depend on family dynamics, individual desires, as well as multiple other factors.  Some find planning a wedding stressful, some find it fun but I can almost guarantee that at some point during the process, even if just for a fleeting moment, the person planning is not finding their day easy to deal with.

Not elaborate or artificial, plain

I would wager this is the definition that most people think of when they tell me that they’re looking for a simple wedding. Think back to that perfectly flowing linen and how much time it actual took to perfect.  Sometimes a plain wedding might mean a simple flower crown rather than a stuffy, traditional veil.  Perhaps you’re thinking of a table overflowing with candles rather than packed floral arrangements.  However consider how “unsimple” this really is.  For the floral designer, you wearing a veil is much easier.  Likewise, placing one flower arrangement on a table can be much easier than washing dozens of candle holders, hauling them to the reception site, keeping the flames lit and then taking them down and packing them up again at the end of the night.  Consider who you want the wedding to be simple for.

Not ornate or luxurious, unadorned

Luxurious is a word that can have many definitions in itself.   But I think one of the main misconceptions here is that if a wedding isn’t luxurious, filled with sky high floral arrangements and oodles of draping, it doesn’t feel stuffy and over the top, then it is simple and possibly lower budget.  However, luxury comes in all shapes and forms.  Sometimes it can be earthy and rustic.  Sometimes it can be natural and easygoing.  A luxury is really just something that isn’t one of life’s basic necessities, meaning that a wedding reception itself is really a luxury.

So what is it about your celebration that you really want to keep simple?  Hiring awesome vendors to help you will simplify the day for you.  Choosing an open, outdoor venue keeps the mood casual and unassuming.  However, please remember that expensive blooms can be arranged in a causal way.  Extra details, while “simple” are still extra work.  Keeping your style informal does not mean it going to be any easier planning.  Fussy doesn’t always mean expensive and inexpensive doesn’t mean carefree.

The tablescape pictured above seems unpretentious, informal and yet chic.  It took lots of planning and was not easy dragging it into the countryside setting.  Yet some might consider this a “simple” set-up. 

Check back tomorrow and I’ll share more of this shoot.  Photo by {Jenn Anibal}.

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Wedding Wardrobes

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IAutumn Wedding Party | The Day's Design | Hetler Photography

Photo by Hetler Photography

I am to be a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding.  While I’ve been a bridesmaid several other times, this is the first time that I’ve ever been asked to shop and purchase a legitimate “bridesmaids” dress, which is proving to be a bit more daunting than anticipated.  Previously, I had simply been handed a color swatch or I’ve been told to go pick out a black dress.  Simple enough.

When it comes to bridesmaids dresses today, it seems that anything goes.  You can match, you cannot match.  You can all wear the same fabric, length or color or shop completely independent of one another.  It’s really the bride’s choice, right?

When was the last time you went to the mall, picked out a complete outfit for your friend and made her wear it on an important night out on the town, without her ever trying it on first and agreeing.  You’d make sure the top hugged her curves just right and the shoes were killer (and comfortable!)  You might shop together, but you wouldn’t force her to wear something she didn’t like, right?

I was once a bride.  I totally thought it was within my rights to dictate what the members of my wedding party wore.  And it was my right, to a certain extent.  They want to feel comfortable and beautiful too, even if the day isn’t revolving around them.

So how do you make sure everyone feels comfortable and the bride still gets what she wants?  Here are a couple tips for you brides:

Analyze what’s really important to you about what the members bridal party wear.  Is it the color?  The style?  The length?  The fabric?  The overall look?  Pick one or two of these things to really be the focus.

Determine the formality level.  Are you hosting an extremely formal or traditional affair?  Then everyone matching might be really important to you.  If it’s there’s more of a casual, laid back theme, they you might reflect this through your wedding party’s wardrobe choosing patterned dresses or allowing the girls to mix and match.

Consider the weather.  If there’s a chance it might be chilly, allowing the girls to wear a floor length gown or tights/nylons might be greatly appreciated, even if the wedding itself doesn’t take place outdoors, there’s a good chance some of the pictures might.  Photographer’s love outdoor lighting.

Speaking of photographers – how do you want your photos to look?  Deeper colors can be really pretty and make a bold statement.  Pastel and neutral tones make give photos a softer more romantic look, blending more with their backdrops bringing focus to the picture as a whole not just the brighter pieces.

Study your surroundings.  Clothing should not only coordinate with other décor elements of your day but also locations where you wish to have portraits taken.  That cute little red barn might seem like the perfect backdrop for your wedding photos but maybe not if you’re ladies are wearing hot pink dresses.

Budget.  Ughh…. I feel like I’m constantly bringing up that nasty word.  But being a bridesmaid can be an expensive endeavor – there’s always more to buy than just shoes and a dress.  If you have your heart set on a pricy dress option, see if less expensive brands might have a similar option or there’s someone you know who can afford it, as her to wear it and the other ladies to purchase something that compliments her, but do be tactful please.

Be aware of different body shapes.  Dresses rarely come in a one-size-fits-all option.  At first glance it might seem like your wedding party is all pretty similarly size.  But upon further exploration, you might determine that Anna has a long torso and zero curves, Jane is extra busty and Gabby has legs that just don’t quit.  The translation – while technically they can all wear the same dress, only one or two are actually going to look good in it.

It’s really a balancing act – trying to make everyone happy, with the bride just slighter happier.  That’s how you choose the wedding day wardrobes.   Do you have other ideas that should be considered?  Or if you’re already married, did you let your wedding party pick their own dress or did you choose for them?

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And you can read the other side of the story about being an amazing bridesmaid here.

All in the Details

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As wedding season seems to have flown past, I’ve observed many tips and trips simply by trial and error that I’m really excited to share with you in the upcoming months.  One of the biggest things that has been on my mind lately though is the details.  You know, all those agonizing little pieces of the wedding day that you spend hour and hours debating, contemplating and Pinteresting.

Tea Party Wedding Invitations | The Day's Design | Creative Montage

I love hearing what a bride has in store or coming up with creative ways to help a bride display items, bring some personality into her day and tie all those final touches together.  We’re talking ribbon selections for the bouquets, escort cards, linen, favors, hankies, bowties, shoes and the list goes on and on.  Weddings are full of details.  It’s pretty rare for a bride who has hired me not to care about these things.  The memory of these details is sure to fade, do you want to remember?

Tea Party Wedding Details | The Day's Design

With the majority of my clients this year being partial planning or floral only, I haven’t had the opportunity to assist many of my couples with selecting their photographers, which is usually one of the first vendors hired.  Interestingly enough, the photographers hired aren’t always ones that love details as much as the brides.  Different photographers have different styles and focus more on various aspects of the wedding day.

So how do you hire a photographer that loves details?  Look at a photographer’s portfolio – are they capturing the cute signs the flowergirls are carrying down the aisle?  Can you get a sense of the story of the day from their galleries or do they focus more on portrait and candid photography?  Sure they might have a couple of ring shots in their portfolio, but do they schedule a time to get pictures of the entire ceremony or reception before the guests have been seated, drinks have been spilled and flowers have wilted?  Are they going to arrive at the reception beforehand to see the escort card display?  Are they arriving early enough in the wedding day to get pictures of your gorgeous shoes before you’ve walked through the grass?  Do they have a second shooter to help capture some of these extra shots?  How balanced are their wedding albums?

Vintage Inspired Tea party | The Day's Design | Bradley James Photography

It’s completely unrealistic to list every detail that you want photographed but if you want the majority of them captured, then be sure to make these wishes known.  You’ve spent time and money on these pieces of your day, so why not have them captured in an artful way?  I love this post from Ashley Slater Photography talking about detail shots – great tips for photographers, wedding pros and brides alike!

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All wedding details above captured by Bradley James Photography.

 

Wedding Color Palettes

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Blue Bridal Bouquet | The Day's Design | Sincerely, Ginger Weddings | Eliza Jean Photography

Photo by Eliza Jean Photography

There’s this old way of thinking that some brides still fall prey to when it comes to choosing wedding colors.  Pick 2 colors that you like and that go together.  2 colors – that’s all you get. For everything. Flowers, linens, dresses, ties – everything!

I don’t know where this originated from the 80’s or 90’s or maybe sometime before  – all I can say is it was long before I became a wedding planner and I remember thinking this rule was true when I was a little girl playing dress up.  Friends, I think it’s time that we abolish this rule FOREVER!

Actually, I know this rule is on it’s way out the door, no doubt.  But I still come across the occasional bride that tells me she’s having these two colors, end of story.  So you’re dreaming of a blue and white wedding.  That does not mean everything has to be blue and white.  I will not dye flowers into an unnatural shade of blue for you.  It’s just not meant to be.  Consider adding some natural purple blooms, a pop of blue thistle and maybe a couple of white buds with some greenery.  Create a color story.  Consider not focusing exclusively on the colors themselves, but the overall feeling of the event.

And then consider you’re space.  Like it or not, the room, venue, or area you decide to get married in, take pictures in, and dance the night away in will have a HUGE impact on the overall color scheme and the mood that is set with your event.  That hideous burgundy carpet – you will notice it.  Find a way to make it work and blend with your scheme.  Sometime ignoring it will make it stand out even more.    It’s like those pictures where one of these things is not like the other…

Trust your designers to make everything flow together and be open to slightly “outside of the box ideas”.  They know the touches that make the biggest impact and have an excellent eye for color – or at least I like to think I do!  Colors just make me happy and I want you to be happy too!

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Making It Work

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Gold, Aqua and Pink bouquet | The Day's Design | Ashley Slater Photography

I’ve been working on several design plans lately.  I love it when a bride comes to me full of the most perfect ideas you could ever imagine.  Everything from the wedding party attire to the venue to the cutest wedding party favors all match and flow seamlessly, making her a dream to work with and my job rather simple.  Then there’s the bride who has a couple ideas, but really needs me to help get the creative juices flowing.  That’s why you hire me – because I’m pretty creative.  When you can feel her excitement from across the planning table I know I’m doing my job and the excitement I feel is beyond words.

However sometimes it doesn’t end there.  Sometimes she continues planning and things go astray.  And then there’s the situation that the planning that has already been put into motion really isn’t the direction that you think the event should take and she just can’t see how you’re trying to eat pizza and oranges together in the same meal.

This is where the challenge begins.  This is where I have to remind myself that there’s a reason that she hired me.  She hired me to make it all work, to make it come together and make it beautiful.  I have to find a way to bridge that gap and bring her dream to life.

The problem is we’re so overwhelmed with images and ideas – Pinterest, wedding blogs and various other sources – that we just want it all.  And we want it to be amazing, budget friendly and stress free (I mean, you might as well, we’re already living in a fantasy).

Have you ever considered hiring a designer just to unjumble your brain?  They can help you focus on your priorities and come up with a plan that is truly you and not what every other Pinterest bride is doing.  Maybe mason jars (although sometimes inexpensive), might not be the right “thrifty route” for you.  Psst… I have some other fun ideas that are just as cheap, err… cost effective.  Talking to an expert – whether it’s a wedding planner, florist, designer etc. before committing to designs and ideas is always a great idea. Who knows, they might have a more inventive, charming or creative idea or perhaps you were on the right path all along.  And maybe we can just find a way to make it all work.

Some happy flowers from myself and Ashley Slater Photography for your Friday… Happy Weekend!!

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PS – This is not pointed at one of my brides specifically, just general information and thoughts I’ve had based on life and conversations & I love a design challenge xo